I'm 20 years old and I was a very social person up until about a year after I graduated highschool. I have trust issues and find it very hard to converse verbally. I have worked in the same place for just over a year now yet I am still too shy to say the first "hello" to my fellow workers. At parties I find myself wandering about by myself seperating myself from my friends. When I am alone I find this is where I can be happy, yet at the same time I would enjoy being able to go out and have fun, socially. I talk VERY quiet, almost a whisper all the time. I have no idea if this is psychological or what. I want to see a therapist but I feel I won't be able to open up without having 20 visits first. I have a lot of heart and a lot of stuff in my head that I would love to unlock and have people hear...What can I do?
2007-07-31 01:24:29 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
you could be facing some sort of social phobia or anxiety. You say that these feelings began to persist after high school, did something happen to steer you away from trusting others? Do you feel as if people are constantly judging you? The problem could be a psychological one in which a therapist would be able to help you. Understanding WHY you act the way you do is the first step. Are you afraid of people? Do you get sweaty or uneasy? If so, this could link to social anxiety. If you get scared of talking to others, you may have social phobia which persists for several months before that label is afforded to be given. If you were to enter therapy, the therapist would more than likely focus on your fears while helping you to devise goals and ways to tackel your emotions around others. Without being your therapist though, I would recommend that you try to understand people are not judging you. When you go to work or school, make it your goal to simply say "hello" and ask your co-workers how they are doing. That will more than likely set the stage for further conversation. You should not feel awkward for being shy, everyone goes through with that. Just remember that you are a good person and people will see that, they wont think you are weird.
2007-07-31 06:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should print out what you wrote, or write a bit longer version about your problems, and show it to the therapist on your first meeting. I do think you should see somebody, but if you're averse to that, go get a book called
"Feeling Good Workbook" by Dr. David Burns. It goes over the types of thinking people have that engender fear and cause us to feel bad.
Another idea is to get really physical. Start an exercise routine so that you'll get tired and build up cardio and muscles. It will have an effect on your self-esteem.
It's possible your therapist will recommend some kind of medication. If so, don't be afraid to try it. I have had good results from antidepressants. Now if I could just follow my own advice and go weightlifting things would really get better. I know because at times in my life when I went to the gym my head cleared up and social skills magically improved.
2007-07-31 08:36:03 · answer #2 · answered by topink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start a journal. Write in it everything you say you have in your head that you would like people to hear. Write down what you feel seeing a therapist will accomplish. Take it all to the therapist and let them start with that.
You need to take small steps. It won't hurt you to say hello or good morning to co-workers. By this time they may wonder if you're unsocial when you're really just shy. What's the worst that could happen? You say hello and don't get an answer? So what? That person may have something on their mind and didn't hear you. But you would have taken a step.
Go for it! Good luck!
2007-07-31 08:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say quit the partying and just have a little time to yourself it honestly wouldn't take you long by talking to a therapist to come out into the open especially when your paying for it.
2007-07-31 08:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, first you are an introvert, who wants to change.
yeah, it might take 20 visits before you opened up, but if you don't do those 20 visits ( i would bet more like 10) when are you going to open up.
the talking very quietly makes me think you learned to be that quiet somewhere, like you weren't supposed to make noise, or disturb people-- but i am just guessing.
Get help with this - you can't think your way out of it alone.
2007-07-31 08:32:04 · answer #5 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have trust issues too and if I'm not with my best friend I usually don't talk so much. Maybe you should see a psychologist. I want to see one, but I haven't had the courage to tell anyone yet.
2007-07-31 08:34:39 · answer #6 · answered by sunny_marika 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say something happened during high school to make you not want to socialize with others or maybe you just got too busy to socialize and got used and thats why it is hard for you now.
2007-07-31 08:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by ArachnidDemon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.U r describing me.I have trust issues too and i am shy.I have no self confidence and I can't overcome my problem.It's a very interesting question.
2007-07-31 09:29:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just have fun and stop being so self concious.
if ppl dont like you for who you are fu*k um.
2007-07-31 08:28:15 · answer #9 · answered by Hey,geturjiblitzoffmyfacedude 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋