Jealous or unappreciated and forgotten?

Question

I am a stay at home mom w/ PT jobs. My husband works a 40hour work week.but I do EVERYTHING I mow, weedeat, cook, clean, laundry, budget, grocery shop, take care of the 6 pets, get luches ready, work, pay the bills...ect(I think you get the point). All he does is work and watch our son for maybe 4 hours at a time. So can you explajin to me why I am still waiting for my gym membership, my pedicure, my manicure, my massage, and my break. He made these plans before he ever talked to be so I had to go ask my family for money to pay bills since my husband already gave the money to his brother so they clould go rent a car, drive to dallas texas, stay at a hotel and go to six flags for 2 days. He never even invited me. I don't think he deserves it. YOu know he never once thought where the money is going to come from for day care. Or how I was going to work.(there is more to the story but no more room) Am i just jealous or do I have a good reson to feel unappreciated and forgotton?

Answer 1

you have many reasons to feel unappreciated.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like you're the doormat! I think your man needs a little reality check. HIRE a lawncare service to do the yardwork that he could/should be doing! Use a little of the money that you earn to treat yourself.
Your husband needs to know that because you don't have a full time PAYING job ( being a wife and mother are full-time jobs!) doesn't make you a second class citizen. You deserve a break. What about saving up for a little weekend getaway?
Look for two-for-breakfast deals, or something like that in a not too distant town, leave your son with a family member, and enjoy some time alone with your husband. Sometimes that chance to get away together is all you need---and you can do it for well under $200

Answer 3

Hi wonder81084,
Yeah that sounds like "unappreciated" and "forgotten". But let's not press the panic button yet. Have a heart to heart talk with him. Sometimes people have this habit of assuming that "because you're not voicing out, so everything must be ok"..Give him a piece of ur mind. Tell him everything you're writing to us now & more then go from there. Tell him about ur being "forgotten"..but don't make it sound like a confrontation. Just go straight with him. Always start with the most simple solution which is telling him straight about it..sometimes that's all it takes for him to make changes..Don't expect anything dramatic either. But notice every little things he does..Sometimes the effort is already there but coz he's not going at the pace u want him to, u feel he's not trying to change. This require patience & understanding..Yes, u might say "hey, im d one forgotten & im d one that should be patient??"..Yes, that's the only way now to make things work out for the better.

Answer 4

Dang girl you have a lot of reason..I am only 17 and my boyfriend is willing to pay for my trips to see him & everything once I'm there so a man you are married to should be willing to take some time off to make sure YOU get a break. You are worth just as much as he is and from what you're saying you need to remind him of that. Make sure he knows he married a wife & not a slave. You seem to be at your wits end and it's best to bring this up before it causes more problems in your marriage, especially since there's a child involved in it. That, or just walk up to him one day and say I AM taking a break and I AM going to go shopping & relax or go on vacation. Since he didn't invite you then you shouldn't invite him! I could never be with a man who didn't put my needs before his own because I would put his before mine! Love is supposed to be 50/50! Remember that & don't let anyone make you think you're jealous. =]

Answer 5

there is a fine line between being a good spouse and a doormat. if he made plans before, than dont resent him. now take charge of yourself and let him know that you need to do something. as for your gym membership, you can do that on your own. why are you waiting for him to give that to you? also, i do all that stuff at home.... my husband is gone for a year or so, so i work out alot. if that is not so easy for you and you need the time away, have you tried bally? thats fitness for women. they work in circle drills. high impact for a short period of time. that worked for my mom. i feel you on everything that you said, but sometimes you have to be your own person, ya know?

alot of women will say you have every reason to feel unappreciated, but men think differentlly when it comes to this... step outside your emotions, and view it from a mans point of view

Answer 6

I am sorry but my wife doesn't really say to much about getting nails done other than she is going to get her nails done. Every once in a while she will ask if we have the money before nails or especially hair because that can get expensive. But she wouldn't take this, I wouldn't take this. And if you have a support system to help you get on your feet, (friends or family) I might even be saying good bye.

Answer 7

You have good reason, yes , to be upset. Has he done this before? I know the awnser to that sure he has. Try to get away even once a month to a movie. Trade babysiting with a friend, maybe a mothers day out in the area. I know it's frustrating.

Answer 8

It doesn't sound like you and your husband get to communicate as clearly as you should. Maybe you could take some time to sit him down and talk about things (not nag or complain - but actually talk). I hope you two get to figure something out, you both deserve to be happy with each other.

About your manni and pedi - DO IT. If my husband EVER told me "no you can't get your hair done!" Women like to be pampered, and feel like they look sexy, when wives are happy it makes a husbands life a better so you win that battle hands down!!!

Answer 9

You have every reason in the world to feel unappreciated! When he gets home from work one night, take him and plant him firmly in a chair and talk to him. He may (somehow) not realize this, and may not realize how he's treating you and making you feel. And who knows, he might have his own concerns or worries. (Ex: Works so much because afraid that money isn't going to come in, go bankrupt, etc.)
I'm praying for you,
Good luck!

Answer 10

i am going thru the same thing right now with my bf. i asked him if he could maybe just say oh babe you look nice if i put a lil extra umphf in to my appearance... just notice me
show you appreciate all i do for you
if you get up to get a drink ask me if i want something
nothing we are asking for is an unreasonable request.
i think they get complacant with us and know we won't b!tich or leave them so they can get away with half assing the relationship.
i however laid it out tonight for him and said if he can't give me what i want and treat me how i should be treated to leave...
guess i'll see if he's home when i get off work in the am.

Answer 11

You are unappreciated.

Tell him your thoughts and feeling without whining, crying, yelling etc. If he is not willing to make some changes...and most do not see the need.

Your options are stay and continue as is or move on.

If you can do all the chores, etc. then you can certainly survive alone as a strong, independent, woman!!!!!

Good luck!