My weight is getting out of control, but how can I lose weight if my husband always wants to eat?

Question

I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) about 8 years ago. I am 30 years old now. PCOS does cause weight gain, hormonal imbalance and insulin resistance. I assume that I have had it for quite some time because I really began to gain weight when I turned 18. But I noticed it was really getting out of hand when I turned 21 or so. I am 5'2" and weigh about 198 pounds. The weight is most noticeable in my face, breasts and stomach, although I have always had large breasts. I do not exercise at all and my diet consists of a lot of sugar (candy like lifesavers, starburst, skittles, cotton candy, etc.). I am addicted to sugar. I drink lots of kool-aid and have started a soda habit now. I honestly don't eat a lot of food. I eat twice a day but a lot of times I am not hungry for dinner, I just eat because my husband will make a big deal about me skipping a meal. He says that there is no way I couldn't be hungry after only eating lunch for the day. But it's true ...

If I offer to cook him something for dinner he will get upset because he feels we should eat dinner together. He says it’s all in my head. He has suggested (in a nice way) that we workout together. I tell him we need to change our diet and he says he is not going to give up the foods he likes. He said the key is to exercise. But he can say that because he’s 6’2” and about 260 pounds. He doesn’t really look fat at all to me. When I suggest that we have something light like salad he snares his face and refuses to eat it. Honestly, I don’t eat a lot of fast food. On occasion I do, but we do eat out at restaurants a lot. I don’t eat a lot of fried foods. I love vegetables, but my number one problem is I hate water. I thrive off of sweets. If I can’t get him to change to a healthier dinner menu, then how can I lose weight? I am too tired to cook two separate meals and he will probably get mad if I do.

May I add that my husband's only concern is what we're having for dinner. It almost drives me insane when I get home from work because he is going to be eating Pringles, a bowl of cereal and cookies. Either one or all of them in one sitting. Then after that, he may eat a sandwich and he's still asking me what we're going to eat. You've already eaten. Can't you just be satisfied with that? Before you know it we are at a restaurant at 7:30 or 8:00 p.m. ordering food. Then we come straight home and lie down on it.

Answer 1

you have to decide if it's worth it to drastically change your lifestyle if you want to lose weight. and you have to decide if you can do it without your husband's support. is he overweight, too? perhaps one of the reasons he doesn't want you to change your eating patterns is because it would make him feel insecure if you lost weight and he didn't. the two of you need to have a serious talk about this, or your marriage could be in jeopardy. explain to him that you want both of you to be healthier so that you can be together and enjoy life together for a long time.

basically, you HAVE to cut out all that sugar. sugar is just empty calories that add up quickly and leave you feeling unsatisfied because they don't nourish your body. switch to diet soda, asap.

also, eating out a lot makes it hard to eat right. but when you do eat out, skip the appetizer, drink water, and order a lean protein (chicken or fish, for example) with vegetables. have a salad, too, with a light dressing.

you must eat breakfast to lose weight. when you wake up, have a bowl of whole grain cereal (oatmeal, total, etc.). have some fruit for a snack midmorning. have a light lunch. have another healthy snack (fruit, yogurt, etc.) before dinner, and a healthy dinner. if you want dessert, make some sugar free jello or get sugar free fudgsicles (they're actually pretty good).

lastly, you have to move everyday. ease yourself into it. you don't have to run out and join a gym now. start like this: this week, walk once around the block everyday. next week, add another lap. continue until you feel that you're ready for something more strenuous. getting started is the hardest part.

it also really helps if you have a "buddy" to lose weight or exercise with. do you have a friend or coworker that wants to lose weight, too, that could be a support system for you if your husband won't?

good luck!

One more thing: If you're African-American (as it looks from your avatar) you have a significantly higher risk of getting diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and cancer than other racial and ethnic groups. A poor diet and no exercise only makes these problems worse!

Answer 2

I can identify with your sugar addiction. There was a time when I got most of my calories from sugar--and when I was hungry, all I craved were sweets. I really think my body had gotten so used to getting all its energy in the form of sugar and had become dependant on it. I don't know much about the physiology of addiction, but I think this qualifies. I decided I needed to break the addiction, so I went a MONTH without any candy, desserts, soda, sugary drinks--anything with a concentration of refined sugar. The first few days were awful, but after that it got easier. When the month was over I allowed myself to eat sugar again, but I've never gone back to the point I was at before.
I'd say the sugar is probably the key to your problem. Try to break the addiction by going cold turkey for a week or two (it's probably not necessary to go a whole month like I did), then when the intense cravings are gone, allow yourself candy as a TREAT, not as a routine snack. As far as the meals, I'm guessing that they're not the source of the problem. Just eat moderate portions.

As for exercise, they say it's the key to sustainable weight loss. If you've never really been into exercise, start with something low-impact or non-impact. (My dad took up swimming when he was about 45 and lost 30 pounds.) Your doctor can give you much better advice than anybody on this board on how to begin an exercise routine. I just got back into jogging two months ago, and I'm amazed at how much more energy I have these days.

You're fortunate to have a husband who also wants to exercise. It can be a great activity for a couple to share. Good luck and have fun!

Answer 3

Hi hon... i'm sorry about your weight gain -- i had surgery last year, and i have gained some weight, also.

I have found that eliminating all the sugar (you said you like sweet drinks) really helps to stop the weight gain.

If you can get OUT and walk 4 times a week for about 30 minutes or so, you will find you have a little more energy for other things.

You can eat meals -- just limit yourself to smaller portions. You can probably get away with larger portions of proteins -- like chicken, eggs, cottage cheese, for example.

If you are concerned about your weight, maybe your doctor can recommend a dietician? sometimes they have helpful suggestions and can even see you for a series of appointments to help you get on the right track?

hugs

P.S. you don't have to eat if your'e not hungry. You might just sit with your husband while he eats, and have a talk and a glass of water, if that's all you want... take care.

Answer 4

First of all eating only two meals a day is very unhealthy and you will not lose weight this way.A couple of small meals a day keeps your metabolism working. Also cut the sugar out of your diet. A little sweet here and there is ok, but not a sugar based diet! Definetly stop drinking soda and made switch to an alternative sweetener ,like splenda. ( I find that a very tasty sugar substitute.)
Also, you need to start exercising! It is the only way you will see real results and it will make you a lot healthier physically and emotionally. Get a gym membership and gradually build up to 4 days a week.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

I feel for you, I was at one time at a weight of 265 lbs at 5'1. I was polycystic, hypertensive and type II diabetic. pcos doesnt cause obesity though, the insulin resistance is a result of being overwieght, and in turn causes you to process suger inproperly compounding the weight problem-a vicious circle. No promises, but hun, if you get the wieght under control the other two co-morbidities will most likely dissapear. In May of 2004 I under went a gastric bypass, within the first month after surgery I was off all meds for my bp and diabetes. Surgery isn't the answer for everyone, and unfortunatly not even an option with most insurance plans, but it changed my life. Some might call it an easy way out, no way! I've given up more then most dieters can dream...but it's all come back to me tenfold. I can play with my son, cross my legs, tie my shoes and all the other little things people take for granted that were hard or impossible for me before. I think your hubby probably wants to support you, let him. If he wants to work out together, do it! What have you got to lose? As for not likeing to drink water...I'm with you on that, but there are all kinds of flavored water alternatives out there, Propel for example tastes a heck of a lot like kool-aid, and Fresca is a super refreshing soda that's both caffine and suger free naturally. Try checking out this website, tons of info and success stories, best of luck to you!

www.obesityhelp.com

Answer 6

Ok first off, I would say to not worry about what he eats if he is too stubborn to change it. It will be healthier for you if you eat dinner with him instead of snacking all day. That way, it will help your weight and satisfy him. Start working in vegetables into your meals and replacing butter with olive oil and use seasonings so he will still enjoy the food and not notice you are using healthy things. When you go out to eat, let him order whatever he wants and you just order small portions of healthy things. Eliminating all sodas in your diet will help immensely. Also cut bakc on the sugars, try only eating one piece of candy to cut the urge or just dont buy any. You cant eat if its not there. Since you dont like water, try tea or get the propel or crystal lite packets to add to your water. It tastes good and sweet but has no calories. Drink a lot and often. And instead of eating a lot at meals, try spreading out your food during the day some your meals are smaller. This will increase your metabolism! Try to eat 2-3 hours before going to bed. Ok i think i covered everything, good luck!

Answer 7

Sugar turns into fat if its not used up so stop eating so much sugar. Take it one step at a time though. Everyday begin to eat less and less until your habits gone. When you're habit is gone, you should treat yourself to sugar once in a while so you don't get addicted again.

And your husband is right about not skipping meals. It's really unhealthy, even if you dont feel hungry sometimes. If you wanna lose weight though, try eating small meals throughout the day instead of bigger meals at lunch and dinner.

Also begin to excercise. Your schedule is probably pretty busy but try to put in like 30 mins every morning. Don't excercise at night and dont eat before you sleep. It's hard work but it'll pay off so don't give up and good luck.

Answer 8

This is your health you're talking about, your hubby is a grown man so start taking better care of yourself and he'll do what he needs to do.

First: Stop skipping meals. That slows down your metabolism so is a culprit in your weight gain (I topped out over 230 yrs ago and I'm 5'6" so I can relate to your weight issue).

Next: No more buying junk food. If hubby wants it, he can go get him something. If you don't have it in the house you're less likely to be tempted.

Eat a healty well-balanced diet. That would include lean meat, fresh fruits and veggies, complex carbs, healthy fats, and lots of water (flavor it with crystal light if you want, get off the sugar-loaded kool-aid). If hubby doesn't like what you prepare for dinner, he can run out and grab a burger...stop cooking to suit his desires while slowly killing yourself. He can stick his nose up at the healthier food and go hungry or he can eat it. You don't have to eat just salad for a meal to be healthy or tasty.

In addition: Definitely get on a fitness program. You should work up to at least 1 hour of exercise 5 days a week. Aerobic exercise to burn calories and lose weight, and toning exercises to firm your muscles. The more muscle you have, the faster your metabolism...but you cannot bulk up because you are a female so don't worry about that.

Start taking care of you and stop making excuses. Your life will be longer and the quality of it better if you get your weight under control, and save the sweets and junk food for an occasional treat. Trust me, I LOVE the stuff and would be a complete junk food junkie if I could...but I'd rather be healthy, fit, and wear my size 8 clothes than go back to 22s.

Good luck!

Answer 9

It sounds like you already know what the problems are here. Now you need to find a way to commit to yourself and if your husband won't support your efforts then he's got a problem.
He's right about exercise being key.
And you shouldn't skip meals. But you do need to take a serious look at what you are eating. You need to kick the sugar habit and you know it. Eating at restaurants is not helping you.
A good book that makes a lot of sense nutrition-wise is the South Beach diet. It explains the nutritional qualities of foods.

You need to decide that you are worth it. That your health is the most important thing you have and the healthier you are now the better off you'll be later.

Answer 10

you can always cook something for him to eat and you can cook something health for your self.

It time to cut down the sugar. and you need to be on diet if you do not wanted to end up having diabetes by age 35.
Join the gym. Tell your husband you do not like way you look and you wanted to lost weight.

Weight can gain into depression.
Some people eat and gain weight is because depression or something is wrong. Or you should talk to your doctor for about losing weight.

You should be eating small meals. NO skipping meals. Eat more fruits and veggie. Do not eat fatty food. Like pork chop or use fatty oil or eat bacon.
if you going to drink soda drink diet once in while.
and drink less sugar orange juice.
There so much out there it say reduces fat or fat free try all that. Eat whole wheat bread and pasta.
You do not have to follow your husband eating habit. You got your own eating habit.
Just remember eat at less five small meals breakfast, snack or fruit and lunch and snack or yogurt and then small dinner.
No junk food.
Try to controller your eating habit.
You do not have to eat what your husband eating. When he eat just think of how much calories there is and how much one thing can make you gain few pounds..
And if you like salad. put the salad dressing on side.
if you put on the salad you get more calories.
And remember go for walk and if you need to go food shopping take longer time..
And cold winter go shovel if there is snow or go window shopping.
And summer go for walks outside. And if you need to mail box walk there. go swimming at pool. that would help. and you know you can do it...
start get tone up your muscles and work out...
You just need someone to push and support you for all the diet stuff...