My boyfriend and I used to share the same home, but I moved out recently. He said he neededsome space. I don't know if I have to believe in that. At first I was devastated, but I have 2 jobs right now and took all the appliances I bought , and moved back to my parents' house. I like my independence, and I think I'm doing well, and I'm good enough, but why doi feel I need his approval to make me feel better about myself?
2007-07-30 22:40:44 · 17 answers · asked by OnionSkin 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not about approval. it's sounds more like validation and closure. it sounds like it was rough and a little bitter, but then again I am assuming without many details. You're probably wondering why didn't he want me and a sense of rejection. You cannot think like that. You have already stated, you have 2 jobs, a place to live and you are independent, but really you are unhappy about the situation. Time heals all wounds and just let this be. When you find someone who cares, respects and loves you... this will be a healed old wound. Don't dwell and heal. Sounds like you are keeping yourself busy so just keep doing well for yourself and try not to think about it, but don't avoid it either. just deal with it one day at a time. good luck
2007-07-30 22:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by mishle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might not be satisfied with the "i need some space" cliche. It never makes sense to anyone who has to hear that line. I'm sorry he was so vague. It sounds like you are doing well for yourself, as you continue life being independent you will eventually realize you don't care what he thinks, and you'll see that you're happy without him. Don't feel like you need his approval to validate yourself. If you two didn't end up working out, then there is obviously something else waiting for you down the road. Just stay positive & keep your focus on improving your life.
2007-07-31 05:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by Kimi Cabanna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You always try to get the approval of the ones we love, no matter how independent. It is not healthy, you will end up not liking him because you won't be able to live up to his expectations.
You get a job, it is not good enough, you dress nice, but should dress nicer. It will drive you crazy, so don't give him space, give yourself space and see that you are independent and loving yourself.
2007-07-31 05:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by SINGLEMOM4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well done in taking control of your life!! You sound like an intelligent and level headed women. But there is nothing that makes you question yourself more is relationships. Somehow when we have been rejected, it distorts our view of ourselves. It sounds as if you know logically that you don't need his approval but matters of the heart have no logic. Sounds like you need to do a lot of self talk and recognise how strong you have become and soon his opinion wont matter in the slightest.
Good luck
2007-07-31 06:06:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry and can understand your hurt but if you truly felt good enough about yourself you wouldn't feel the need for his approval.
It hasn't been long and you need more time to heal.
Take this time to grow and love yourself and in the future don't EVER let any guys wrong personal opinion of you determine your own self worth!
:)
2007-07-31 05:50:10 · answer #5 · answered by maryv2013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an old saying "If you love somebody set him free" since that he is the one who asking a space, why dont let him go, he is not worth to give your hundred percent love...If you said independence, meaning you can live by yourself so why do you need his approval. no need and stay strong.
2007-07-31 05:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by Jay & Gigi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes why do you need the feel his approval? Who cares he doesn't,just appreciate the honesty.so he needs time,good,you made the right decisions,Enjoy your freedom,Independence,and time to yourself.STOP feeling guilty,sorry,Petty,whoa is me...life is good,have enough confident believe,don't change who you are!!!You want someone who going to cherish,love and adore you for who you are and not what you can become!!! got it .
2007-07-31 06:04:32 · answer #7 · answered by atsinrocpalms 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No need for approval from hi. His loss your gain. Keep on moving through life and go with being happy.
2007-07-31 05:44:02 · answer #8 · answered by curious6710 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BECAUSE YOU GAVE HIM THAT POWER: YOU SEEK HIS APPROVAL LIKE A CHILD SEEKS APPROVAL FROM A PARENT TO DO SOMETHING. INDEPENDENCE IS JUST THAT CHOOSING YOUR OWN WAY AND HOW YOU WANT TO GET THERE. CASH IN THE PITY TRAIN TICKET. YOU WILL BE OVER HIM SOON. HE NEED SPACE ALRIGHT. SPACE: YOU WAIT AND GO UNEXPECTED OVER TO SEE HIM AND YOU WILL SEE WHAT SPACE WAS ABOUT. YOU BETTER NOT FEEL SORRY. YOU SHOULD BE GLAD. HE WASNT MAN ENOUGH TO FACE YOU. SPACE IS A COP OUT EXCUSE FOR NOT WANTING TO SEE YOU ANYMORE BUT HE STILL WANT TO BE PHYSICALLY INVOLVED.
2007-07-31 05:47:51 · answer #9 · answered by CEYISHA S 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lets see, needing someone elses approval I think usually means you havent reconciled with yourself and therefor either dont like or dont accept yourself, perhaps you have unrelized dreams you felt you should have accomplished by this stage in your life and are holding yourself to those standards. The best cure is to learn to accept yourself for who you are then you will stop seeking approval or acceptance from others.
2007-07-31 05:46:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋