Why are so many husbands like this?

Question

Im always reading questions on here from men who have a problem with their wife's weight..How come these men dont love them unconditionally yea i know when these men marry their wife she is thin but vows say for better or worse..Im sure these men arent perfect..My husband and i have been happily married 16 yrs and i am about 260 but he met me this way,married me this way and it has never bothered him 1 bit cause he loves me more then anything and is still very attracted to me..When we married i was over 200 and have lost and gained over the yrs but i am trying to lose again for me NOT for him...If you really and truly love someone then a little bit of weight gain shouldnt matter..So what is up with these men?

The only reason he would want me to lose is for my health otherwise it doesnt bother him.

Hey mad i didnt tell my husband he had to love me unconditionally so **** you.

Answer 1

I wish you all the success in the world with your weight loss. This will be very beneficial for you health and I glad to hear that you are married to a man who sees past the nonsense that determines women must be thin. You are obviously a very attractive person to him inside and out but as you have said health issues are a problem with excess weight. This will cut down your chances of diabetes, high cholesterol, joint problems, heart disease etc.
It is refreshing to hear a woman who loves herself unconditionally and is losing some weight only for herself. I imagine you will be successful and I wish you all the best.
You found a wonderful mate and I wish you many more happy years.

Answer 2

That's a good question... I met my husband way back in the 6th grade but, we didn't start dating until we were about 17 yrs old. I was very thin and very attractive. He was athletic and handsome.. We dated for about 12 yrs. after and through thick and thin.. We have settled into our looks after 4 yrs. of marriage and 2 children later.. We both know that we love each other even though we've both put on some weight.. That's not why we are together, we have a bond and love each other very much.. Though I wish I could be as thin and attractive as I was in high school it's unrealistic. However, I would like to lose some weight to be healthier- not that my husband has anything to say about it.... The men that you describe are moron's plain and simple dont' worry they will be fat, bald with beer guts.... Good luck

Answer 3

i ws about to ask my own simaler question when i saw yours... my hubby and i met a few yrs back. and at a time when i had been ill, lost 50 lbs. so i was about 150.... and looked kinda bony in some places. still had big boobs and butt tho... now after 1 yr engagement, when i put on 20 "stress" lbs. then we married. he knew what i looked like. then 1 mo after married we got pregnant. well i still carry extra weight. i am currently about 200lbs, 5"7 tall.. our daughter is 2 yrs next week. he told me while pregnant i was beautiful. and i know he meant it. then when she was about 1 he started calling me fat. that if he knew i was going to look like this he would never have married me... i have health problems so immediate weight loss just does not happen. now tho we got a new puppy and i have started walking every day. for my baby, the puppy and myself. and have slowly lost about 13 lbs... he will on occasion say not nice things. and one day i wrote him a letter, and told him, that one day i will be thin and healthy again, and maybe then i will no longer find him attractive anymore.... well along with some other choice things in this letter i think he finally got the messege that he was causing me tears and hurt.

Answer 4

I love this question. "unconditional" "for better or for worse". First off let me say that I like women with a little padding. In fact I love women of all shapes and sizes. Here is my problem, mainly with people like you. I agree with the better or worse part, but how about the wife stressing in the better part. Not all men are as shallow as you make them out to be. Yes, there are many men having a problem with their wife gaining fifty plus pounds. A mans wife is a reflection of him and his decisions. Why do so many women think that they have the right to gain over fifty pounds and then tell their husbands, you are supposed to love me unconditionally? Yes, we still love you but take a little pride in yourself. When you start that, maybe we can have a little more pride in you.

Answer 5

I can agree with everything you said up until the ' i am trying to lose again for me NOT for him' part. Honestly why would you need to make that distinction if the love in your marriage was so pure?

These things work both ways. Maybe we should all focus on how to better ourselves before atacking those different.

Answer 6

They are sad, little minded people.

When I see things like that I translate them as :

"I need my wife to be less, talk less, take up less room, and demand a smaller portion of my resources. I want control over her body and I want to use that control to diminish her. I want her to shrink, I want her to keep getting smaller until she disappears"

The funny thing about the weight of a woman is that people tend to think that "fixing" the number on the scale will fix everything else. ie-You will be happy, you will have a good job, find a good man, be smarter, and you will have fun at parties and you will love how you look in a swim suit, and all of your problems will just go away if you could just loose weight.

Maybe these men have bought into that message, and have convinced themselves that the mortgage would be easier to pay and the kids would be better behaved and that promotion would come through- if that number on his wife's scale would just go down.

But I think my translation is closer to the mark- they are advertising their desire to turn their wife into the invisible woman.

Answer 7

I think the better question is why have these women let themselves go? And why are they so insecure that they insult their husband for being concerned with their health and wanting to stick by the woman and help her become healthy again?

Its not the men who are shallow, its the women who are too shallow to look at themselves with an objective view.

Answer 8

You're right, they should love their wives for better or worse...and most of them do. What I think people should care about more is their health, not attraction....Weight puts strain on the body in lots of ways....if they really love you, they would tell you to lose pounds for that purpose.

Answer 9

So many husbands are like that because when the vows say "for better or for worse" they are only able to see what they are getting at the moment. They aren't able to see their sexy little bride, 3 kids later, wearing a size 18 and **** down to the floor. They don't really fall in love with the person, they fall in love with the "attraction". Once the attraction is gone, there is nothing there for the man to be interested in.

Answer 10

I expect many thumbs down for this but I am compelled to post it anyway:

Ask yourself "What differentiates me from pure spirit?"

Most of you will answer "my body" since most of you expect to have some sort of consciousness and understanding when you are no longer on this planet..

Doesn't it make sense then that if you're here incarnated in a body on earth, that one of the criteria if not the primary criteria for judgment when you pass, if indeed there is judgment, is how well you took care of your body on earth?

This translates to exercising and eating properly. Your obesity, or in some cases anorexia, reflects your spirit . These conditions indicates that you are stuffing your perceived problems down your gullet rather than confronting them and working to overcome them.

It short, you are judged on how well you overcame obstacles in this incarnation.

Thank you in advance for your disapproval..