I am a 36 year old male, married for 8 years and no children. I have come to a crossroads in myself and my relationship. I love my wife dearly but I am in personal termoil. I am certain now (after a lot of soul searching) that I am a woman trapped in a man's body. I have always had these feelings and I just put them in the back of my mind, hoping that they would go away. They haven't and now I don't know what to do. Should I tell her? I am totally confused on what to do.
2007-07-31 00:59:51 · 9 answers · asked by jmeuller1970 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I would find the nearest LGBT center in your area and call....
the number for the one near me is: 216-651-LGBT
or check out this website: www.lgbtcleveland.org
good luck to you
2007-07-31 01:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by who me? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should tell her. I suspect that after 8 years your wife may have some inkling that there is something 'different' that she may have never been able to put her finger on about you. However, that being said, I feel like she loves you and has perhaps been in denial about what she may already suspect. This is not going to be easy. It sounds like there is a good chance that she is in love with you because you have this strong feminine side. I can't help but think that you are doing all of the psychological wrestling within yourself, while she has probably been content to just enjoy having a sensitive, loving partner. I don't think your wife will find it easy to wrap her mind around your verbalizing what you have here - but I'm not certain that she will run from this either. You really need to include her in this so that you can both figure out what to do from here. You can't continue to do this alone -- in the end it won't be good for either of you. I am sorry for you -- that you've had this conflict to deal with, that you have someone in your life who you love, and that there is no one who can do this for you or with you. But I am certain that this will be the hardest and MOST CATHARTIC thing that you will ever do in your life. I'm certain you will find relief and peace. I'll keep you in my prayers.
2007-07-31 01:14:10 · answer #2 · answered by felixthecat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and she loves you, then you need to tell her. She is your partner, whether as a lover or a sister.
A question you probably will need to face eventually is whether you want to have surgery to change to a woman. For that, you will need professional counselors and your wife will need to be very, very understanding. Who knows, you could end up a lesbian couple!
2007-07-31 01:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by auntb93 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course you must tell her (but believe me, it won't be easy); both of you will need help to get through this.
If you are as certain about this as you say, your next step is to find a good counsellor.
You might find some helpful advice and information here;
http://www.gender.org/resources/index.html
and of course, this is the biggest, and possibly the best, resource finder for transpeople;
http://www.tsroadmap.com/
Good luck, to both of you, whatever you decide to do.
2007-07-31 02:29:17 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe seen a therpist would be a start and go to that for awhile to sort these issues and concerns and if can't be resloved or could be then maybe you need to be open and honest to her about how u really feel about yourself.
2007-07-31 01:07:42 · answer #5 · answered by Michael A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk to a gay counselor, there's many out there that can advise you on this type of gender dysphoria syndrome.
goodluck=
2007-07-31 01:33:16 · answer #6 · answered by JESSICA G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont keep leading her on. your wasting her life and her time. and thats not fair.
you are who you are, and anyone who loves you should accept that. tell her. itll be a relief on ur part...
2007-07-31 06:33:07 · answer #7 · answered by LoLo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i say see a marriage counselor
2007-07-31 03:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes tell her but get some counselling or advice first and don't expect her to welcome the news.
*
2007-07-31 01:21:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋