How can I get my nine month old out of my bed and out of my arms at night?

Question

My nine month old just started wanting to sleep my bed at night. He was sick for a little while and he had to be in the hospital for three days. I ended up sleeping in the hospital crib with him but even before that he was sleeping with me and I couldn't get him out. He has never slept with us until now. What can I do to get him out of my bed ASAP. I need some sleep and some space.

Answer 1

You started a real bad habit here and should stop it as soon as possible. Read to him in his bed, bring some of his favorit toys to bed with him or, tell him stories until he goes to sleep.

Answer 2

It's not really a bad habit- our baby sleeps with us and she is almost a year old. Our son slept with us until he was 2.5 years. He has autism though and it was hard to get him out due to fear of the dark- once we figured out what worked, it was easy to get him in his own big boy bed.

I would put some music on low in his room- our baby loves classical- bach and beethoven. There are also baby lullabies- just make sure they are not upbeat.

Our son, though 10 listens to ocean waves with a guitar playing in the background. It's called Guitar by the Sea and he loves it.

Put him in there drowsy, and say night- night after having a firm bedtime routine- bath, book, bed. He may cry and that is what breaks my heart. We don't do Cry It Out here. Rub his back and leave for a few minutes and get him back into his rhythm.

Our daughter does sleep in her crib from time to time- and as long as she it tired, she will lay down and go to sleep without crying.

Good luck!

Answer 3

My son did the same and i had to do the control crying method because nothing else worked.
You don't just let them cry and do nothing, but you go in every 5 then 10 then 15 mins etc... till they are asleep but its only briefly so that they know you are there and haven't left them. It took me a while to get up the nerve to do it and my heart nearly broke, but it was for the greater good! By the end of the week we were a much happier family!
Speak to a child health nurse and borrow some books or videos on this topic. they saved my sanity!

Sleep centres can work magic if you're not up to doing it alone.

Answer 4

Oh hun, I feel your pain! My eight month old has just started doing the same thing, and I feel like I'm about to collapse of exhaustion!

One of the things that I have found that helps is wrapping my daughter. She resisted being wrapped again at first, but now loves the extra security.

You could also try putting him to bed with something that smells like you, an old t'shirt etc.

I personally don't agree with the 'controlled crying' method, but some people do say that it works. I just think it does a bit of emotional harm to the baby.

Good luck, and I hope you get some sleep soon!

Answer 5

Ease him back into it. We recently had the same trouble with my 1 year old daugher. She was sick & wouldn't sleep on her own so my husband would sleep with her in the loungeroom, even though I told him a number of times not to. Anyway, she refuses to sleep in her cot, even through the day. We have actually had to buy a toddler bed, she sleeps in that now. I know what it's like to have a sick baby. I have always slept with mine when they were sick but luckily, they never got used to sleeping in my bed. Try him in his cot & then everytime he wakes up, settle him down & put him back down, even if it takes all night. He has to get used to it again which can take time.

Answer 6

Do not feel guilty for co-sleeping, parents all around the world do it. Co-sleeping can be a wonderful thing for you and your child. Children feel comfortable and safe in their parent's bed. But if you cannot sleep comfortably and want your baby back in the crib, I would recommend slowly transfering him. Wait until he is asleep and then put him in his crib. Then start putting him in there when he's sleepy. You might have to stay with him until he falls asleep.

Answer 7

Why don't you look up the benefits of co-sleeping and make it a safe and comfortable arrangement for BOTH of you. You can be together and comfortable, and you can be there for him emotionally throughout the night, aswell as breastfeeding easily. There is nothing 'wrong' with your baby needed you in the night, he needs you during the day too, why is night time any different for him?

Co-sleeping might work really well for your family, and I suggest you do some reseach on it even if you don't plan on co-sleeping, because you currently ARE and you need to know some basic ways to stay SAFE. You can also look up how to get a co-sleeper into his own bed, which normally happens on their own (babis own) between 2-3 years of life.

This is the most beautiful time to enjoy your child and everything about him.
I wish you luck and hope you find all the answers you are looking for, there is no ASAP way to gently handle getting him into his own bed, only a harsh and crule ASAP way.

:D

Answer 8

Oh my! this is why I'm not a co-sleep fan....I really don't know what to say cause everybody else has said great things. My baby girl has slept in her crib since we got back from the hospital because I have a cousin who is still trying to get her 3 year old son out of the bed...and that wasn't gonna happen to me!

Answer 9

You're just going to have to be firm and patient.

When my daughter was still in her cot I'd leave her to cry, but no longer than 20 minutes though. If she was still crying after 20 minutes I'd cradle her a bit, put her in her cot, caress her face for a minute and then walk out. She soon realised (with in 3 - 4 nights) that her place to sleep was in her cot.
Remain calm and use gentle motions and try and not talk too much to her.

It's not so easy now though, with her in a bed and she can simply just get out of bed. This is a painstaking process of sitting outside her bedroom door in the dark and everytime she comes out, I simply pick her up and put her back into her bed without saying a word and then repeating the whole process again. Her record, is getting out of bed 11 times!!! Like I said - alot of patience and remain firm (as in, don't give in to her).

Answer 10

I have had the same problem with my son!!! Two weeks before we moved into our new home he did a total 360! He used to ALWAYS sleep in his crib. Until one night he just started screaming and shaking like he was terrified of his room. So I comferted him,sang to him,rocked him...needless to say nothing would work! So I put his little butt in our bed for the time being (but only until we got moved into our new home). Once we were moved in good (about 1 1/2 weeks) I tried something different...I would lay down with him in my bed (for about 30 min.), then I would sneak out & come back when I knew he was asleep good. I then picked him up & put him in his crib & to my surprise he stayed asleep ALL NIGHT! So I did that a few times, then I would just put him in my bed & walk out the room. I worked on that for almost two weeks (because he would get out of my bed & walk around). And about 6 days ago I just started putting him back into his crib (in his room). I turn on his night light,hand him his "ba ba",turn off the lights & then stand in the middle of his room for about 15 min. As long as he could see me he was fine but when I would sneak out he fussed so I went back in,comferted him, then sneak back out! I now only have to stay in there for about 5 min. Once I have left the room...he now knows that its night night time. I hope this will work for you...it has for me...good luck!