Poem #9 "Tree" ...what is your opinion?

Question

Tree

Silent sentinel to the flowing ages
Uncountable arms
Reach upwards
Broadened limbs which do not falter
To embrace the heavens?
Perhaps to praise them.
I am left to wonder.

May it be...
That I rest awhile under your watch
Listen to your whisperings
As you dance with the hidden wind
Wisdom spoken
Not in the words of men
Sparkling diamonds
Your glossy garments catch the light

And how you change
With the transient seasons.
Attire kissed by fire
Hues blazoned by the sun,
Yet sure and in good measure
Their time is spent and gone.
Finest raiment falls away
Left naked in the bitter cold
Remains the lesson
Be it considered
Nothing here, is here to stay.

Answer 1

This is actually one of the better poems I've read on YA. The "sparkling diamonds" and the line that follows seems out of place in that stanza, however. They are wonderful lines, just out of place after "words of men". I'd suggest you consider moving those to lines up so that they follow "watch", making it:

May it be...
That I rest awhile under your watch
Sparkling diamonds
Your glossy garments catch the light
Listen to your whisperings
As you dance with the hidden wind
Wisdom spoken
Not in the words of men

Otherwise, it was a beautiful poem, well thought, beautifully executed.

keep writing, you're good at it.

Answer 2

Spiffs, This is a very nice descriptive poem. I like your word choices in your opening strophe. I don’t know if I like the question mark on line 5, as on my first few reads it didn’t feel like a question to me. I did however love the content of the last three lines in strophe one. In strophe two, I like the word “watch” going back to the sentinel image. I wasn’t clear on what sparkling diamonds was meant to convey. I did really like, “Your glossy garments catch the light.” Strophe three was very evocative. I liked your inline rhyme “Attire kissed by fire”. The message flowed well here. I liked, “Left naked in the bitter cold.” I wonder if the poem could lose Be it considered, and not really lose anything at all.

Well those were my initial thoughts. Good poem. I enjoyed it. Thanks.

Answer 3

very nice. I like this poem a lot. Not only did it sound nice, and was well put together, but you strayed from the usual topics of depression and suicide, which seem to be very popular on Y!A. Again, wonderful.

Answer 4

10 stars.. great job.. I was just wondering this evening about poem,ing,, a tree. After your, I would be hard pressed to match it.. thank you.. peace out

Answer 5

whoever wrote this has spent time under a very good tree .

Answer 6

my opinion is that this is "just perfect"!
write some more.....

Answer 7

I like it. And I love trees, too. Thanks.