my husband and i have been married for 20 years-we are 39 & 40. the last 2 years my husband has been taking antidepressants and our sex life has come to almost a complete halt.we have always had an amazing sex life and i really like sex .but the antidepressants have affected his sex drive,he has used pills that help,but we still only have sex every month or so. he almost acts like it is a big inconvience to him to even take the d*** pill. i feel like a sex freak sometimes because it seems like i am always asking and getting turned down.i dont think i could have an affair but i dont know what to do. i am only 39- is my sex life over? he has tried other antdepressants but they dont work ,he has to take them !!!!
2007-07-31 05:19:29 · 27 answers · asked by mybluechicken 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he takes antidep. for depression and anger issues. he does take the ed pills and they work but it is hard to get him to take them. i know he feels less of a man and i try to not push,but having sex 4 times a year bites!!! masturbation only satisfies for so long. i guess i just needed to ventmaybe someone else had some ideas i hadnt thought of yet.
2007-07-31 06:50:13 · update #1
Both of you go see his doctor, and see if he can suggest anything.
I can bet he hates taking that d*** pill, but not for the reason you think. I hate taking my pills, because that is just one thing that has been taken from my control. Still, I have to take them. Something he enjoyed and he remembers enjoying with you is now controlled by a d*** pill. It's frustrating. It's not you, it's the constant reminder that he is not the man he was.
Your sex life is not over, it may have to change some, but it is by no means dead.....not as long as you are both are willing to work on it together.
2007-07-31 05:32:27 · answer #1 · answered by Eric C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about it I wonder if he feels embarrassed about having to take a pill to be intimate with you?
Maybe you can find a compromise? What are some things he would like to have or have time to do but can't right now? Maybe talk to him and say 2 x a week he takes the blue pill and you two have a marathon session - and in exchange 2 x a week he can go and do ____ with you/by himself (whatever the thing is).
Even have a blue and yellow marker and just put the dots on the calendar for each event so anyone looking won't know what they mean. Now you won't get rejected you know on those days it's vroom vroom with your man.
2007-07-31 07:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can discuss with your husband the frustration that you are experiencing but don't make him feel bad about it just let him know how you feel.
I also suggest couples couseling. And my question to you is do you have any idea what is causing his depression?
If your husband doesn't want to take the pills all the time maybe he can participate in pleasuring you with adult toys that way is still involved.
It is probably hard taking the pills because it reminds him of where he is lacking and effects his esteem as it relates to his manhood. So you have to be sensitve as possible but still putting your needs out there.
Good luck. Your sex life doesn't have to over but a lot of compromise from both of you is necessary.
2007-07-31 05:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by nappyhdfatgrl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may seem unconventional, but depending on how open he is, try bringing up the topic of a threesome? With a female or male. Maybe he would be into it. He could be there and participate or not? He might even get turned on by the thought...you never know? And he might like the thought of another pleasing you. You should not just accept that your sex life is completely over :( I don't know your husband, but maybe its worth a shot. I don't really think its cheating if both parties are into it and just view it as exploration. Sex isn't love.
2007-07-31 05:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by red vixen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your situation. I'm 39 years old but never had taken antidepressants in my life. I got 3 young children but sex life is still full of vigor. I attribute it to the natural food supplement I take called Ganoderma or red mushrooms. It's very natural and safe for everyone that improves total health and wellness.
This is the best advise I can give. Alternately, you can take daily beverages like coffee, tea or chocolates with ganoderma. It will help more!
The website below explains what ganoderma or red mushrooms are and what benefits we can get from them?
2007-07-31 07:12:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about this...if the meds can't be changed or stopped to help, then all you can do is talk to him about it and how the infrequency troubles you. Perhaps you can find a compromise that is better than "once every month or so"...I wouldn't find that acceptable myself, but like you cheating wouldn't be an option. For me it would be fix the issue in the marriage, or move on...
2007-07-31 05:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I would have a talk with his doctor, see if he can help, if not, I would suggest masturbation for a temporary cure for yourself until a solution can present itself, I would not consider another relationship before ending one and I think you know what I mean, they are only temporary fixes that could create a bigger problem!! and your setting yourself up to be used and I believe you deserve better than that, I had a similar experience when my spouse had a light stroke 12 years ago, but with patience, and helping with her therapy,things in the bedroom are BETTER than what they was ........UH-HUMMM!! ALL MY HOPES, GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-07-31 05:34:12 · answer #7 · answered by trekkie1972566 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Les trade numbers. My wife is the same way. Just kidding. See if the doctor can put him on a different type medicine so his sex drive isn`t affected. Good luck I know how you feel.
2007-07-31 05:24:01 · answer #8 · answered by ranger33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does he need antidepressants??
if he doesn´t really have any problem, i suggest you to change his pills for something that reminds him of that thing and then you surprise him at home, one day, with some nice lingerie or something that he used to enjoy in the past (handcuffs, nurse fantasy, etc, etc).
perhaps those antidepressants are making him worst instead of helping him. that would explain why he still needs them.
you guys are too young to not have sex..
2007-07-31 06:40:46 · answer #9 · answered by helloy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many meds have this side effect. He needs to discuss this with his doctor and maybe try switching his meds to something else that works but does not have this particular side effect. It will take a little time as these meds do take awhile to take full effect but it will be worth it. Good luck to you both.
2007-07-31 05:33:05 · answer #10 · answered by I love winter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋