Feeling sad and confused..?

Question

I'm sad & confused. My boyfriend has all the characteristics of a good person. He is kind, funny, caring, loving & a sweetheart. You can trust him with anything & he will always have your back. But the other day we were talking & he mentioned that in a few years time, he wants to try drugs (he's 14 now). I'm totally against drugs. He says he only wants to try marijuana ("because life is too short and you should try everything before you die") but I'm against drugs and I don't want my boyfriend to change because I love him for who he is at the moment & I don't want that to change when he tries drugs and becomes a different person, a criminal. I don't know what to do. Have you been in a similar situation?..where you love someone but they do what they want to do even if it's potentially dangerous? & did that person end up doing drugs? Or is my boyfriend just too young to understand & will realise over the next few years that it's not worth it and won't do it? Serious answers only. Thanks.

I just went on a site and it says:
Smoking marijuana will certainly affect perception, but it does not cause permanent brain damage.

What does it mean by perception? Is that permanent? I'm just confused. :S Thanks.

All these answers offer great advice. I just can't choose only one best answer :S

Thank you for all your warm words of advice and thank you all for your opinions.

Answer 1

Drugs are not a joke. I'm a recovering addict. I always thought I'd smoke pot forever. But I developed a chemical imbalance while using drugs. I was just like any other stastistic only difference is that I got out of it before I ended up in Jail or died. I had a OD and ended up in the hospital. When it all started I had a gf, and my youth all ahead of me. Then she left and it broke my heart so I kept doing the stuff, (pot, coke, alcohol, pills, LSD) Years later I realized she left because there was stuff she needed to do and I had to do whatever I had to do. Whatever I did made me who I am now, and it's done and over. I could at lesat help others with this kind of problem. I won't say that I had no regrets, because I do, all those mistakes I made, all I took for granted including my gf, nothing can bring that back now. I started when I was 16 or something. I'm 33 now and recovering from all the damage I caused myself and others around me. I'm afraid you won't understand but at your age, there are somethings he's got to understand and doing drugs is going to prevent him from learning and experienceing new things. I urge you to tell him not to think about things like that. There will always be time to party. I'm only 33 and I got sick of it literaly. He's 14 it's not like he's gonna die in 10 years! In my eyes he should be wearing diapers if he's thinking about using drugs just because he needs to live life to the fullest. Anyway he's gonna do what he's gonna do, and so will you. Hope this helps.

Perception is how you see things. Your consiousness. It can cause paranoia and an incredible urge to eat tasty and savory foods, like pizza.

Answer 2

There must be something about the age of 14 or 15 that brings these feelings to young people. It is a difficult age to get through. For years, you have been a child. Then, all of a sudden, your body is changing, adulthood looms and your mind gets all mixed up. Every one of us goes through some similar feelings at that time, and it is easy to get depressed. If you're a girl, you are convinced you are repulsive, your forehead has zits, your girlfriends are catty, and the boyfriends drift away. If you are a boy, you feel you are a dud at schoolwork, that girls don't like you, and can't stand your parents telling you what to do. The way to get over this is to get busy. Make friends, go places, do things. Get hobbies. Giggle with your girlfirends. Help your Mom with something. Play with the dog. Go for a hike. Take a flower to the neighbor. Above all, smile! Pretty soon, you'll be so much fun and so popular, you won't have time to be depressed. So, get on with it. Chances are that, by the time you have reached 16, you'll wonder how you could have felt this way.

Answer 3

Marijuana does a whole lot of damage that people are not aware of, including causing decreased fertility later on.
Aside from that, using marijuana impairs judgment, and often leads to the use of stronger illegal drugs.
Your boyfriend is very young, and hopefully he wises up, but there is no guarantee that he will.
His statement "life is too short and you should try everything before you die" is one of the dumbest things a person could say or think. Ask him if he thinks he should try leaping off the Empire State Building (without a parachute) because "life is too short and you should try everything before you die." Or perhaps he thinks he should try standing in front of an oncoming Mac Truck that's going 90mph because "life is too short and you should try everything before you die." Or maybe he should try irritating an already angry rattlesnake because "life is too short and.........etc" You get the idea.
I often wonder WHAT in the world possesses a person to do something that they already KNOW is not good for them?
Try to make him see logic.

Answer 4

To be honest--it is too soon to be trying to talk him out of these things since he has NOT tried them. He is still young and WILL learn alot more and be more educated about drugs (they teach EVERYthing about them in schools these days). I WON'T tell you to lighten up, but i WILL tell you that you both seem to be well rounded already for your ages so I would not be freaking out about this now because you BOTH are going to grow and evolve and do many, many different things.
And trust me girl, smoking pot is NOT the worst thing a person could try -- but DO beware if he does experiment with harsher drugs, especially LSD, coke, crack, or the like, because let me tell you--all it takes is ONCE to like it too much and you will risk EVERYthing for it. AMD loose everything in the meantime.
I wish you both well and will pray that you make positive choices in your lives.

Answer 5

If he wants to try it, that's okay. Its a part of him that you will just have to accept and live with. Experimentation will not sully him- he's not going to light one joint and then decide to join a street gang. He's fourteen, tough, so really if he doesn't change from who he is then you should worry. Just love him and grow with him. And when you have to face the issue of drugs for real- let him know how you feel but always accept him. Don't encourage him or discourage him. That's the fastest way to lose him.

Answer 6

He should wait til he's 21 to try anything, for his own protection. Getting busted can't be fun. When he's older, have some beer, if he still wants to experiment. Try to get him to attend a narcoticsanonymous meeting, so he can see for himself what can happen. Any drug counsellor can help. Do what you can to keep him from even starting on anything. Go with him, or a male friend can.

Answer 7

Just relax.For all you know,he may as well forget about it unless of course,you keep drilling it into him all the time.On the other hand,you may like to join him in any such venture at that point of time.Drugs don't get in to a person so easily.When he mentions it next time,Just LOL and change the subject.

Answer 8

Run for the hills,sweetie.Believe me you deserve better,and you have your whole life ahead of you.I made alot of mistakes at your age(i'm 32),and there are times when i wish i could turn back the hand of time.You don't want to have regrets

Answer 9

just tell him how u feel about drugs. that you disagree with it. and that you would be really disappointed in him if he did them. and if he still does drugs. dump him, because then he never liked u anyways. if he likes you, he will listen to u. and not do drugs. besides, drugs will mess u up anyways. if he tries it "once" i assure u hes gonna get addicted. and do it again and again and again.

Answer 10

try to talk them out of it but it is their life...if you really dont like it you can make him choose between drugs and you or just straight out dump him