It has been 16 months since I found out my now ex was having an affair. In that time I have changed jobs, sold a house and bought a new one, getting used to the fact that I am basically a single mom, surviving on my own...My friends and family are constantly encouraging me to date but I am just not ready yet. Is this normal? I actually like being on my own right now. My ex went the other way - moved in almost immediately with the other woman. Should I start dating even though I feel I am not ready? I do not want to get into a rebound relationship. If you are divorced how long did you wait to date? For those who left their spouse for another and moved on immediately - did the relationship last?
2007-07-31 06:00:34 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You sound very level-headed to me. You do need time to get settled in your new life with your kids and focus on your priorities now (which is probably them and your job). Don't start dating until you feel ready. The friends are encouraging you because they want you to go out and have fun, that's all. You can wait on it, though. You are right. You don't want a "re-bound" relationship.
2007-07-31 06:05:15 · answer #1 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is never easy, even when it's mutually agreed on. You are the only one who knows how you feel and what you want at this point in your life. If you feel that you're not ready to start dating again at this time, then your friends need to respect your decision. I'm sure they're probably just concerned about you and wanting you to "be happy". Well being in a relationship that you're not ready for is not something that will make you happy either. You'll know when you're ready. I waited for almost two years before I started dating again after my divorce. And sure, I had friends trying to set me up on dates and so forth, but they also understood when I talked to them and let them know that I appreciated what they were trying to do, but I wasn't interested at the time. That was years ago, and although I do date some now, I'm not unhappy with my life as a single mom. Enjoy some YOU time... you'll move to the next step when you're ready. It may not be easy at times being a single mom, but you've already survived a lot to be where you are at this time... you'll do just fine. I wish you the best.
Oh, and for the one who made the comment and seems to think that it's all about sex.... if that's the only reason you're dating or in a relationship, I really feel sorry for you.
2007-07-31 13:34:12 · answer #2 · answered by baguzman_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no rule stating you must date after a divorce. If you feel like not dating then don't. Forcus on you and your children. When my husband left me the last thing on my mind was dating. I also didn't want to end up in a rebound relationship..
However out of the blue i met a guy who we started dating and had a great time. Ok it didn't work but we are still good friends. When you are ready to date you will know.. cause the right man will come along
2007-07-31 13:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure because these people love you and they want to see you happy, but only you really know where your heart is, the time you decide to date again is all up to you.
My Honey was divorced for a year before he started dating me, 2 years seperated they didn't have children were married a couple years, now we've been together for 2 years getting married building a house. It depends on you.
But yes, you seem like you know what you want and when.
2007-07-31 13:18:27 · answer #4 · answered by Katrina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I happen to be in that predicament and i was married for 9 1/2 yrs. and I divorced this man.... I am involved in a relationship that i know people would kill to have... i now have 14 years built into this relationship and it is the best!!!! i love my man very much and vice versa. i don't know what i would do now at this point in my life without him. He is my friend my love and my everything. Thank you babe for being there when i most needed you!!! good luck to you. Yes go out and meet new people i am sure you will find someone like i did. Just keep your head up!
2007-07-31 13:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by jpoveda2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOOOO....you date when you are ready. Don't listen to other people. What is right for you, doesn't have to be right for anyone else.
And I went from one marriage right into another...I don't know whether you'd say it worked or not...the marriage lasted for 10 years...but ended on very bad terms.
And after this marriage broke up, I still wouldn't consider myself dating. I'm seeing a friend on occasion but we don't go out on dates. wink wink. So as for getting serious again...I'm just not up to it yet. I still have some serious emotional scars from the last marriage...so I don't want to go into another serious relationship carrying that baggage. That isn't fair for the next person who may choose to enter my life.
2007-07-31 13:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to date until you're ready. It wouldn't be fair to the other person anyway if your heart wasn't really into it in the first place. I took a couple years to myself after my last breakup before I started dating again.
2007-07-31 13:08:19 · answer #7 · answered by John 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i really do not know i get the same thing i even had some one offer sex, because they thought it would cheer me up i am sorry i know i am a guy but i still think that is the wrong reason to make love.
my answer is i think they want us to be Happy and the last time they seen any of us Happy was when we were in love and with some one we love very much, but some thing they do not understand is it takes time to love and get over it too...
2007-07-31 13:34:27 · answer #8 · answered by diz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A better question is why not date...don't u like sex anymore?
2007-07-31 13:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
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2007-08-04 02:26:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋