I still contribute to the bills though (I have some money in the bank) I figured I would take a break from working to figure out somethings first (Im clinically depressed, manic depression) I ended a relationship with my ex about 6 months ago and and have a child from that relationship, and then I meet this new guy, we click and now we live together, everything is pretty awesome except for the fact that my new guy gets annoyed that I dont go t work every morning like he does, yet I still help with rent and food...I will go back I just dotn want to yet and I dont exactly have to...how can I tell him to chill out about this?
2007-07-31 06:50:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is 37 and im 27.
2007-07-31 06:50:52 · update #1
It sounds like you need to slow down a little! You just ended a relationship 6 months ago and you are already living with someone else? If you have the money to take care of yourself, then why do you need to be living with someone? This guy is probably thinking that you are looking for a free ride. That is somewhat understandable. He probably thinks you won't ever go to work and he will eventually be stuck with all the financial responsiblility. If you want this realtionship to work, then at least get a part-time job so he knows that you are serious. If you are depressed, working outside your home may help with that too. Good luck!
2007-07-31 06:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to chill out. Tell him what the problem is. Let him know how uncomfortable he makes you feel when he brings up you not working. It's not like your not contributing to the bills. Not to mention you haven't even been with him that long for him to make a judgement call about you working or not. you have to worry about you and your child. Let him know you dont mind working but you need some time right now to figure things out. Maybe he is afraid that after the money runs out on your end it will be up to him to make ends meet. Perhaps you should reassure him and at the same time let him know that even though your not working you are contributing to the household income and that you plan to go back to work once you have figured things out.
2007-07-31 13:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you give him a time schedule and maybe that will help ease his anxiety over it. You know, something like, I need to take a break for the next 4 to 6 weeks, and then at that point, I will begin looking for a new position. Reassure him that you can still contribute to the household during that time period. Probably what he is worried about is that you may always have an reason to not go back to work, or he is concerned that you might not able to ever go back to work. It may scare him to think that he might have to be financially responsible for both you and your child.
2007-07-31 14:04:34 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's what happens when you let somebody move in without having any commitment. Sorry.
Wow....nobody could possibly be as clinically depressed as I am, but you know what? I can't take time off work to "figure things out" because I also have a child and I have to SUPPORT HIM. Go to your doctor and get some Lexapro. That's what I did. I can't imagine being holed up in the house all the time is going to make you less depressed.
2007-07-31 14:20:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
regaurdless of the age difference, you just need to tell him, "look, sorry your irritated, but I am contributing with my shre, I want to take some time off, i need it emotionally, and you need to be supportive. If you can't be, then maybe we need to reevaluate this arrangment." You are a mother and sounds like you are stressed and needing some time, totally understandable and I would ask him also, why he is so irritated and why he is having trouble understanding that you need a little time to deal with your depression and adjust to the changes you have gone through. See what his answer is, but he is not your gaurdian, he does not have the right to make you feel like this, especially if you are not relying on his money. He needs to be supportive of your emotional needs and also understand that clearly the 2 of you moved fast and are already living together, you are adjusting. Reasure him that you are not a mooch and don't intend on being a house ridden mother from here out and don't intend on relying on his income. Good luck
2007-07-31 14:07:43 · answer #5 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't need to chill out, YOU need to get off your ***.
It's not about you contributing to rent and food, you gotta do something for your child as well as yourself.
Doing something other than staying home and being depressed (like working, or volunteering) may help you out of your depressive state.
If money isn't an issue, why don't you move out and get your own place if you're tired of hearing him ***** and moan?
2007-07-31 14:01:04 · answer #6 · answered by JMC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. If he doesn't understand ... Leave him! If he doesn't give you the support now then he's NOT worth it! It's OK to be alone and figure things out first and not get into another live in relationship! Good Luck!
2007-07-31 13:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by MarkyMarkC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM???? WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM YOU. YOU HELP HIM, SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? I DON'T FEEL YOU GET A LOT MORAL SUPPORT FROM HIM. JUST TELL HIM THAT, THAT YOU WILL GO BACK TO WORK, BUT RIGHT NOW YOU ARE NOT READY AND DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU CAN WORK RIGHT NOW. IF HE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THEN, JUST MOVE ON ABOUT YOUR DEPRESSION TRY NOT TO STAY HOME ALL DAY AND GO OUT HAVE FUN, I KNOW IT CAN BE HARD TO HAVE FUN BUT TRY. GOOD LUCK!
2007-07-31 14:17:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression is normal when you're in the process of a divorce. You should probably boot the new guy and try life on your own for a while.
2007-07-31 13:56:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Ask him why he's upset that you don't work if you are still contributing financially.
COMMUNICATE. If you two can't talk about things and work them out, the relationship doesn't have much of a future.
2007-07-31 13:55:36 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋