One Flew Over the Yahoos Nest (apologies to Ken Kesey)
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Alec the Dalek couldn’t sleep. For the umpteenth time, the orderlies had taken Buk away from him and his fellow inmates, following a particularly subversive act: the staging of the “Buk Show” during group therapy, which tickled many but clearly did not sit well with Nurse Rabbi. Cursing, kicking, and hurling Vienna sausages, Buk had been dragged off, and now it was midnight.
The Dalek bolted with the sound of doors opening from down the hall. Alec hastily jumped back into his bed, tucking his stuffed pickle under his plunger arm, and pretended to sleep. Moments later, the orderlies walked into the room, escorting a very blank-faced and catatonic Buk to his mattress.
After the orderlies left, Alec came to Buk’s bed, eager to catch up with his friend. But Buk only lay back against the pillow, motionless.
2007-07-30 17:46:40 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
A wristband indicated that the otherwise rugged, sausage-eating vagabond had received “corrective” surgery.
“Oh no,” muttered the Dalek. Cursing Nurse Rabbi and those who had impaired his friend, Alec took the pillow from a quietly snoring Lt. Dan, and pressed it firmly against Buk’s face.
“What the hell ---- ? You damn Dalek!”
Visions of Buk and Alec cooking sausages in the back alley during the first YA! Prom filled the grieving Dalek’s mind. Then tender recollections of decorating Alec the Dalek’s first Christmas tree with sausage casings, stiff pants, and chicken bones came to him, as did the time they went fishing with curly fries and caught a horse carcass……
“ ---- they took my tonsils out, I’m just recov—GASP – recovering…!”
Moments later, the thrashing and kicking had ended. Alec removed the pillow, revealing a very terse and grumpy looking Buk.
2007-07-30 17:47:02 · update #1
“Well, I hope he’s happier where he is now,” muttered Alec, casually plopping the pillow on top of Lt. Dan’s face. “Now to escape from this horrible place.”
Alec went into the main lobby, where a large drinking fountain was firmly installed. After multiple – and unsuccessful – attempts to lift it out of the floor and through the reinforced window, the Dalek simply pulled Ajsansker from his bed and hurled him through the glass and steel mesh. The deafening clamor of falling glass and Ajsansker singing “We Built This City On Rock and Roll” awoke the rest of the slumbering P&Sers.
“Woo hoo!!” cried Wayward Drifter, as Alec the Dalek hovered out of the asylum and into the wilderness. He too, had remembered curly fries.
2007-07-30 17:47:37 · update #2
WOMBAT, Spoon, and ChiliMan cheered on Alec the Dalek, racing across the lawn in the night air, towards freedom. Their cheers would be more subdued after Alec, upon getting lost and calling Nurse Rabbi at home for directions, was promptly returned by the orderlies two hours later.
“What’ll we do with the stiff?” said one particularly pimply-faced orderly who liked reporting P&Sers without due cause.
Nurse Rabbi looked at the blue, cold form of Buk and pointed towards the storage shed. “There”.
“Oh yeah, forgot,” said the orderly, lifting the body and carrying it over to where more than 400 other Buks already lay in state.
A second later, there was a knock on the door. A smiling, grizzled man without pants and a stocking cap poked his head through the door, much to the delight of the inmates and the deep chagrin of the Nurse.
“Who wants kielbasa?”
END
2007-07-30 17:48:04 · update #3
This is so much fun....I really hope the YA team are reading this....
2007-07-30 20:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 13⤊ 0⤋
Oh, how you vilify me! Me of the nursing profession. Don't you know that the actions we had to take for Buk were in his best interests? Ok, so maybe he was a bit "over cooked" but in the interests of the Yahoo community, it was the best option.
Why, without our needed "adjustments" of the contributing members, what would happen? I'll tell you what would happen. Judas Rabbi would be de-throned, anarchy would reign, and people would actually have a chance to laugh.
No, no. That can not be allowed to happen!
Medication is the first option. The numbing of the senses and a general authoritarian presence is the first step. If that is not enough to stifle the creative spirit, then the ultimate solution must be used.
SUSPENDED!
Oh, yes, Buk and his ilk have made a mockery of our controlled environment. But we shall prevail.
We know what is best.
But we wonder why he keeps coming back.
Oh, there he is again..
ELECTRO-SHOCK ROOM 128! STAT!!!!!
2007-07-31 02:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
how real it is it. didn't take much, and we were all actually there. scary at first, til the medication set in. then i felt like a zombie. but buk made us all laugh and feel alive...even the big quiet dalek seemed to feel something inexplicable and it became apparent that this machine man had a huge soul.. but after days into weeks of the nurse rabbi's taunting the anger started to well inside of us. the buk man was taken from us, and all we started cheeking our meds instinctually. and then it happened...what a story dalek, it was so real (i still repeat myself alot. the doctors call it echolalia, or was that henry miller who accused me of that?) i never felt so happy as when the smiling buk appeared with sausage. your bravery will never be forgotten mr. dalek.
2007-07-30 18:49:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
What a great story. It should be made into a movie....oh wait, nevermind...
Buk is immortal, Nurse Rabbi should know that by now.
2007-07-30 17:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You always make my day Dalek...If that inspirational story doesn't give us p&sers hope nothing will...we all await the coming of Buk...Well I mean we hope he shows back up on p&s, don't want to see him playing doctor with jrs mommy...ewwwww!
2007-07-31 00:26:42 · answer #5 · answered by Leepal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Another fine read...I was wondering what that noise was out front. I was playing ping-pong in the rec room...nobody else wanted to play, so I folded the table in half, shoved it into the corner and played against the wall.
2007-07-30 17:52:42 · answer #6 · answered by Tut Uncommon 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boo biscuit--you done got me hard! :) You know what I don't get about that joke though? The fourth Catholic man whose son is the Pope. Do you have any freakin' idea how old he'd have to be?!
2016-04-01 02:14:55 · answer #7 · answered by Kristina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness, I nearly wet myself it was hilarious! You make me laugh. I thought this was going to be a Dalek manifesto, but it turned out to be better!
2007-07-30 18:20:19 · answer #8 · answered by Agent D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Smile....I love happy endings. Especially ones, involving the bearded one.... No apologies needed for that one, Alec..... Wow .... is all I can say....It had me by the seat of my pants, the whole way through....thanks for that!!!
2007-07-31 09:26:32 · answer #9 · answered by Rowan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This reinavatarcarnation phenomenon warrants further research.
I noticed even "kubby" got zapped and I don't believe it was even established if he was in fact "Buk"
2007-07-30 18:04:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Light?????....um....how does a dalek...bolt? don't you need a wrench for that???
LOL!!...great story!!....excellent use of various characters...and even a moral at the end.....wasn't there....
2007-07-30 17:55:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋