last name change?

Question

Hi there
My name is steve & I got married 3years ago
After the wedding my wife changed her last name and took my middle name because my last name is too long and has a bad memory to me.
I bear one of my fathers name as my last name
He used to abuse me in the most horrific ways that I cant mention.
He,s passed on now.
I hate this name and avoid relating to it.
Infact I hate when peple use my last name when calling me.
On the other side of the coin I love my father In-law and named my son after him.
Do you think I,ll be a freak if I took his name as my last name and dumped my biological fathers name.
And how do I legally do it?
Ps advise

Answer 1

You can change your name to anything you like, as long as it is not for fraudulent purposes. You should contact an attorney or one of those places that does legal help but they are not attorneys (in California we have "We the People"). Either a service or an attorney can help you with the paperwork to change your name.

Good luck, Dude, sorry you had such a tough childhood.

Answer 2

No, I do not think you would be a freak and no one would need to know where your last name came from unless you told them.

You can go to court and legally change your last name to whatever you want it to be. Name changes aren't too big of a hassle as long as the court is sure you aren't changing the name for purposes of fraud or to hide from debt. If you explain to the judge why you want a name change, the judge will most likely grant it.

Afterward, you will have to take your paperwork and change your name with everyone from Social Security to your employer to the banks and utility companies, but thats a day or two of your time and I would say well worth it.

Your wife could also change her last name again so that your names would match as would the names of any children you may decide to have.

My uncle was in the same position you are in. His father was horribly abusive and he decided to legally change his first, middle and last names when he was well into his 40's to make a new start. He chose a nice first and middle name and then took his birth mother's last name.

Answer 3

Wow-- long question. But I've got a short answer (relatively).
No, you're not a freak. Yes, you can legally do it; call your county courthouse and ask how.

Here's what happened with my husband and me: We had the same middle name; he'd been married before, so there was already a "Mrs.." and I didn't really want to be the 2nd. Also, he parents were kind of jerks and didn't really accept me. So... before we married, he changed his name. They'll ask you, "Are you trying to avoid creditors?" and stuff like that. You pay $25 or whatever it is, and then your name is changed! You can change it to whatever you like. You will change your social security card (you'll keep your same number) to reflect the name change. You may need your name change documents to change your driver's license, etc. After a year or so, everyone will get used to your new name (including you). Your wife would probably want to change her name too, I'm guessing. It's really not that complicated. Go for it. I think you have good reason to. (By the way, my husband got the typical outrage from his family "It's the end of the lineage!" but they eventually got over it.)

Answer 4

Steve,

If you want to change your last name then go ahead and do it. All you really need to do is file some papers at the local courthouse. An attorney can help you do it. The judge will want to know why (verbally) and as long as you're not doing it to avoid a lawsuit or a fraud, it'll be okay.

Many people change their names. Some because they don't want to be associated with someone else with that name, some because they feel more comfortable with being "Bill" versus "William".

Before changing your name to the father-in-laws, I'd sit down with him and ask if it's okay with him. (He'll probably say yes.)

Good Luck.

Answer 5

Ummmmmm, well If you don't like your biological fathers name and don't want to have to do anything with that side of the family, why don't you just change your families name to something special and unique to you? What about your mothers maiden name? I think it would be weird for you to take your wife's maiden name but if you feel closer to that family then go for it. My sister married a guy named Ronaldo Martinez and right before they got married he changed his name to Ronald Christianson......... I thought it was weird but oh well, they picked Christianson cause they are Christians??? Needless to say my family was disgusted by that

Answer 6

Your last name is not your father. It is your blood line. Counseling may help you to forgive and get on with your life. You can't keep living in the past. Stop being a victim and become a survivor. You will need a lot of help to do that. Once you forgive, you will get rid of your hate and resentment and you will be a lot freer and more at peace. That will give you a better life, so it is well worth doing. Forgiving is for you, not for your abuser. He is gone to his reward now, so holding resentments against him, only hurts you and others around you who feel it.