He hasn't really done anything. He just seems distant. I guess I'm just insecure about the state of our marriage right now. Sometimes I don't think he loves me anymore. I feel like he thinks of sex as more of a chore than something he really wants. I see couples everyday who seem to be really in love. I see husbands who aren't afraid to tell their wives that they love them when other people are around. I wish my marriage were more like those. Sometimes I think that he wouldn't care if I walked out the door...or told him to walk. Maybe it's all in my head. I don't know.
2007-07-31 15:03:05 · 7 answers · asked by ncgirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont put youself down, it will only make things worse...Its like your only hurting yourself...Maybe you should talk to your husband...Let him know how you feel...He has to understand, otherwise, he wont know what is thr problem...I am sure you are hurting...I would be if I was in your position...But the best way is to talk to him...Maybe you guys should plan something...Like a romantic getaway...This will help the 2 of you have more communication and understandings of what is going on...And dont be too hurt...Who knows, maybe he is just tired from work...But only you are putting yourself down if you continue to think this way without actually knowing...Like I said, talk to him and let him understand...Love is stronger than anything honey...
2007-07-31 15:09:37 · answer #1 · answered by <3 Is It You <3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't judge your marriage on anyone Else's. No marriage is the same. I am sure some look at you and say i wish we were more like that. He might just be going through a change and all you can do is be patient with him. I am sure he will come around. Plan a special diner with candle light at home and sit down and have a long talk about your life whats going on what you are looking forward too and get him talking maybe he will tell you what is going on with him.
2007-07-31 22:11:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may or may not be "all in your head" but what is in your head is something that you can manage. You cannot change your husband but you can work on yourself. Everything you put in your post was about your feelings and your thoughts. You mentioned nothing specific about him but only about YOUR FEELINGS about him. If you are feeling that he doesn't love you any more, perhaps he too is feeling that you don't love him anymore. Things have become dull and predictable and life is about paying the mortgage, not about romancing the girl he fell in love with. EVERY MARRIAGE goes through such times. You are craving the romance but waiting for him to make it happen. He might but he might not. If you want romance from him, you will have to work on it as hard as he does. If you don't care one way or the other, he's not likely to care either and both of you will starve eachother into nothingness. So right now YOU have to make a choice. Do you care? If the answer is no, then it doesn't matter if he loves you anymore, you don't love him. If the answer is yes, then start coming up with things to let him know it. You may not get the feed back you want right away, but if he does care, and possibly if he doesn't right now, you can create on YOUR SIDE the personna that he fell in love with originally. Being in love requires exercise (emortional exercise) So start doing the things to him and for him that you would do if you were still competing for his attentions. You are. Before perhaps it was with other women. Now its with the stresses of life. It may take some time to get him exercising towards you, but unless at least one of you starts exercising the love feelings, neither of you will feel them even if you both have them. He's most likely to tell you that he loves you if he feels loved by you. He's most likely to romance you if your being romantic with him. You won't get it by "demanding it" but you might get it by re-creating it and reawakening those feelings both of you surely once hand.
2007-07-31 22:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Orv 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Use reverse tactics on him. Don't be mean, be distant and unconcerned. Don't call after him, don't look for him. Find something else to do. Don't ask him a lot of questions when he comes home from somewhere. He will sooner or later come around to find out why you are not insecure any more. He will become the insecure one. He is too sure about you right now. So he has the control. Reverse that and see what happens. If you do it right, you will be amazed. You have to hold out long enough though, for it to work right.
2007-07-31 22:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ncgirl, perhaps you and your man need to have a good heart to heart and discuss the things that you mention here to him. Do so in a mature and open minded manner and hopefully you will arrive at the answers to the questions that are concerning you at present. Best of luck and keep an open line of communication with your husband as this is number one in any relationship.
2007-07-31 22:07:49 · answer #5 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when a couple get married, they usually takes thing for granted because the race to fight for the one they want is already in their hand. if he still loves you then he is responsible for the family and ensure all is taken care of. He will see that food, clothings, entertainment us there and within the budget.
He also has a career to chase so that he can afford better quality living condition. In other words, when a man marries a woman, he will always love her no matter what.
take care and best wishes
2007-07-31 22:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by michael o 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know how that feels like. I was there once. But the only advice I could give you is to talk to him and pray that he has the heart to listen to your feelings.
2007-07-31 23:00:13 · answer #7 · answered by Confused 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋