Can you take an ex back to court after the child is grown if he backs out of helping with college?

Question

My ex never agreed in writing to help with college but he had said he would. Through the years I never pushed for all the child support I could get because I thought he would help with college. He paid her room deposit, took her to register and then the very next day said he couldn't pay that much and asked if she could go to a cheaper school. She found a cheaper school and then the night before graduation he backed out of all help. He paid his last child support in June and that has been it. He knows she takes monthly medication and he will not help with those expenses either. She has now chose a community college and is working to pay her rent, etc. The worst part is he sent his two step kids out of state to a private Christian college and paid for their cars, cell phones, laptops, etc. But his own he will not help with. Since it was understood all along that he was going to help and now he backed out, can I take him back to court for some type of fraud or something?

Even though she is working, according to all the government, I am responsible for her college until she is 24 or married. For that reason she is not able to file on her own next year with her income to get extra help.

Many of you have pointed out that 18 is an adult. However, my point in all of this is that he put his step children through an out of state private college and provided all they needed. I realize that at some point they have to be adults BUT the government will not let us do that. She is working, has her own place, etc. but the government will still not consider her on her own. I am angry because he stands up in church and professes to be a Christian, works in the church but he and wife are doing all they can to turn their backs on his first marriage. This is wrong. This is a man that would not even give his daughter 100 towards a security deposit for her apartment. He would not even help her get simple house-hold items to get started. She has done NOTHING to them. In fact, she has went over-board in being nice to all of them to get along. Even when she was excluded from trips to the beach each summer. If a child is college material, the parent should make an effort to help.

One more thing, this is also a man who got over $500,000 a few years back in a settlement plus he makes $50+ a year and that does not include the income from his wife.

Yes, the government does make them adults at 18 BUT to apply for any loan, they have to start with the one from the government. It does not matter if they are even 21 years old, living on their own, working, etc. They have to include my income (if any) and my husband's income until they are 24 or married. Even though my husband is the stepfather we have to give them our income for them to use in determining any grants, etc., before they other things kick in. I think that it is awful that a man has to have a court order to do anything for his daughter. I know that is current wife is behind it and I think it is awful that he can not be man enough to stand up to her and say that she is his daughter and deserves his help the same as the stepkids. Yes, I tried to stay out of the courts because I thought this man was actually honest in what he said through the years but I was wrong. As for his stepkids, they have grown into rude adults - I should have taken him for every cent.

Sorry - forgot. Yes, I do live in the United States.

Answer 1

This is something that should have been addressed at the time of the divorce settlement/agreement and been indicated in writing at that time and filed with the Courts.

As that did not happen and you only had a verbal agreement, you could try consulting with a good family practice attorney in your State to review the original decree and any evidence that he ever agreed to pay for you daughter's college (including any e-mails and they usually can be used in a Court...if you don't have any, try e-mailing him now stating that he agreed to pay whatever dollar amount or percentage he agreed to pay, that you didn't push more on child support earlier because it was your understanding that he would help pay and see how he responds...hopefully that he did agree and says something about "not being able to afford it", which sound like it will be fairly easy to refute if he put two step-children through private colleges) and print it off, save it in your e-mail and save it to a word document).

If you cannot afford an attorney, you could try pursuing the matter in Small Claims Court, but the limits vary on what you can try to collect, which is usually between $3,000 and $6,000 depending on which State (filing fees vary, but usually $100 and you can represent yourself, just fill out the paperwork at the Clerk's office), but you would still need to meet the burden by the preponderance of the evidence that he agreed to pay and what, when and how much he agreed to pay.

Answer 2

Child support is to provide money to care for a child. That basically means until they are through high school. College students ARE adults. Nobody is REQUIRED to pay for college. It's great if parents help, but nothing requires it. I doubt you can make him pay. That IS his choice. Legally, where would YOU draw a line? Should a parent to responsible for their children forever? How about those "children" who STAY students for years and years and years- changing majors 6-10 times? Or, a kid that decides to start college at 21? Or 30? Obviously, there IS some limit. Our society has set it at 18, or through high school. What do YOU consider adult? EDIT EDIT EDIT Lady, I read your update. You are angry at your ex. That's fine, and normal. But, you can't transform you being angry into a legal obligation. no matter how much he makes, what he does for his step kids, or what he claims in church. You say you didn't push for MORE support- your choice. Apparently, he did pay support as ordered by the court. After support ended, his legal obligations ended. Ya don't get to retroactively create an obligation after his support ended- no matter how miffed you are. May I ask just what country you live in? Everywhere in the US, 18 IS the age of majority. The US government doesn't count 18years+ as children.

Answer 3

Your verbal agreement is not enforceable. Rather or not you might be able to take him back to court and request support through college depends on where you live and you didn’t state that. If you live in a state that allows for child support through college, then maybe. If you live in a state that does not allow it, then no.

My personal opinion on this issue--I don’t think any state should allow it, and here’s why…if you're 18 (a legal adult, which means you’re responsible for yourself) and your parents are still married then a judge cannot order them to support you while you’re in college. However, if your parents are divorced, then (depending on where you live) a judge can order it. That seems a bit unfair to me.

With that said, assuming you live in the US, although the government may deem her a ‘dependant’ of yours for financial aid purposes, tax purposes, etc., you are not responsible for paying for her college. It is certainly possible for a person to pay for college entirely on their own (via grants, financial aid, loans, working, etc). Many people do it.

Answer 4

If your agreement says he can stop paying at 18 you are out of luck, and had bad legal advice. However, whoever told you that you are responsible for her even though she is on her own is wrong. If you are not supporting her and she is working and living on her own she can apply for financial aid based on her income.

Answer 5

Is the student over 18?

If so, then it is an irrelevant point as the student is the responsible party.

The guy is an a hole, but is legally in the clear.

Answer 6

Yes you can. My lawyer advised I do this when my children entered college. It is not a big deal, they will reevaluate his child support and unless his wages have gone down, they will probably increase it. From reading your synopsis, I would definitely say you need to take him back to court. If the child goes to college he is responsible for child support until age 22. Get a good lawyer now.

Answer 7

U need to talk to a lawyer about this. In many states, as long as your child is in school, you may collect child support. good luck.

Answer 8

Unless it was specifically outlined in the divorce settlement, you are out of luck. If she is 18, and working, she is supporting herself.

Answer 9

Without a written agreement, either in the decree or not, it will be difficult, if not impossible, to enforce this.

Answer 10

Yes you can, however, there is no guarantee you will win. Speak to your lawyer first and go with what he says.