For Married Believers/Christians & Unbelievers?

Question

If you are a very committed Christian, and the person you want to be with is really a nominal/newly interested believer ... it is a very bad idea to be satisfied with that if God is incredibly integrally important to you? Does anyone have negative or positive experiences with that? Could you offer mature, realistic advice?

Answer 1

If you both are committed to growing with God and your relationship with him its OK.

My wife was a dedicated Christian and I wasn't so much. I could tell that I drug her down a bit in the beginning. Now we are growing our relationship with him. I am a newly recommitted Christian.

If he isn't really dedicated to want to grow or shows that he isn't interested in getting to know and love him more. Do not bother. He will drag you down and thats not the way to go. You may love him but God is not going to give you somebody who isn't going to help you grow in the long run.

Answer 2

I think it depends entirely on what you and the other person are willing to accept. If you can't accept anything short of the same devotion to god that you have, then it's probably a bad idea to be with a person who is only a marginal believer or a non-believer. If this disposition will constantly upset you and make you wish it was different, the relationship will suffer.

But if you feel you can accept the other person as they are, and the extent of their faith (or the lack thereof) doesn't bother you - then there's nothing wrong in pursuing the relationship. A friend of mine is very involved in the Russian orthodox church, and her husband is an agnostic. She does her thing, he does his, it has never caused a problem for them. But it wouldn't have worked out if she was constantly trying to "convert" him, or if he tried to prevent her from taking the kids to church. Both people have to be tolerant and respectful.

Answer 3

My advice is to maintain a friendship -only relationship with this man while allowing him to learn and grow in the Lord. It is not for you to teach him and help coach him along. He needs a man in his church to mentor him. You should keep your time with him in public or group places. Spending time alone with him - such as a private bible study - could be dangerous as you are both attracted to each other. Also, you have to be careful of his intentions. If you are as serious in the Lord as you say, he may realize that the only way for him to get next to you is if he too feins being that interested. In a general rule, men are not as open to the spirit as women - because they don't have the intuition that we have. If he's only after sex, he could use God as a way to get it and then when the deed is done he'll be gone. Trust me, I've seen this time and again. That is why I say maintain a casual frienship. If it's meant to be more, God will move and grow the relationship to what He wants it to be. Sometimes God will start a work and then we humans get in the mix and mess it up. Just let God do what He's going to do. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

We were both very committed to God. The only reference I know it the verse that warns Christians "don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers". A newly interest believer is a believer so i think a very committed believer would find that acceptable.

Answer 5

I'm not married, but I am a young 20 year old Christian who as newly rediscovered the faith that I had as a child. I went through a few years as a teenager wondering whether God was really there, and if He was, did He really take an active role in my life. I've come to discover that He is always present, whether I acknowledge His presence or not.

The way that I would approach the situation that you've described is to be strong and proud in my faith, profess it willingingly, and express an interest in helping your partner grow in their faith. You ought to be able to express beliefs and opinions between each other, even if there is disagreement. The best thing you can hope for is to show them the path that you've chosen, do your best to guide them in faith, and in the end, leave it to them to decide for themselves. If you push too hard, it can be detrimental to a new believer.

Answer 6

When hubby and I were dating, I was very involved in church and God is indeed an integral part of my life. I have to say that our relationship became very physical and he totally rocked my world.

Later he asked me to move in with him and told me he would never get married again. I was so crazy about him that I did it. I know I was sinning and it was wrong but I did it. I quit going to church as how could I be involved with ministry while I was living with this man.

Eventually I decided I could not do it anymore. I prayed about it and decided I was moving out. I made arrangments to meet him for lunch to tell him I was moving out. That I still loved him but could not grieve God any longer.

Before I could even get started, he told me he wanted to talk to me about something so I let him go first. He asked me to marry him. I was so shocked that at first I said no because I know how he felt about marriage.

He also told me he wanted to go to church with me. I figured he would think I was nuts once he attended my church. He loved it. Now we have been married almost 5 years and church is an important part of our lives. We pray together and he is such an awesome husband who loves God and I know that he is a blessing and gift from God.

Pray about it. yes we are to be equally yoked. Just because he is a new believer doesn't mean he is any less a Christian. Talk about your beliefs and the importance of your relationship with God. Let him know that God must come first in your life and marriage. After all, if God is first, all else will fall into place.

Both of you should get involved in ministry at some level in the church and amke sure your relationship is developed on solid ground. Prayers and blessings.

Answer 7

I have a brother who is an atheist. His wife is a committed Christian. She takes the children to church every week. Her husband is good enough to support her. He actually even goes to Christmas Eve and Easter services with her so that the children know he cares about her enough to attend holidays as a family. The children are teens now. Two of the three go to Youth group and church regularly, the third is in college and not currently attending church, but when asked says he is still a believer and worries about his father. But the marriage has worked through mutual RESPECT.

Answer 8

I have been in those shoes and still might be. I know that as a Christian it's really hard to find someone that belives just like you do and you certainly can't force your religious belives on other people. this would not be fair to whom you are with. But you can make a choice to be with someone that belives as close to what you belive as possible. This is what most people so anyway. It's important to be with people whom belive the way you feel since when we are around good people then it rubs off on us so to speak and same with bad people. Anyone can tell you some horror stories about being arounf someone that was bad news. they might have ended up regretting this to. this is what it means in the Bible when Jesus tells us to not be unequally yolked. It is important to be arounf good people so that they can help us to remain good ourselfs. When we place ourselfs around negative people then negative things might happen to us. I truly believe this with all my heart and I have seen it with my own life many times. So if you believe in God then yes, it is wise to be around believers. Now this does not mean that we have to be mean to other people that do not feel the way we do. We have to treat all people the way we would want to be treated. I agree that there are some people out there that are just plain mean folks all the way around and these people are just unhappy themselfs. Best to not even talk to these people. I don't know who these people are really. You just come into contact ith them sometimes and you probally know what I mean. It's always best to love everyone till they give you good reason not to love them and want to be around them.lol This is sad but this is life. I guess everyone knows this to. This is no secret. Just choose to be around people that have good fruits. If they don't lie, steal, cheat, talk about everyone all the time, gossip, make problems where problems need not be then they may be ok to be around even if you do not believe in the same religion.Just always use good judgement with anyone that you choose to hang out with.We have the ability to know right from wrong. Just don't judge people so harshly. You don't know thier circumstances, only God knows the heart of anyone and everyone. God is the ultimate Judge. I hope this helps out some. God Bless you and have a great day!

Answer 9

I was born and raised a Christian and am still a believer. My fiance was raised a Christian but is now going through some questionable times right now on his faith. I go to church every Sunday, once and awhile he will come with me sometimes he doesn't. We often talk about God and my beliefs and his concerns. I knew about this before I started dating him and as we progressed I realized I am not out to change him or anything, but I do believe God brought me in his life to be a testament of his Greatness and help my fiance come back.

You must pray about and do not fret b/c God will lead you to the right path!

Answer 10

2 Cor. 6 - 7:a million 14 don't be certain inclusive of unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has easy with darkness? 15 Or what solidarity has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? divorce...speedy