young poets pls help me with this poem?

Question

pls rate thiss????????/
I look upon the furthest star,
To see how close we truly are,
Our distance just miles and miles apart,
Or perhaps even oceans apart,
I think of ways of getting close to you,
So that I can see what you truly are,
You reflection full of perfection,
Or simple just a bright star,
I gaze and gaze at the lonely sky,
And see nothing but the lonely moon,
It’s world full of darkness,
As mines as well too,
The stars sparkle their brightness,
Giving accompany to the lonely moon,
I wish you were near not as far the furthest star that appears
So that I can show you my greatest fear,
Life without you my dear,
Being next to me...

Answer 1

will take all your fears away
being close to me will take your breath away
I need you with me
close to my heart
confidently soon we will never be apart

Answer 2

Try spliting it into stanzas of 2-4 lines to make it look better and easier to read. I noticed you rhymed some lines then stoped at others. Seperate those into different stanzas, one those rhyme and those that don't. I personally thought it was really good, visual, descriptive. However, remember to keep the lines short, 4th to last would drive people crazy to read. 9/10. Keep writing!

Answer 3

Nice.

Why don't you just keep everything
in the sky.

Instead of " oceans apart ",

change it to " planets apart ".

I like it.

Answer 4

i think it is good but you go back and forth with the style you r writing you poem in other wise great poem