My best friend and I have been living together for about 4 years. I bought my own home about 2 years ago and she's been living with me ever since. We get along great; everything's fine. Anyways, I have been dating somebody for over a year now and we have talked about moving in together. Now, I would never, ever kick my friend out with out her having somewhere to go, but within the next year (probably next March), I would like to tell her, as gently as possibly, that me and so and so want to move in together and would like her to start looking for her own place. How is the best way to do so without her getting angry, or feeling abandoned? She makes decent money, so there's no reason why she couldn't find a good place, but what scares me is she does have it pretty made at my house. I want her to realize she can't live with me forever; that I need to think about my future. Also, I can't do the me, my man and my friend living together thing - that's just weird to me. Any suggestions?
2007-07-31 03:17:17 · 9 answers · asked by Ready to Go Home! 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If she chooses to feel hurt or abandoned, you cannot prevent her from having those feelings. If she gets angry, that's her right. Feelings are neither good or bad; they are simply indicators of how we are dealing with things. You are not responsible for her feelings, nor can you prevent her having feelings you don't like.
Sit down with her and tell her you feel you've found the right man for you, and you want to be able to live with him sometime in the next 6-9 months. Tell her how much you've enjoyed her as a friend and as a roommate, and so you want to give her plenty of time to find a place of her own.
If she suggests all three living in the same house, tell her honestly that you already considered that option and you realize you can't handle it.
Do it calmly... no crying ... no upset... no argument... just matter of fact... "this is what I want to do" and "I like and respect you and want you to have plenty of time to find the right new home for yourself".
2007-07-31 03:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her when you're both in a good mood and tell her when it's just the two of you. I would tell her that having her with you all these years has been great. Life throws curves and changes. I have been seeing so and so and we feel very close. We have thought about it and we want to live together. I know you have a good job so I know you could find an apartment somewhere that is affordable and hopefully close to here so our friendship isn't lost. I think it would be awkward for you and for all of us if all three of us lived together. I don't want to offend you I don't want to destroy our relationship so I think this is the best for all of us. What do you think? Do you think I've made a wise decision? I don't want you to feel abandoned but my life is changing and I had to make some sort of mature decision. I respect your thoughts what do you think?
2007-07-31 03:44:01 · answer #2 · answered by detour 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell ur friend to start looking 4 a place of her own. If shes ur best freind as much as u say she is she'll understand. And also tell her that its not dat u dont want her there its just that u want to live with ur man. My last advice is to her how u would feel if u both lived there. Its better if u tell her before she hears it from someone else. Good Luck!
2007-07-31 03:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by Cassy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is what you do you help your friend lokk for an apartment or house and tell her that she have to move out before next march because you want you boyfriend to move in witth you so if she say that she can't afford getting the furniture you can through her a house warming party so that every one can bring a gift for something in her house.
2007-07-31 03:29:18 · answer #4 · answered by princessayanna12 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you watch friends??? this reminds me of when monica and chandler moved in together watch the episode... well anyway, just be honest with her tell her sooner then later and just sit down make her her favorite dish or sumtin special make her feel special and then just tell her... let her know u still love her and u just want her to move out not stop being friends tell her u will help her in the process and u wont kick her out without her being settled and ok. tell her all this and she may be upset at first but she will come around
2007-07-31 03:27:22 · answer #5 · answered by kit-kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
asking a friend to move out is never easy. so just sit with her and tell her she should try to find a house of her own. tell her you will help her in any way she needs to be helped out. then look on the internet for a house/appartment/ ect. that is in her price range and if the reason she is living with you is cause she wants to be around you find a house for her that is close by.
2007-07-31 03:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your friend then she will understand. One night approach her in a really good mood. Tell her that your man really loves you and he said he wants to live together at some point. Tell her how happy you are and that you are really excited.
2007-07-31 03:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to be honest with her. After all she is your best friend. Assure her of your love and support despite of the changes.
2007-07-31 03:26:04 · answer #8 · answered by kat0217 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have a heart to heart talk with her open up to her on how you feel. Let her know exactly what you want.
2007-07-31 03:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋