relationship with his children, his friends, his family, etc. for you and he is the one who brought baggage to the relationship, how do you handle that?
I'm married, so is my sister and she was a single, never married who married a man with three children. She has always been nice to them, worked hard, has a successful career, and wanted to have children with him. He has been trying to have a relationship with all of his family and is just finishing his degree. What do I tell her to do? I know she loves him, but, I think she is broken.
2007-07-31 15:29:21 · 9 answers · asked by Alena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
and he's been telling her they will have kids once she warms up to his. She is giving up hope for everything and it hurts me to see her go through this.
2007-07-31 15:33:49 · update #1
I think you can not get involve .you should h;lp her as a sister will.but not further than that is her choice.
2007-07-31 15:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by june 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya. I bet she is at the point where she is concerned about leaving a relationship she worked hard for and trying to start another and have children, too. I realized that before I got married to my current husband and we don't have any!
I didn't marry the guy I cared for who had children, though. But, your sister can't. I think she should see a counselor and tell them how she feels. If you think about it, she is going to regret the whole thing. Tell her life is more about living and she is loved.
Don't let her get depressed to the point that she does act on her feelings, because women who marry someone with kids and don't have any of their own are doormats and will go to that extreme. I'm sorry.
2007-07-31 15:55:16 · answer #2 · answered by LaraLara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously he feels that she doesnt care for his children enough.. obviously theres more to this story, because he either has been given a reason to feel this way, (issues between her and the kids) or he could be hypersensitive when it comes to his kids, and nothing will ever be good enough.. so it could go either way. And considering ur sister doesnt have any kids of her own, id bank more on the fact that she's given him reason to believe that she is trying to wedge between him and the kids.. only doing "enough" to not look like a horrible step mom, but not actually actting like anything more then someone that has to act like a babysitter here and there and not actually a "mother" role..
Although ur sister should come first, when push comes to shove she wont.. his kids will win in the end.. and she needs to decide if this is more then she bargained for.. its not easy being a step mom, but its really not easy for someone that doesnt have children themselves..
So she needs to decide if this is what she wants for the rest of her life cause the kids arent going anywhere and neither are the problems they have in their marriage concerning the kids..
2007-07-31 15:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She might love him but, I would really have to question if he loves her! She shouldn't give up on life because of this man. She needs to take some time for herself away from him....Maybe you could plan a sister get away for the two of you?
Just let her talk and you listen. Let her know you will always be there for her no matter what. Let her know she is worth more then the way he is treating her and she should have kids if she wants them. Sounds like this isn't the right guy to do it with....
2007-07-31 15:38:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! Well for someone(myself)been in the same sitution about 8 years ago.....my hubby has 3 kids(18,17 and a 14year old) by his first marriage and we have one together....but when we got together the kids were 8,7 and 5 years old(9 years ago)he claimed that he would sacrifice the same for me and even after 9 years he has not done ANY of it!So all i can say hon is " be there for your sister b/c she is going to need you if she stays with this guy.I'm still with my hubby even after 9 years of h*ll off and on with his 3 and our 1...........but ALL 4 kids are mine!And to be honest i would not trade them for NOTHING in this world!Even though the kids and hubby has put me through h*ll and back in 9 years,i love them all with all my heart!
Be there for your sis hon,b/c she is and will need you.That i can promise you!!!!
Good luck hon
2007-07-31 15:45:43 · answer #5 · answered by bambi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sister should talk with her husband and go over her pain. he is probably sad, too. don't let her go any longer without doing that. i bet they have been fighting and said a lot of things they regret. i would start there.
2007-07-31 18:49:06 · answer #6 · answered by SweetiePie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister should never have been with this married man. Now she is dealing with the consequences. Bummer.
2007-07-31 15:40:06 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whomever would sacrifice there kids is a stupid moron
2007-07-31 16:08:39 · answer #8 · answered by AlphaFeGreatWhite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she is his suger mama/baby sitter.
2007-07-31 15:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by s f 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋