My husband has more excuses and promises than anyone I have ever met. He is able to express himself in ways that push just the right buttons in me and without much effort on his part---I believe! I want my marriage to work and I have accepted every little crumb he throws my way....literally I am like a kid at christmas....everytime I think the big bow means theres a gift....and every time I find out the box is empty, I buy into the sad story, the lengthy excuses, the aches, pains, promises of next time.....I started making a list to see it in black and white and I can't believe how much of this crap I have put up with.....and now I dont have much respect for myself for getting into this mess....and no clue how to begin to rebuild my personhood (hope that makes sense...because I dont know exactly how it got this bad...its been really small things.....that have escalated...and now he trash talks me daily_)....I am strong in other areas of my life....but here I am braindead. Help?
2007-07-31 16:23:11 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Assuming you are female, you already have one built-in tendency that you must overcome, or rein in, if you want to keep a relationship with a man.
DO NOT expect him to act or behave exactly as you WANT him to. Women are notorious for believing:
"If he loves me, he will _______." (fill in blank)
If the guy really is a jerk, though...get rid of him!
But if you constantly keep having expectations for him that he cannot, for whatever reason, fulfill, he will just get angry because he knows its impossible to please you.
(Sigh, yet another reason I'm so glad I'm gay).
2007-07-31 16:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by teetiger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stand up to hin dont let him feel that he has some sort of power over you and the way you live your life. You need to start doing things that make you happy. Build your self confidence up and the things he do will start to seem so small to you and that will hurt him more when he does start trash talking you and you show that he is not even getting to you in the least way. If you want to work on your marriage you and he need to have a serious talk about the way he is treating you and making you feel. I hope that everything works it self out for you and that you find happiness.
2007-07-31 23:36:31 · answer #2 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the book "Co-dependent No More". Even if he isn't on drugs or drinks too much, this book can be very enlightening. Knowledge is the key. If he is on drugs call Narcotics Anonymous and have them direct you to the nearest Co-dependent meetings. Or if he drinks, call Alcoholics Anonymous and have them direct you to the nearest Al-non meeting. Also there is book called "When Women Love Too Much" Sorry, I don't know the authors names.
2007-07-31 23:49:40 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you stay married doesn't mean your marriage is working.
Using the words "crumbs thrown your way"....is a big sign that you need to either get some counseling or leave.
2007-07-31 23:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋