this short paragragh ok?

Question

I would greatly appreciate a teaching position your school district. I feel that I can work at a greater potential in your caring atmosphere. Please send me an application by post or email. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you.

Answer 1

You are applying to teach. Of course it matters whether you make an 'impression' with this letter (or any other).

As already stated, the first line needs to read, 'in your school district'.
That second line bothers me a bit, but then I tend to nit-pick. You ought to say 'great potential' rather than 'greater potential' since 'greater' needs something to be compared to. Something bugs me about the phrase ' working at a great (greater, or whatever) potential'. Does anyone work AT any kind of potential, or does an atmosphere have the potential to allow you to do your best work?

I would greatly appreciate a teaching position in your school district. I feel that your caring atmosphere is one in which I can work to my best potential. Please send an application by post or by email.

(Note, I removed the 'me' in the last line since each sentence prior to that already had 'I' in it. The sentence really was fine, but I told you I tend to nit-pick.)

Good Luck.

Answer 2

"Please send me an application form by post or email, as I would like to teach in your school. Thank you and I look forward to hearing from you."

That is all you need to say. If you are applying for ANY school job, change the wording to "teach in any school in your district."

Answer 3

Sounds fine for this purpose. Don't worry about impressing the HR person who sends out the Application. It's not at this point you need to impress. Are you sure you cannot download the application for this school, usually you can these days. Check the school's main website.

Answer 4

teaching position IN your school....
an application FORM by post....
It's OK otherwise.
Good luck!

Answer 5

well first off, your first sentence makes no sense. but the rest sounds fine.