A woman being submissive in a few areas...good or bad?

Question

I was reading a question here this morning and was surprised a little by a few ladies reaction. I was married once for eight years and lost my best friend and wife to an illness. She was warm and fun-loving as it gets, always smiling and tender, and also knew how to let her hair down..lol She did go out of her way for me and in many ways was submissive to me and it was wonderful. Unlike "some" men, I did not abuse this gift that she gave me. Example: If there was something we had to make a decision on and we could not agree, she always left it up to me, and I always asked for her input. She made dinner five nights a week and the other two nights I took her where she wanted to go. Simply put...I was the man of my house and when I said this is how it will be...well...it was done. I treated her like a princess at home and "always" in public. I never stared at other women in her presence, and always opened her door...etc. Some women say they have a problem being this way on here, do you??

And yes...she was submissive in the bedroom as well, and I "always" made sure with "communication" that she was happy. Romance, was a two way street!

Answer 1

Old fashioned as apple pie! I love it! I definitely agree that this is how things should be! I really think a lot of marriages would be a lot happier if there weren't such a power struggle sometimes. Here's the key though....... I want my guy to be the king of his castle but rule it with a gentle hand when needed and a rough hand where I like it! LOL! Sounds like you did just that!

Answer 2

actually this is very much how our marriage is. My husband is kind, attentive and my very best friend. I have no issue submitting to someone when they treat me with respect. We had a few years where he abused this a little but we were both young and dumb! LOL I make dinner 7 nights a week but he always offers to help with anything he can. This morning I caught him doing the laundry even though he knew I would be doing it today. The only thing I can say about these women you are talking about is they probably have never known a man who treats them this well. They don't know that there is actually a pay off to this kind of relationship. There is a book out called love and respect and it talks about when a man feels that respect he is much more likely to meet a womans needs for love and affection. This is 100% true in our marriage! I will happily treat my husband the way he wants to be treated because he does the same for me. The other thing you have to remember is that women view the word submissive as a bad word LOL just use it at all and women freak out and call men pigs

Answer 3

Personally... That's how I prefer things to be. He looks after me and the members of our household (which at the moment is just our unborn baby and our cats) and I take care of the home and the things that go on inside. Our decision-making system sounds like the one the two of you had. We've only been married for a year and a half, and we're both still very young (20 and 23), but we've found that this lifestyle works for us, even if we are still working out the little kinks.
He's the head of our household and as such his first responsibility is to look after me--not to boss me around, like some guys on here think. He takes great care of me and makes sure I'm happy, and in return I give him the respect he deserves. I never really thought of it as submissiveness before, but that's pretty much what it is.

Answer 4

No it isn't bad. As long as the reasons for wanting a submissive woman isn't so you can manipulate and boss about anyway. I think that guys who want an all round submissive girl are only attracted to them because they are insecure about their own authority and ability to be assertive. Not that their is anything wrong with that either.... and the other side of the card is that you want a woman who is submissive in a fetish sort of way!

Answer 5

Not at all. It is the way God intended it to be. My husband in my king. I want him to come home to his castle and know he is loved and respected. We don't always agree, however, I respect him and if a tough decision is to be made and we cannot agree on it, then I trust him to make the best decision he can because I know that he puts my interests right up there with his own.

I think for many women they think it is a submissive issue but I think it is a trust issue. It is easy for me because I totaly trust my husband. He does not abuse my submissiveness or my trust.

He is my king but I am his queen and he makes sure I know it. God is his king, therefore I am quite comfortable being submissive to hubby.

Your wife was very blessed!

Answer 6

I think women tend to freak a little when you use the word submissive. I don't really think of myself as submissive. To myself and I believe many other women when we hear submissive me get chills up our spines (and not the good kind). When I hear submissive I remember myself with my ex...*shudder*. I was degraded every day, all day. I was not given a choice but to do all the "womanly duties" and it was never appreciated. He made terrible decisions all the time and even though they very much affected mine and my childrens' lives, my opinion meant nothing and I was repromanded for even attemting to give it, because I was meant to be the "good little woman", seen and not heard. That is the problem, I think. Perhaps if we were more careful to chose to be with a man who's life and character and decision making skills we respected and trusted, following him would be a bit less degrading. I don't think it's degrading to trust and care for my man now. I never feel like I don't have a choice or that my opinions aren't valid because I have chosen him and he has chosen me. I wouldn't have chosen him if I didn't respect and care for him enough to follow him wherever we may go. I am his princess and he makes sure i know it. He knows that a happy woman is a happy household, and feels it is his responsibility to see to my happiness. It is up to us as women to chose men who will not make us feel bad and resent being "submissive"

Answer 7

Well, I agree most with the first answer; most of her points are true. I personally dont let him decide things we cant agree on, if we cant decide then its usually my way thats the final decision. We can take care of ourselves but we enjoy taking care of each other. He is not my king, he is my husband. My marriage isnt based on religion, its mutual love and respect. We can both lead and submit when necessary.
I think many women equate submission with being a doormat and thats not really the case. You can give in without losing yourself. You dont have to win or be in charge of everything - so its a choice between right or happy. They choose being right.

Answer 8

That sounds like the ideal marriage to me. I think that women are becoming too masculine in their attitudes and actions and in doing so they emasculate their men. Traditional gender roles exist for a reason - it works. Being a submissive wife in a few areas does not mean that my husband and I are not equal partners. We are - there are some areas where he really takes the lead and other areas where I take the lead. When it comes to decisions, we talk it out, but I ultimately will follow his lead. On the other hand, I think he would say the same thing depending on the situation. I think if more women would work harder at being feminine in their role in marriage and realize the power that their femininity holds, more marriages would be successful.

Answer 9

When I married my husband, I was the most unsubmissive woman around! My parents told my husband that if we ever got divorced, they would take him! BUT with his understanding, love and gentle ways, he has in a way made me a very submissive wife. AND I am so proud of it. How could I not be to a man that treats me like a queen and even told me that he had me on a pedestal? I love to have my door opened for me, my chair pulled out, my drink refilled by him when we go to a serve yourself place, and babies me when I had my children. I could go on and on but I pride myself in teaching my daughters how to treat their husbands. I also love it when we can't come to a decision and he has the last word! This way if something goes wrong, he has no one to blame but himself...OK so I still need a little work, lol.

Big lesson?- you can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.

Answer 10

I, most certainly do not have a problem with this type of relationship. This is exactly what my husband and I share. It works very well and its the most erotic and sensual type of lifestyle...I would recommend it to everyone!

My husband is the man of his house and that's the way it should be...I think too many women out there are trying too hard to wear the pants and then wonder why the marriage isn't working.