i've been with my partner several years and although i enjoy our sex life i never have an orgasm. i have felt very close at times, but then it just feels uncomfortable. i have never had one with previous partners either. is it possible i just can't have one??
2007-07-30 23:30:47 · 11 answers · asked by ellocheeky 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
'Feeling close' to coming is a clue that you can achieve it.
What you need to do is avoid whatever is making you feel uncomfortable. For a lot of women, that can be the pressure to 'achieve' something instead of enjoying yourself. Others back off because their 'close to coming' feeling is a bit like wanting to pee, or because the method of stimulation becomes irritating.
Sometimes, you need to use equipment to learn how to orgasm, because the stimulation is intense enough to do it quickly. Battery-powered vibrators give a higher-pitched 'buzz', which can be precisely directed. Vibrators that plug into the wall socket have a more powerful motor, and usually deliver more of a 'throb', which can feel more erotic. After you have managed to 'get there', you can slow the process down a bit and 'fine tune' your technique.
Learning to do this by yourself can remove some of the pressure, and let you experiment without feeling silly. Mental images often help. Some collections of female erotica are available, and these may include stories that excite you enough to forget the 'mechanical' part of the process.
Nancy Friday's classic 'My Secret Garden' is a popular starting point, and there will be other books on the same shelf that might interest you more, depending on your preferences. If you get used to this material, you could consider asking your partner to read it to you, or improvise on similar themes, during lovemaking.
2007-07-30 23:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by Fitology 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You may have had an orgasm with out realising it, one sure way to prevent it happening is to worry about every time you may love.
I f you feel you are getting close it then you are able to achieve one, instead of saying to your self I must achieve an orgasm, when you are making love with your partner, relax and enjoy being with each other , show your partner where you like to be carressed and move his hand gently to the areas that make you feel nice, make sure that caresses you G spot and I am sure that you will arrive where you want to be, but like anything life it may take a little bit of time just enjoy each other and stop worrying
2007-07-31 18:02:56 · answer #2 · answered by john h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most women discover how to give one to themselves first. It is uncomfortable to almost get there & stop because all the blood is packed up against all those nerves.
If you're uncomfortable doing it to yourself in bed, lock yourself in the bathroom & spray the showerhead down there, up close. You'll find the area that feels good. Keep spraying it there until it happens. You'll know when it does, trust me. Please be laying in the tub as it can be rather intense. But after you've had your first one you'll be more comfortable with your own body & begin to know it well enough to know how to manuever your body to reach it with your partner. Better yet to show him.
You can have one as long as you have a clitoris. Just some women have one that's up higher thus more difficult to stimulate just through regular sex. Plus often the man has always "just done it" so he presumes that's all he has to do unless told otherwise. Sharing this can make you both better, more intimate lovers.
2007-07-31 06:53:00 · answer #3 · answered by syllylou77 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A very delicate question but, as a mere man, I must ask you to 'take it easy' or more likely ask your partner to indulge in more foreplay and find the G Spot before having full coitus.
You are right, not all women are as lucky as others but the 'mad rush' should be out of your book.
2007-07-31 06:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by MANCHESTER UK 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ive fortunately never had this problem but id say experiment by yourself, try talking dirty while doing the deed, fantasise or try certain positions (on top is a good one as your clit rubs against him perfectly) or just try being slower different things work for different people, maybe a kiss or a rub may do the trick, relax & enjoy
2007-08-01 00:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by sweety-pie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clitoral stimulation and lots of it during foreplay. Self-exploration might help a bit...
2007-07-31 06:38:46 · answer #6 · answered by K © 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Alot of girls can't.It took me alot of practice & experimenting by myself until I learned jsut the right spot.Don't give up! ; p
2007-07-31 06:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
intense foreplay needed with toys in the right spot
2007-07-31 06:36:40 · answer #8 · answered by nakman951 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take time to find it yourself and then you'll know how to guide him to it so you can enjoy together
2007-07-31 06:40:13 · answer #9 · answered by Tiger01204 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try it on your own first, if you reach that magical feeling let your partner know how you done it and show him.good luck.
2007-07-31 06:37:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋