When I had my baby I had decided not to breast feed from the begining I just could'nt do it...it felt weird and nasty to me, I don't know why I just relate it to something sexual, I have been molested in the past by two people woman and men I think that's why I feel it's so uncomfterbal. I would never want to hurt my child and believe me that if I felt I was doing my baby harm I would have tried longer but I just thought of all those babies that did not get breast milk for different reasons and are fine besides the way things are now I trust formulas 100%...My point is that all through out my childbirth and first few months I always had people judging me and giving me dirty looks when they new I did not breast feed by choice...I just want to know I'm not like the worst mother in the world.
2007-07-31 07:02:42 · 24 answers · asked by #25 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
and just for the record my kid is fine never has gotten ill other than the common flu
2007-07-31 07:04:43 · update #1
I just wanted to say that you are not alone. While I did (and AM) nursing my children, what you went through is not uncommon.
La Leche League says that when mothers were sexually molested, it can affect their nursing relationship. Even though nursing doesn't feel the same as sexual interaction, some women can't deal with the memories they drag up.
I would urge you to make sure you've dealt with your abuse; women are able to overcome sexual abuse and still nurse their children.
In case you're interested, I linked some information on moms, past sexual abuse, and nursing. It might help you feel like you're not alone.
2007-07-31 07:10:27 · answer #1 · answered by maegs33 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Don't let anyone make you feel like a bad mother....you know you are not! I chose not to breastfeed and am very happy with my decision. I also felt that it had something sexual about it (I was never molestated though)! I have a very happy, healthy, smart, chubby baby. I feel at this point, formula is so close to breast milk. I am a terrible eater so my breastmilk would probably have been very unhealthy, pure sugar. I see friends who breastfeed and I just have so much more freedom (my husband can do it, we can go away for the night, go to weddings, etc.). Plus he sleeps so much longer!
I have no doubt in my mind that I made the right decision and you probably did too!!!
2007-07-31 21:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad. It is your choice. I breast feed my son for a year and really enjoyed the bonding time. I am now pregnant with my second child and am really thinking about not breast feeding at all. Even after a positive experience. My reasons are different, but it is still a choice we must all make as mothers. You did not hurt your child by using formula so please don't let others make you feel like you did.
2007-07-31 14:33:13 · answer #3 · answered by arobe80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear about your haunted past.
As for the breastfeeding. It is entirely up to you whether you breastfeed or not. I know of few people my age who were breastfed as babies, and that was almost 40 years ago, formula has come a long way since then!
However, your reasoning about your breasts being only sexual objects worries me. I can understand that being the case given your history, but that's not a healthy way to view your body, and my suggestion would be to seek out some counseling to help you get back to a good self- and body- image. The fact that you think your breasts are there for a man to derive pleasure from rather than for the child you birthed to derive nutrition from is just not a good viewpoint.
I am not judging you IN THE LEAST, I am just saying that it might be healthier for you as a woman to have your own body back and you may require some therapy to do this.
As for people judging you or giving you dirty looks, believe me there are plenty of breastfeeding women out there who get the same thing. We women are expected to carry and birth our children yet we can't catch a break when it comes to our decisions! Darned if we do and darned if we don't.
You are NOT a bad mother, not in the least. You are doing what you think is best for you and for your child, that is always commendable. But in my opinion, you could probably be a better mother if you get yourself counseling and finally get healed from your troubled past.
Congratulations and best of luck to you!
2007-07-31 14:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by shannon ! 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Breast Feeding or choosing not to breast feed is your choice!
I tried with my oldest and he spent a month in the NICU so it was really hard.... ended up only lasting like two weeks.... then I tried to express milk and I don't know but that hurt like hell! Then came my youngest and I really didn't try at all with him straight to the bottle..... Now I am expecting my third and I'm not going to try with him/her unless there's something that makes me think it would be better for him/her! Good Luck and don't feel bad formulas is so advanced now you would not be able to tell the difference between a formula baby or a breast milk baby! Do what works for you!
2007-07-31 14:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
don't feel bad about not breastfeeding. Some women just can't do it, whether for physical reasons or personal. As long as you bond with your baby and your baby gets proper nutrients, you are fine. It is only an extra boost of natural immunities that the baby would get if you breastfed. You baby will just have to create these immunites the natural way, by getting sick and getting over it, but that's why we have an immune system.
Be proud to be a mother and that you are taking everything into consideration for the benefit of your baby.
2007-07-31 14:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by Malina 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each woman has their own way of wanting to do things..for their own reasons or beliefs. I didn't produce milk w/my first child and wanted to try to breastfeed and my daughter would turn her head when i put her up there. She was a formula baby and she has had no ear infections, health problems, weight problems and is fine and is almost 2. If people give you crap bout it tell them to shut up and shove it. It's your baby not theres so they have no say so. If they think formula is bad..tell them well obviously not tooo bad if stores still sell it. You do what you want and what you feel is right and don't let the other people bring you down.
Congrats on bundle of joy!
2007-07-31 14:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by shortysml 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are not the worst mother in the world! Breastfeeding is a personal choice! There are a lot of people in the world who believe it is the only way to go, and more power to them! It isn't their body, and it isn't their decision. You obviously have a healthy baby, and you did the right thing for the two of you at the time. You can only do what you are comfortable doing, and there are alot of women in the world that can relate to you. Quit beating yourself up about it! Congratulations on that baby!
2007-07-31 14:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by Amy B 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If it makes you feel any better, I DID choose to breastfeed both my girls, and breastfed moms are basically shunned from public places. Even if you cover up and nurse your child discreetly, the fact that people know that UNDERNEATH the blanket and the baby, there's an exposed boob, makes them uncomfortable. Can't tell you how many times friends and even family (well, in-laws) asked me to nurse in a different room - like the public restroom or out in the car! Talk about judgement.
Please. If it makes them uncomfortable, THEY can take THEIR meals in the bathroom.
2007-07-31 14:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Isnt it wonderful that we, as women, have a choice! It's a personal decision and no one has the right to judge you.
I can understand why you've made the decision not to breast feed. It's not worth stressing over these ignorant people. You should feel sorry for them. They have to look down their noses at others in order to feel good about themselves.
2007-07-31 14:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by rebecca d 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋