PLEEAASE help...my boss used to be so friendly/nice towards me, always making conversation; suddenly he just acts like i'm another person...yet he's still pretty friendly w/ other people...what is going on?? He's going on long vacation soon and I really don't want it to end like this....Please give me all possible reasons....should I ask him about it???
2007-07-31 14:30:06 · 22 answers · asked by allycat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your boss has suddenly changed the way he is treating you (not everyone, just you) then you probably have a good reason to be worried. Perhaps your boss isn't sure how to confront you with the issue and he is letting his annoyance fester unaddressed. That's not good! You need to talk to your boss and get the air cleared. It will show him that you are a mature and professional person and hopefully you can resolve the issue.
I know you asked for possible reasons that he could be annoyed but I would urge you to not speculate. Speculation would be a useless waste of time and serve only to add to your stress. Approach the situation in a respectful manner, ask what, if anything, you have done to hurt your working relationship and find out how to rectify the situation.
Good luck!
2007-07-31 15:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by moleary1018 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something called a number line in relationships, the center being zero on the left is positive numbers on the right negative numbers, let's say 5 to 1 on both sides, with zero in the middle, highest numbers at the ends. Example:
+5 +4 +3 +2 +1 0 -1 -2 -3 -4 -5
You said that your boss was really friendly in the pass, so we'll place in +3 (he's your boss so we'll put the relationship in perspective.) Every time he hears a negative comment (like gossip or a flat out lie or a truth) about you his feelings towards you change (without a conscience effort), regardless if you have done anything to merit the negative or positive comment, told to him. If it is one person is feeding him several negative comments about you or if it is several the same effect occurs. Every negative comment moves one notch to the right. For example three negative comments about you to him would move in to Zero. At Zero he would be apprehensive towards you (you might not merit what was said about you, but this does not matter, what matter and causes the shift in mood is the negative comment about you that subconsciously changes his attitude toward you. ) Further negative comments about you would move him to the negative number and at that point he would prefer now at a conscience level not to even see you. He just would not be liking you very much at this time.
So my answer to your question is that someone (perhaps an envious co-worker who has the ins with your boss is badmouthing you.
I would not talk to him about it directly face to face, however I would take my time composing a Memo (if you do not know how to write a memo research it) to him. In the letter you would state the date you began working for the company. Express your excitement at that time regarding gaining entry to the field you work at. Tell him that in addition you where comforted in having a friendly relationship with him and your co-workers. And Thank him. For example: I want to take this time to thank you. Tell him that recently you've felt a bit uncomfortable because you've notice a change in him and you are concern. Tell him, that before he goes on vacation could he give you advice on how to improve your work and or give you any special instructions he'd like you to follow while he is out. Tell him you would like him to have your cell number just in case he needs it while he's away. Then tell him as far as your work is concern he should not worry. Finish your Memo by tell him that if you do not hear from him, you will assume very thing is good and you wish him the best time while on his vacation. Then finish the memo with a simple: Thank you.
2007-07-31 15:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by Gynnie D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, not good!well, i think u shouldnt ask him, at least now.U're nervous, confused abt his attitude and plz, dont let him know that.Dont let him know that u're confused cuz maybe there's some bad intention on his mind....ewww! Just wait and if he stills has weird action like that? So then, u can ask him.Dont feel sorry abt anythin.this's all his fault.Weird boss!or maybe u've just got a new bf and ur boss also likes u too and u know.... jealousy! hehe or maybe somecolleague said somethin bad abt u to him so maybe...... im not sure, just bring out some possible situations.... ^^ be strong, girl!
2007-07-31 14:54:46 · answer #3 · answered by 女å©_ç?±_å??å? 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe your boss was romantically interested in you but when you didn't reciprocate, he ended his pursuit.
You don't really state any mean things that he did, just that he is not giving you special attention anymore. That's not mean. It's normal.
Make sure that you've done all your work, on time. Make sure you didn't fall short on meeting any committments you made. I wouldn't ask him about it. It could all be in your head and it would make him wonder about insecurity issues on your part if you did ask him. Just do your job and don't feel that other people moods are your responsibility.
2007-07-31 14:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, ask him about it. I went in and confronted my boss the one day about how unfair he was treating me and gave him examples. I told him that I was looking for another job and my question was did I need to per sue that option. He apologized and said he was sorry, that he didn't realize he was making me feel that way and that he would like for me to stay. We have had a great working relationship ever since.
2007-08-04 12:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by RPrincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you have probably tried to think if you did something wrong,but if you cant figure it out,than I think its ok to go and ask....say...hey,ive noticed you have been acting a little different towards me and I was wondering if I did something wrong. Be very nice about it...but not overly nice...you know...like your trying too hard. If he says no,you haven't done anything wrong,tell him you have noticed he doesn't talk to you like he used to and you see him talking to everyone else and your jealous,and you don't like that.... demand that he must come and talk to you every day when you get to work
2007-07-31 14:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by comethunter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boss she how can I say it she tell me I am doing my job but I try to all I can I know it had on her but someone is making mistake 4 they my did they might get or it I'm the one get it all most getting it all the time and I cant prove it. what can do it might make very sick sooner or later
2015-05-18 05:29:15 · answer #7 · answered by Gail “Diva” 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a common thing for bosses to suddenly become afraid of their workers progressing and possibly taking their job away from them. He's afraid of that, and he acts like that because of that. It happens a lot.
2007-07-31 14:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by Question Able 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it is feasable that you approach him and propse for a personal meeting. dont be firm yet. just politely ask what is his expectation from you. what you feel is that is not right. if not you might want to look at the internet for new jobs since you two cant get along. it underlines that your self esteem is low. bring it back up.
2007-07-31 14:35:34 · answer #9 · answered by Mr Voom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you see him after hours.
Don't put him on the spot in front of co-workers. He'll be ambarrassed and defensive.
I wouldn't come right out and ask him like you did us. LOL
Refer to how things were,a nd compair to how things are now. Maybe asking him if you've done anything to enforce his action towards you would be more appropriate.
Good luck. :)
2007-07-31 14:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by whynotme_ldh 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋