Me and my husband were married this month on the 18th (7/18/2007) and about 3 days ago i found out that he had a fiance on the side.The truth is that before we got married i had made him mad and we basically broke up(This break up was less then 24 hours) and his ex-girlfriend who had broke up with him before had came back in his life during this "Break up", she asked him back out.Apparently,he told me that they were at the mall and she saw a ring she wanted and he bought it for her.She turned to him and said "Im taking this as a promise ring" and he just said "Ok". Basically he was engaged to another girl during our marriage. This girl also happens to be his best friend,so they have history. I know this is strange but i told him that we are seperated and that i think he needs to go back out with her, he needs to do this for closure and to make sure or to just see if they really have somthing special, am i making a mistake?
2007-07-31 04:16:00 · 26 answers · asked by Elise G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask him how he wants to deal with this. Ask him if it's okay for you to have a fiance now? (Although I doubt very much if anyone is stupid enough to become a fiance when you are already married.)
Sounds to me, your husband is not man enough to let other people know that he just got MARRIED, and that he loves his wife no matter when he is in fight with her or not. No marriege is perfect, every couple get in fights and arguments. If my husband went out and got engaged everytime we got in arguments, he would be broke.
2007-07-31 04:45:13 · answer #1 · answered by Pluto 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Actually, you are. You're giving him license to see this other woman with your full approval. Even if he decides to stay married to you, he'll get to have his kicks on the side too. What kind of marriage is that? The fact that she's his Ex AND his best friend bothers me too. Why didn't he just marry her if they were so great together? She left him for a reason and then she got back together with him for a reason. I'd want to know what those reasons are.
He married you. He could have married her, but he married you. Yet he bought a ring for another girl? No matter what his reasons for that are, he still had them and then came back to you. Seriously. Get into counseling and tell your husband he is NOT permitted to date another woman while you're married. Counseling will help the both of you figure out if you're going to be able to stay married, but by throwing him at another woman, you risk ruining whatever chances you had of being married and happy.
Good luck.
2007-07-31 04:26:25 · answer #2 · answered by Top Alpha Wolf 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no right or wrong way to deal with infidelity but this scenario has got to be the strangest way to deal with it that I've seen yet.
I would be annulling the marriage from the 18th and let this guy go, seriously. If it can happen on a little "break" then imagine what's going to happen down the road if you guys get into a fight or he's not happy. Get out for your own good.
2007-07-31 04:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are probably making a mistake. However, you've been married such a short time, no kids, etc. I guess it would be no harm, no foul if you want to let it go.
If you want to keep your marriage, and set the ground rules. Tell him if he feels he must go and explore his feelings for the other woman, you won't take him back. If he wants to stay married insist that he break off all contact, and never have any contact with her again. Then the two of you need to start working on your marriage.
2007-07-31 04:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Salinger 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're basically giving him permission to cheat, and that's no good for a "healthy" marriage. In less than 24 hours he went out and bought another girl a ring? That's ridiculous. I'd say he's got a short fuse and an even shorter attention span. Be careful what you allow him to do; he might keep pushing boundaries until they break...
Best of luck.
2007-07-31 04:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by smallcola642 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your dreams are a warning from your subconscious. The dreams are full of fear, caused by a real experience, and fear is an emotion that causes the mind to relive experiences so as to protect oneself in the future by not forgetting what was dangerous for you. Your mind is also working out different scenarios of how to deal with the situation time and time again to find satisfaction in an ending, and satisfaction over what happened may never happen for you. That would be finding good in the affair somehow, and that may just not be realistic for you even though your relationship is now better. So even though your dreams may be painful, remember that your mind is your friend here, it is just trying to protect you.
2016-04-01 03:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're crazy. Why would you give him permission to be with an ex-girlfriend?? For "closure"...well, he's not looking for closure from her...he's looking for an "opening", if you know what I mean.
And you said, "yeah, ok, that sounds like a good idea...."
You broke up before, and he turned to her within 24 hours and bought her jewelry and made a "promise". Now, you're "separated" and you TOLD him to get back together with her?? Your marriage is over. Instead of fighting for your husband, you let him go, and told him it was ok.
2007-07-31 04:21:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are right to solve the issue now but you also need to consider that he married you. So don't push him away but talk about it. Don't let the other party ruin your marriage. She may not even be interested in him but sometimes people like to get something that is out of reach.
Try to communicate with him and if he is determined to build a strong relationship you should both work on it. The fact that you didn't know about his fiance shows you both did not know each other well enough.
2007-07-31 05:44:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh! You deserve so much better than that. A relationship is built on trust and how can you trust this man. I don't see how he could get engaged to someone else in the 24 hours that you were apart. It sounds like he has probably been seeing her the whole time. I don't know what the situation is, but if it's like you say, you don't need someone like that in your life. If you stay with him you are saying it's okay to cheat and lie. Eventually he will do it again because he knows he can get away with it. I know it's hard, but you got to let this man go. I feel like you are going to get hurt worse if you stay in this relationship. Find someone who loves and respects you and who will be faithful! You deserve that, not what you have!
2007-07-31 04:28:05 · answer #9 · answered by faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he has a "fiance" on the side when you two were just married would cause me to tell you to get rid of the man. What kind of crap is that? He sure found someone else to be engaged really fast after you broke up, now didn't he?
2007-07-31 04:20:23 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋