What Events would you expect to find in the Republican Olympics?

Question

Dead Horse Beating and the $500 Million Pork Grab are old favorites, as is the Special Pleading Relay.

But what other events should be in the Games?

There's a difference WHC. Bill Clinton's been gone for 7 years. The consequences of that stolen election just keep getting worse.

Maybe you could do a question about the Demolympics, Sfavorite.

Try to leave a few for other answerers, Austin.

Answer 1

My favorites would include:

The morality finger point-a-thon

The Stay the Course Triathalon

Gymnastics events would include:

The reasons for the War backflip

The remove the beam from your eye events are most arousing

Other events would include:

The downhill slide towards Fascism

The find the bomb in a tube of toothpaste

And the ever popular, Chase the Terrorists in every place BUT where they actually ARE.

Raji teh Green Witch

Answer 2

The Christian Coalition "Makeup-a-Thon"
The Condi Rice/Karl Rove Dating Game
The Libby Defense Fund Fun Run
The Al Franken Shoot
Pin-The-Tail-on-Michael Moore's Huge Commie Butt
The "Chase the minority voters away from the polling station" competition

Answer 3

Channel-changing.

Doing funny things with your lips that involve sticking them out and beating your hands up and down.

Potato chip eating.

Reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

Reciting the alphabet.

Pie eating.

Making right turns out of the shopping mall, while failing to check for oncoming traffic and talking on a cell phone.

Waddling.

Shiniest bald head.

Pointiest head.

Making rude noises.

Hog-calling.

Miscounting votes.

Miscarriages of justice.

Childish sexist names for Hillary.

Childish racist names for Barack.

Telling the biggest lies.

Raising the most money.

Destroying the most jobs.

Starting the longest war.

Scaring the most Mexicans.

Killing the most Iraqi children.

Face-stuffing.

Drowning the most New Orleans blacks.

Wasting the most taxpayer money on the "cleanup."

Syping on the most innocent, law-abiding American citizens.

Letting the most taxpayer-financed trailers rot in a FEMA lot near Hope, Arkanasas.

Alienating the most civilized people of Europe.

Secret memos.

Torture.

Homeless roundups.

Accidental face-shooting.

Cleanest MacMansion.

Biggest SUV.

Biggest hair.

Biggest hindquarters.

Telling the biggest lies about the fish.

Sorry dear, but it was just too tempting.

Answer 4

you screech about stolen elections for 7 years and claim dead horse beating? What events do the libs enter? Of course, anything that allows the participant to wear spandex, the always popular sit & spin, most likely anything that involves running, jumping or swimming, (to accomodate your south of the border voters). and raising the dead,(especially around election time...)

Answer 5

Dictator Discus throw
Multinational matt wrestling with child slaves
women's Big Hair competion (officials must test their blood for peroxide)
Downhill race to see which bank tanks first
And of course opening ceremonies will be spectacular .
All the little countries they screwed over will be there .

Answer 6

Guess there are two leagues because I notice the Democrats play this game as well.

As long as both parties can get people to ignore the transgressions of their own party and take cheap shots at the other party they will continue to abuse us.

Both parties have scumbags and we need to point them out along with the hypocrite's of our own parties.

Answer 7

1. Beat the hell out of Hillary.
2. Terrorist target biathalon.
3. Climb the stock market ladder.

Answer 8

Toss the middle class

Answer 9

wrestling a lion king ?.

Answer 10

The liberal throw.