I am a 28 year old single, straight, virgin male that has never had a girlfriend or never even a first kiss. Gee, I guess I should not have ran away from that game of spin the bottle when I was a kid. Anyway, I only went on a couple of dates with two different girls (when I was 23-24) and I was more interested in getting back home to get coffee with my friends. I don't believe in sex before marriage, but I would like to try getting a girlfriend to see if it's worthwhile to have that kind of love in my life. However, I do not like to being touched or be too close to anyone for too long. Kissing seems really gross to me! That might seem immature, but I'd be wouldn't be telling the truth if I said otherwise. I love getting really close to getting a girl interested, then ruining my chances. I get what I only can describe as a "high" from that. I was not ever abused and I am not gay as I am attracted to girls and girls only. Can anyone identify a specific problem. I am lost.
2007-07-31 12:45:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Late Bloomer
2007-07-31 15:04:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least you have a sense of humor about it. There are many people who sabotage their relationship chances. It seems that people who do this are using a destructive automatic solution stemming from long ago fear-based issues having to do with power and control. It might help you to talk with a counselor. There are three types of people: Givers, Takers and Sharers. Once you know, understand and 'get' the third group (Sharers) on a gut level, it all starts to fall into place and your relationships start to work out. Sharers know in their mind, their heart and their soul they deserve to receive as well as give. Sharers know, over the long run, the relationship will balance out to be 50/50 give and take. Sharers have a healthy self respect and they expect their partner to treat them with respect, the same respect they give their partner. When they don't, a Sharer leaves. Perhaps you haven't yet found someone in this third group.
2007-07-31 20:03:14 · answer #2 · answered by Darke Angel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of so many people say that kissing is gross... until they do it. lol
I think once you meet the right person, you won't feel this way. I think some people do get a sense of pride when THEY ruin a relationship, because they haven't allowed THEMSELVES to be hurt.
Just remember that it is hurting someone on the other side, and what goes around, comes around (trust me).
You aren't alone in this. My best friend dated a guy in your situation, and he was the best boyfriend, and she cared about him so much because she felt she was truly the only one in his life. If it bothers you, talk to a counselor about it. If not, just hang in there, and you'll meet the right girl, and this will all probably go away. Just be careful of everyone's feelings. =)
2007-07-31 19:56:33 · answer #3 · answered by SouthernBelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could Asexual - as in having no interest at all in a sexual realtionship.
Try meeting some girls and going on dates, put yourself out there and just see how it all progresses. In time you may meet a girl that you really connect with and then you may be more interested in kissing, or at least not so eager to go get a coffe with friends.
2007-07-31 20:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be a late bloomer or you may just be one of the few people who is better equiped to live a life alone. If dating and relationships consistently fail to make you happy then maybe you should consider a life without them. There are so many benefits. You'll have your entire life to pursue your own goals and live out your own dreams without having to worry about how it affects your relationships. You may be able to develop closer and more meaningful friendships, more time to pursue the hobbies and careers of your choice, more time to travel, etc.
2007-08-02 21:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Shawna Elise 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound just fine to me I was nearly 27 when I had my second real 'steady' and I have been married many years and have 8 Grandchildren PS I waited for my husband---took a lot of ribbing for it too. My Dad didn't even believe that I waited for my husband before I had sex.
One of these days a girl will come along and you two will be crazy for each other and you will find out just how sweet it can be !
2007-07-31 20:49:15 · answer #6 · answered by Bemo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A late bloomer maybe,but in order to bloom,you've got to want bloom.Being in a relationship involves touching and kissing.Having hot coffee with friends is fine.Having a pair of hot lips is better.
2007-08-01 03:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by Impact 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you are either asexual or have some deeper psychological issue at hand here. You may possibly have a fear of intimacy due to something that happened in your youth, or a deep-seated fear of yourself (thus, afraid to become close to others). I'd talk to someone about it, just to run it up the flagpole.
2007-08-01 01:57:13 · answer #8 · answered by hailtothethief_orwellwasright 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you may have problems with intimacy, and control. I would say a few visit with a good therapist would do wonders for you, good luck!
2007-07-31 22:38:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your just a late bloomer you just have to get out more
2007-07-31 19:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋