I am 34 weeks pregnant and we just had a baby shower. We recieved a ton of stuff that we need and we also recieved $95 worth of gift cards. After the shower my fiance decided that he wanted to split the money and buy ourselves something. There is still a ton of stuff to get and we are short on cash. I argued with him till I was practically blue in the face about just using it for the baby since I only have 6 weeks left and we have about $1000 worth of things to buy not including diapers. I am sooo stressed out and he is the kind of guy that waits till the last min. to buy anything. I dont want that kind of stress since it is also possible that I go early. He just says that he will buy the stuff and will have to save up. The gift cards were not ment for us, they were ment for the baby and I dont know what to do. Should I spend it anyway on the baby or should I just do what he wants and split it and spend my half on the baby?
2007-07-31 03:52:18 · 24 answers · asked by angel l 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I should probably add that he wants to spend his half toward a video game.
2007-07-31 03:53:03 · update #1
Why are you marrying this guy? This should be a tipoff that he is not very responsible with money. This problem will get worse, not better, after you marry.
2007-07-31 03:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Take the money and hide it. Use it for the baby. Possibly save some for later after the baby, but spend it wisely now. Tell him he can use his own money towards a video game. Ask him how can he think of video games at your shower? Thats just selfish! My bf is like that- all he wants are video games and the latest gedgets...i cant imagine when we have kids!
You must take charge and tell him no. Make him see that you are short in money and that it will only be more difficult when the baby is here. Keep your conversation simple and somewhat quick- dont give him time to upset you. Use a rational voice and tell him when you're both in okay moods. If hes becomes stubborn, simply say you will not talk about this right now. If he becomes upset, say, " Look babe, im 34 weeks pregnant and im doing this for the baby-our child, and you're worried about a video game? Dont put yourself first. Think about his needs. You'll get a new game when we can financially. For now, im keeping the cards. Let's go buy some baby things." You can also add- Maybe we can look at the used games and see whats good...those are just examples of what i would say.
2007-07-31 04:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by *~*_BELLA_*~* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spend the money on the baby. Your friends who gave you the cards would be very upset to find out that your fiance bought a video game with it. What a jerk. Maybe you need to think about if you want to marry someone that selfish and immature. You don't need to hide the fact from him that you are spending the money on the baby. If he has a real problem with that, you will have a difficult time getting him to spend any of "his" money on the baby. Ditch the jerk before it's too late.
2007-07-31 04:03:18 · answer #3 · answered by corgiesrule 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he needs to grow up. Spend the gift cards on the baby stuff. It would be very rude to use them on stuff for yourself unless it was nursing bras or something and a video game, don't even get me started. I would go use them before he gets chance and you have a max of 6 weeks how much can be saved in that amount of time anyway.It truthfully sounds like he needs a wake up call, he should be helping you eliminate stress during pregnancy not creating it. It may only get worse once the baby is here, if I were you I would go stay with your family or something until he gets his priorities straight, I do not mean to be rude, but you are going to need someone who will help you after the baby is born and who can put the baby before himself.
2007-07-31 03:59:11 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all...my husband is into video games too...and I can't STAND it!! It's such a "little boy" hobby. That said, I have already laid down the law in our house that our children won't be allowed to play video games, period! lol They are such a waste of time!
Second...tell your fiance that you guys NEED this money for baby supplies. Write down a list of everything you still need to buy for the baby, how much it costs and when you need it buy. Then show it to him. Maybe seeing it all laid out will put it into perspective for him.
Also- when we were expecting our oldest we needed a crib, stroller, high chair, bath tub and swing (we got more than enough clothes as gifts lol) we only spent about $600 total. So if you are really that tight on money, I can tell you from personal experience, you don't HAVE to spend over $1,000 on baby gear! (and a changing table is such a waste! You will only use it for a few months and then your baby will start rolling over and it's just easier to change them on the bed/couch/floor where there's more room!)
2007-07-31 04:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Geez, tough situation. In my personal opinion, it isn't wise on his behalf to want to spend the money that was meant to buy needed things for the baby on a video game. If he can save the money to replace the gift cards, why can't he save the money to buy the video game and use the gift cards for their intended use? I can imagine your frustration. I would be terribly upset with my husband if he done something like that. I can't tell you what to do in this situation. That will have to be your call. I do, however, think that you are completely in the right. No questions about it!
2007-07-31 04:02:06 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs.GT 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go out right away and spend the cards on necessities for your baby. I am trying not to ba judgmental of your bf, but his behavior is very immature for a guy who is about to become a father. I think he is in for a rude awakening when your baby comes. he says that he will save up for the things you need. Well the time for that is now. Go get what you need. That's what it was meant for and he will just have to get over it. Good luck and congratulations.
2007-07-31 04:00:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Two things:
First, you sound like you are planning to spend way too much on baby things for someone who is short on cash. You should save the money to spend on ongoing expenses after the birth, such as diapers (and doctor bills if you don't have medical coverage).
Second, your fiance sounds incredibly immature. Keep as much control of the finances as you possibly can, because if he is that stubborn and selfish now, it is only going to get worse as the baby grows. Be sure you get his name on the birth certificate and mentally prepare for how you will manage on your own if he abdicates his responsibilities.
2007-07-31 04:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by RE 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
O no you are so rite to be upset! You need to let him know that now no matter what the BABY comes first. I personally would use them on the baby and not worry about what he says And come on now a video game no the baby is way more important!!! Well good luck and remember you have every reason to be upset
2007-07-31 04:04:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to grow up. I could understand if you bought what you need and had some left over, but not when you still have so much you need to buy.
If anything, you'd think he would understand... sorry he's putting you through - what shouldn't even turn into an upsetting situation.
Like you said, the gift cards were meant for the baby.
2007-07-31 04:03:33 · answer #10 · answered by PrettyProblem 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Spend it on the baby. Video games are not as important as things the baby needs. If he gets mad then he is being very selfish and immature. He need to grow up and be a man now.
2007-07-31 03:59:20 · answer #11 · answered by Sooner Girl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋