I have called and emailed her almost every month for 5 years. She is now 19 and entering her 2nd year at a private college. She changed her last name to her mother's name when she was 18. By law, I was to pay around $4000 a school year for college. Since the decree stated that I would not have to pay if she publicly disowned me {name change} or refused to aknoledge me, they never came after me for money. Now, after calling her 6 times while she is home from school and not returned my calls, she had the nerve to email my wife and ask what happened to her savings account we had with her. The money was from my side of the famiy and my wifes from birthdays. I know it is her money but she has also not spoken to any of my or my wifes family in 5 years. This includes my mom. DO you think I should give her the money? The account only had $1077 in it in which I put $500 in on my own. I just feel that she could call me and ask for it and not email { a very generic email} and ask me for it.
2007-07-31 07:09:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell your wife to email her back and let her know that you still have it and will also add to it if she would act like a daughter to you.all she has to do is call you and try to see you and try to start a relationship up again with you ,and keep it going.then you would be happy to play the part of provider for someone who appreciates it.
2007-07-31 08:46:43 · answer #1 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry about your relationship with your daughter. I don't know the background, but assume that there is some reason that she hasn't spoken to you for 5 years.
If she hasn't asked you to stop calling or e-mailing her, then that is a good thing.
You are the adult in the relationship here. She is not yet an adult even if legally she is allowed to be considered one. You need to demonstrate proper behavior by giving her what is hers. I would recommend writing her a letter, including the name of the bank where the account is in her name and the account number. This gives you a reason to ensure that she gets the letter (you have to secure the information contained within) and gives you a chance to apologize for any problems she may feel you have caused.
Then keep up with the cards, letters and phone calls, but perhaps tone it down to every other month or so.
You have shown her, by not supporting her college, that she is unimportant to you unless she responds to you and has your name. Shame on you for that. Kids learn by the examples placed in front of them, and you can only teach her by being the better person in this situation.
My sister refused to talk to my dad for a long time. Eventually, she came to see the light after years of his sending her cards on her birthday and Christmas, and after she found religion. She was there for him a lot toward the last months and years of his life. You owe it to your daughter to stay the course and not let her childish motives cause you to push her away.
2007-07-31 14:23:02 · answer #2 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have a very guilty conscious to go to all that trouble for 5 years . I assure you it would not take this for me to drop her like a hot potato . If a child turns away with such animosity, there is a reason and if time cannot heal the wound, then not much can be done about it .
The money you speak about is a paltry sum . I would have treated it like poison and thrown it at her years ago . Don't treat it like you are holding it hostage. You have to be begged to give it to her ?
I am sure she will develop into a strong , educated and self sufficient young lady even without your input .
2007-07-31 14:35:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her the money and let it go.
I don't believe that 14 year olds never speak to either of their parents again unless their parents did something really awful. Just how is it that a 14 year old can leave the family home and not be a runaway? Maybe I'm assuming something here...but I smell something rotten in denmark.
2007-07-31 14:15:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This scenario is so loaded with issues that go WAY beyond a lousy thousand dollars.
14 year old that disowns her father ?
Father's that put conditions on supporting their own child ?
Withholding money for acknowledgment of love ?
The pain here is dripping like blood off a knife.
2007-07-31 14:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by d4dave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very sinister play.
You're using the money as a way to force her to speak to you again.
Give up and give her the money, minus the $500 if you can do so legally. While you;re at it, accept the fact that your daughter wants nothing to do with you and move on with life.
2007-07-31 14:26:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some reason she refuses to speak to you. You owe her nothing, especially since she is beyond the age of 18
2007-07-31 14:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think shes still your daughter, and there should be unconditional love there. You shouldn't expect her to ask you for it, there is probably a reason you aren't speaking. Just fork it over.
2007-07-31 14:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give her the money. Don't make her do something that she is not ready to do. She is still very young.
2007-07-31 14:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by pbxgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try a family reunion or something, maybe a get together of some sort. try visiting her at college.
<3 GLiiTER GiiRL
2007-07-31 14:31:30 · answer #10 · answered by icheerx247 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋