My boyfriend and baby daddy is a raging alcholic?

Question

My boyfriend and baby's daddy is a raging alcholic, and he talks to me like I'm a peice of crap. I feel like he uses me for money, and he doesnt have a job because he can't read or write. He is good with his kids though, but my problem is I hate him so much at times and desperatly want to leave him. For some reason he charms his way back in and I forgive him. I don't know what to do. It sounds stupid right just leave him, but unless youve delt with this its more complicated. He promises to never drink again, and than tells me I'm not his mom I can't tell him what to do. I'm trying to support two children and go to school. He treats me so bad, and yet I still stay...
If anyone has any suggestions on how I can better my situation please let me know. I can't take this any longer.

Answer 1

You said: "unless youve delt with this its more complicated"

It’s not complicated at all. Walk out the door. Stay with family or friends, or even go to a shelter if you have to.

Have I ever been involved with a raging alcoholic who treated me like crap? No, because I was very careful to steer clear of men like that. But I have ‘dealt with it’. My step-father was like that (and it eventually turned physically abusive). Trust me, I’ve heard every excuse in the world for staying, and that’s what they are--excuses, not legitimate reasons. And I’ve heard all the promises too: “I swear it will never happen again”. But it always did happen again.

Nothing about the situation will change until YOU make it change. If nothing else, do it for your child’s sake. Even if he treats the child like gold, it’s a horrible thing for a child to have to witness his mother being treated like this.

You have no clue the damage that this is doing to your kids. In my case, it ended up with me being *very* angry with my mother for *many, many* years because she had forced us kids to live in that situation. And in my sister's case--well, she’s now married to a man who treats her like crap, and I’m convinced it 's because she basically learned that 'that's how it supposed to be'. Don’t screw your kids up like this.

Answer 2

Well let me tell you my story I have been in a similiar situation. My BF wasnt an alcoholic, he used to smoke weed and was abusive. I also had two kids and I always came back cause he treated me so bad and made my self esteem go down that I felt that I needed him. Which I didnt. I would leave then he will come and sweet talk me back. He will promise to change etc etc and never did. Everyone kept telling me leave him leave him but it wasnt so easy, until I was in a car accident with my kids in the car. My car was totaled, wasnt my fault by the way. I had already contemplated leaving him before the accident but that made me make up my mind. I analyzed my life how it wasnt going anywhere with him how I knew I could accomplish so much but he was my downfall and I knew I didnt want to live how I did and let my kids grow up and think it was ok to live like this, plus my kids werent happy. I left him after 4 years I walked out and didnt look back. He kept telling me no one will want me cause i had kids that I needed to get back with him. I didnt and as time passed by I realized that I was an attractive intelligent woman and what the hell was I thinking when I decided to waste 4 years on my life with that loser. Now I am happily married to a wonderful man who loves me and my kids and I hope that my story will help you in some way realize that you can accomplish so much in life and in time when you are ready make sure you dont look back just keep looking foward toward a brighter future for you and your kids because at the end that is all that matters.

Answer 3

He's good with the kids and a raging alcoholic? He can be one or the other but not both. Quite lying to yourself that there is any value in having this man around and do what you know you need to do. Get free of his influence over you once and for all and make something of your life for your children's sake. "For some reason" he charms his way back in and you forgive him? The reason is you don't care about yourself enough. It is a vicious circle. He lowers your self esteem and you feel powerless to do anything about it. If you need to be motivated to change just remember if you stay with him your sons will grow up to treat their wives the way he treats you and your daughters will grow up to marry a man just like their father. Be a good example to them and either leave, or better yet, boot him out. You pay the bills, you make the rules.

Answer 4

That`s what Abusers do! "Charm their way back in". It won`t stop until YOU stop it. If you`re putting up with him, then where is HIS Motivation to change? There is none, he has it made! Don`t you think you are worth more than this? He treats you bad, so NO, he is NOT good with the kids. A good father would NOT treat his children`s mother like CRAP. Wake up, honey, before 10 more years pass or 20 or more and then what`cha gonna do? If you don`t do it for you, do it for the safety of the children. There has got to be someone who can help you out!
Good Luck!

Answer 5

that's obtrusive after interpreting your question which you fairly do nonetheless choose to be with him. issues can artwork out if the two considered one of you choose it to, and additionally you're a million/2 way there. My husband and that i grew to enhance into distant a on an analogous time as in the past, yet now issues are going large between us. And this is all as because of the a action picture and a e book. i might advise giving your dating one final try, bypass watch the action picture "Fireproof" then purchase the "40 day love dare undertaking" or google it. a pal presented this to me, and in the commencing up i assumed it grew to become into rubbish, yet I gave it a bypass and that i've got no longer any regrets. i fairly desire each and everything works out and which you're satisfied.

Answer 6

In what way is he good with his kids? He treats their mother disrespectfully, refuses to support his family and doesn't act like a man and get the help he needs. AA is free.

You must be enjoying the abuse because it seems you are already being responsible for the family and letting him get a free ride. Either stand up for your family and tell him to get lost or stop complaining.

Answer 7

Leave him. He lies about the drinking and he can't even read!! If it's that hard, get yourself some therapy. Often colleges have student counselling centres to help students with their personal problems, it's usually free or low cost.

Answer 8

Invest in a book by Melodie Beatty called "Co-Dependent No More".

Answer 9

There is a lot to say here. Feel free to IM me, I would be glad to help.

Answer 10

your weakness is the only reason he choose you...its the only strength he has...leave and allow him to hit bottom...its going to get worse before it gets better...leave for your kids sake at least.