When are women going to learn to accept their men ?

Question

Why can't women accept that men have different "needs" than they do? Women's lib and Oprah / etc... has done a great deal to enlighten men as to how we need to emotionally connect with our s/o or spouse. That the emotional leads to the physical for women.

Why can't women accept that men are the opposite? All the "He can't look at other women, he shouldn't need porn, but then I shouldn't have to put out for him just because he wants it." crap is getting really, really old.

Women don't want their man to look around (or worse yet cheat), but they don't take care of him at home. Men take more rejection from their wives then they ever put up with on the singles scene.

Women, you want a happy faithful man that will do ANYTHING for you, then put out - regularly and with enthusiam !! He'll be putty in your hands.

BOTTOM LINE - I've never known a man to cheat if his wife or s/o gives him physical attention everyday. A quickie, a helping hand, a BJ, whatever. Feed the need !!

Well Tim - I am married (very happily) for 11+ years.....

Its just funny that the majority of posts from females are telling me how "wrong" I am to state this as so black and white, and that I must not know much about women.....

See its all about THEM. My question is not about what makes THEM want to be intimate, its about women b*tching about men looking and not being faithful, yet withholding affection at home.

Nowhere in my post do I defend or condone men cheating for this or any other reason.

I do, however, find it extremely interesting that while most of the women are ready to tell me how incorrect my post is (in its assumptions), that most of the male replies have been generally agreeable.

The man who gets it routinely at home is happy, doesn't stray, is focused on the homelife / kids and will do anything for their woman.

Yet - the women (again in general) can only correct and tell me how "wrong" I am instead of accept this as true for MOST men.

Answer 1

Most women understand men see sex differently, but to expect some kind of sex every single day, regardless of how she feels is a little selfish too. When you're in a committed relationship, there's this thing called "compromise". She should be able to meet you half way (maybe sex 3-4 times a week), if you're fulfilling her emotional needs.

Answer 2

I empathise with the women, and with the men. In a relationship with a s/o, spouse, problem of each person's needs is going to arise. I do think what is being said here in the question, is overgeneralising. For instance, there are women that want or need a lot of sex. There are men who are not as needy sexually, or as 'highly sexed'. The problem is when two people have needs that are clashing with each other. Those needs change over time, as you get older, your life changes, you have children, your health, work situation, and so on. Needs fluctuate.
Of course, sometimes it is difficult to be all accepting of your s/o or spouse. However, you can still love them. Or you can overtime accept certain things. But if there are things your s/o spouse does that are so abhorrent to you, that you truly cannot live with them; then you aren't well matched. There is also the possibility then, that what he/she is doing is socially unacceptable, or worse. Men and women both get abused in relationships. I really find making such a huge dividing line between what a man needs and what a woman needs to be a hinderance to everyone. I think we all have far more in common, than we have differences. Men and women are more alike than different. We all have human needs.
From personal experience, I know that putting out when your partner needs or wants it, that he still won't be faithful.
It just doesn't work that way. Men still stray, still cheat, even if you give them what they want, need.
When anyone is out with someone else, it is extremely rude to be eyeing up all the other people, male or female. Pay attention to the person you are out with. You can go out by yourself or with friends to do your eyeballing. Why do it in front of someone you care about, and make them feel hurt? Women do the same thing. Flirt with other men when a guy takes them out. It's rude and mean. It goes both ways.
It's selfish of anyone to expect your needs to be always taken care of, especially if your partner isn't into it right then, or at all, whether you're a man or a woman. I know men that don't have porn collections as well. And men that do not look at other women when they take a woman out. If they had a porn collection, I'd know. I think we all ought to stop generalising about what is a man, and what is a woman; and stop expecting people to play particular roles. Roles that we ourselves have envisioned in our minds, and the other person will never live up to it; like a wife equals this, and a husband equals that.

Answer 3

Bottom line, don't lump all 3+ billion women on the planet together and scold us as if we all think and behave the same. Some of us have more of a clue about men than you apparently think (thankyouverymuch).

And with re: to your "BOTTOM LINE" I've known guys who got all the sex they asked for at home, and cheated anyway. Although your excuse for them may be a common one, it definitely isn't the only excuse they use.

Men aren't opposite of women, they're just different. A lot of us actually have a fair understanding of them and how they think/act even if we aren't that way ourselves...we don't always get insecure over porn, over him checking out another chick, that he has female platonic friends...and some of us actually dig sex more than our men do.

Some of your points were valid in the cases they apply to, some not...but be careful about making blanket statements because you'll almost always be wrong and thus look foolish. People will spend more time focusing on clearing up the misinformation you post, rather than responding to the intent of your message.

Answer 4

Well this problem has a couple of scenarios.

Cmon, some of you men here get pretty freaking gross over the years...let that belly get bigger, then the man boobs come out..and all this time you are working on a couch butt groove the size of Africa. AND some men get so bloody lazy and lacking ambition in anything....you can almost not even see the trace of a man anymore in them!

However, the women that themselves let it go and gain pound after pound, put those cheetos DOWN and take a shower and do your hair for once! I don't really blame those husbands for looking, I mean if a woman obviously does not care about how she looks..how on Earth can her husband adopt a different philosopy?

I think sex is a BIG component in a relationship, however, getting half-as* sex every day surely does not replace getting it really really good a few of the days in a a week. There are enough holes in walls all over the place, not to mention Handy and her five sisters are always ready to rock if the man needs that kind of release every day.

Answer 5

Although I agree with most of this I will still say that you don't get to cheat just because you're wife doesn't put out enough. That would be like me saying I can cheat because my husband doesn't listen to me talk for 3 hours straight.

I agree men and women are different. Guess what? Most women would put out more if their were treated as a precious friend and partner in life. If you treat us like our feelings are insignificant and then expect us to cook and do your laundry what is the payoff for us!?!?!? In my marriage we have a good understanding of this and we both are getting our needs met. The key is to meet your partners needs not whine about them (after you are sure you're meeting your partners needs then it is quite acceptable to let them know that some of yours aren't being met)! I think this is true for both men and women in every relationship

Answer 6

ok , Im going to address your issues one by one, speaking for myself and not every woman as you have stereo-typed all of us into one.
This is how I feel in regards to your question/statement:
I dont watch Oprah thankyou. I do accept my man, yes we are different but not so different like hes some caveman and I should be drug around by my hair.
If we have things that bother us, we should be able to have an
adult discussion about it, sometimes its hard when your not sure where you stand on an issue but believe me it gets settled. I try to look at all views and go with whats in my heart.
No I dont want my man to look and watch porn as much as you would probably think is normal. Look at it this way, would you be secure with your woman constantly leering at guys, looking at naked guys only (womens porno), God you probably would like it lol.
If I have to"put-out" on demand as you put it to keep my man from cheating, then our marriage has a problem. Fortunately we are both very satisfied in that department, there hasnt been alot of no's on either part.
Lastly, it sounds as if your very unsatisfied with your lack of "physical attention". That is the BOTTOM LINE.
I dont care how long you say you have been married, I dont think you know much at all about women!

Answer 7

I have to say that I agree with you.

There are so many people complaining about things their husbands do and don't do but these are probably things they did or didn't do before they were married.I certainly don't understand what is wrong with men looking at porn, or other woman (as long as their not slobbering on themselves). It's natural for them to look just like we look at male celebrities. I don't understand why the wives don't watch porn with them. They'd be surprised what you can learn from them.

As far as "feeding the need" I'll do anything (within reason) that my husband wants and he does the same for me.

Answer 8

You are so completely out of touch. If only relationships were that simple and formulaic...

I think the question is, when will people start thinking and feeling for themselves, and stop relying on societal norms and cultural myths? Every relationship is different. To generalize that men want sex and women want to cuddle is absurd. Maybe it's that kind of linear, inflexible thinking that's making it very difficult for simple-minded people such as yourself to find a meaningful relationship.

Answer 9

If you have never met a guy that hasnt cheated that got it reguarly you need to make more friends.

Cheating is not a symptom of not getting any, its more of what they can get away with. Ask a lot of cheaters they love bragging about they slept with both partners on the same day.

Kind of defeats your theory.

Answer 10

Ok first of all yes men are men but men need to learn what women need and want so that the women will feel like giving you your little attention you all seek so very badly. In bed and out.