What to do when you are very lonely?

Question

What to do when you are very lonely?

ok... I just got out of a painful 'relationship'. Had to let it go because well I refused to be a doormat. But before he came into my life I was fine and just enjoying my everyday life. However, after it ended I suddenly felt lonely. He basically awakened the feelings of being someone and caring about them. And now I dont know what to do. I'm really lonely. I hang out with friends and try to keep busy but apparently it's not working... I hate this feeling

Answer 1

I understand what you're going through. Sometimes it is unavoidable, there ARE times when we will be alone, or feel lonely, and we have to know how to survive even during those times. If going out with friends or visiting family is not helping, then you have to find out how to enjoy your own company again. Find your independance. It IS wonderful to have a partner in your life, to share intimate moments with, to expereince things with, to be there for each other. But there are always those times in-between relationships, and times before we really find "the one" we will be with for the rest of out lives, when we ARE alone. And there may be times where we have lonely moments even while IN a relationship.Those times are when we have to learn how to enjoy ourselves again. Love yourself, and enjoy the time you have to spend alone with yourself. Sometimes when we are alone, we find out things about ourselves that otherwise would be hard to see. It is a good time to grow, and learn to appreciate ourselves as an individual person again. Remember the things that you used to do when you were single. If those do not sound enjoyable, what DOES sound enjoyable to you? Maybe you are ready to find new hobbies and interests. Try to write down your feelings in a notebook, and do it as if you were actually talking to someone. I do this when I am feeling lonely or depressed, and it is a big release, and it also brings you to a deeper understanding of yourself. I have about three notebooks that are full of my thoughts, ideas, and feelings. It gives you the feeling of actually talking to someone, but in reality you are talking to yourself, and actually getting to know yourself at the same time, and alot of times you find the answers within yourself already, as you are writing your feelings down. I also get out when I am able to during these times, and go somewhere quiet to think. Or I just get in the car and drive, with relaxing music playing, and alot of times I am able to think more clearly and come to a conclusion on why I'm feeling this way, and how to help myself. But don't feel lonely. All breakups usually feel this way in the beginning, but it will pass. You will come out of this a stronger person and knowing yourself better, that's how it always works. Wishing you the best. :)

Answer 2

He awakened the feelings of being someone? Who were you before the relationship?

It is very important to cultivate a sense of independance, and non neediness. You have that opportunity now. To a great extent becoming fully empowered as a human will overcome the sense of being "less than", and insufficient "unto yourself".

Very effective methods: regular exercise and meditation and yoga, tai chi, chi gong. Once your internal energy moves in an unblocked manner, and is abundant, you'll know what non arrogant, egoless, non narcissistic independance feels like. It is an unmistakable sense of health, strength, well being , and capability to deal with everything competently, with wisdom and compassion, and completely on your own.

Once you've achieved this, and found someone at that level, too, you'll have the basis for a healthy, mature, relationship.

Good Luck :))

Answer 3

I cry it out as nothing beats that kind of release, then I talk it over with people and then basically I try to move on as life really does...I know the answer is not making sense right now as we are in a different situation but it's just a suggestion.

Answer 4

I just broke up with my girlfriend of two years and though it was a very necessary thing to do, after wards, regardless of the way I felt towards her, I also felt very lonely and still do a little bit. I had to realize that I can't actualize or validate myself based upon whether or not I am with someone. Also that I have my won heart, and my own feelings unique from hers and she does not have to be there for me to be my own person. It takes some courage and strength to stand on your own two feet and realize that you are who you are regardless of who you're with or not with.

I honestly think it's OK to be lonely for awhile. Just give yourself some time to recoup and remember all the things you love about yourself. You can never fully give yourself to a relationship unless you are truly aware of who you are and what you're sharing.

Hope this helps,
-Red

Answer 5

You're suffering from withdrawal. This usually happens when a couple go into "tight orbit" with each other, cutting off outside friends and interests. It will take time to feel whole again. Just remember in your next relationship to maintain your independent existence a bit more.

Answer 6

Try doing things you did before that you did for yourself or just try and focus on how you are worth your time and effort even if you're single just because he made you realize you are someone worthwhile doesn't mean you aren't when he's gone. Use your worthwhileness to show the world yourself. If you are feeling painful with the loneliness then try art or writing even if you aren't good at it, it may help.
Good luck and hang in there.

Answer 7

Time alone can be very lonely...I found that this was a perfect time to get to know me again. I'll tell you a secret, even though others go to bed with a partner, they are still lonely.
When you've become your own best friend, you may be lonely, but never alone! Hope this help? Pixie48

Answer 8

I Chant the Maha Mantra (the great mantra for deliverance from all suffering and illusion) We are really never alone and their is one true love which will never let us down. We left that love and that is why we are in this material Illusion (Maya) and suffering so much. Love here is only a perverted reflexion of the absolute real love. Here it is lust, meaning for ones sense pleasure. In the eternal world it is all selfless and eternal (undying) though we have free will and choose to come here. He, God, (also known as Krishna, Allah, Jehovah, Vishnu, etc. Has never left us. He is situated within the core of you heart. Chanting His transcendental names reawakens our consciousness to reality and our eternal loving relationship with Our eternal Lover (God) For info Read Bhagavad Gita as it is By Bhaktivedanta PRabhupaada -tell the whole process. So sweet simple and heart fulfilling. I love Him. You can too. asitis.com you can read on line also if you like write me for a link with details on the mantra.

Answer 9

What is loneliness? Is it being alone? Or the fear of being alone?
Be careful because you are in a very vulnerable state of mind right now. You need to think about what it was about him that kept you around in the first place.

Answer 10

I been there...That feeling is not a great one...That lil man always in your mind telling you negative things...Mind is always wondering and wondering who they are with...Appetite leaves and when that phone rings you praying its that special someone....I know you don't enjoy it right now but being with your friends and getting out the house is the only thing going to help but don't do nothing you will regret later out of spite...Best wishes to you....