If you believe the time is right to have a baby, can you have one while using a condom?

Question

I want to have a baby sooo bad. My husband is not ready to have a baby. He wants one but just feels he is not ready. He can't give me any reasons why he isn't ready. I am not on birth controll. The only form of protection that we use is a condom. He told me that when the time is right, I will get pregnant while using a condom. He just doesn't want to increase his chances right now. I know him very well and I don't think he will ever feel ready. We have tried setting different dates when we will try but everytime these dates come around, he doesn't want to try and backs out. I don't want to push him but he made a comment once, really quick and never again, a while ago, that if I want to have a baby, then I am just going to have to force him by not allowing him to use a condom. I don't want to do that because that wouldn't be fair. Should I believe that if we were meant to have a baby right now, we would have one even if he is using a condom? Thank you for your thoughts.

Answer 1

ummm.............. do u really believe you can get pregnant using a condom?? its a form of birth control!!

Answer 2

Ummmm the whole point of making condoms is to prevent pregnancy, but yes I have heard people say they got pregnant while using them. They can break and somehow get holes in them. Women even get pregnant while on the Pill even though they haven't missed one or been on antibiotics.

As for the comment he made to you...Is it fair for him to not allow you to have a baby? My husband always told me "No kids" even though he knew since we were teenager that I wanted two children. Then as we got a little older he changed to "One kid but not right now." Finally one day I told him that I stopped taking my birth control pills and he said "oh". A couple months later I was pregnant and when I told him he said "Weren't you taking your pills?" Long story short....our little girl has him so wrapped around her little finger that it's funny!!!! For some reason a lot of guys are really strange when it comes to kids...Responsibility, no more parties or staying out late, etc.

Keep talking to him tell him how you feel and I guess if nothing else throw away the condoms!

Good Luck

Answer 3

There is no such thing as being "meant" to do anything it is your choice. The fact is, you will never be ready to have a kid. He is just nervous. Maybe you can let him see that you are ready and ease his worry by looking up information on how much it will cost, what you need to look forward to in the future. Men just get spooked and they don't know how to tell you.
Don't ever think that time is right when you have an accident haha. The time will be right when you can financially support a kid, and you both are willing to commit the time to raise the child. You can get pregnant with a condom, there are many people who do.

My husband tells me hes not ready also and gets nervous but our sister in law just had a baby and as soon as he held him he wanted one. Does your husband like children? Our friend said a good way to have a kid when the man doesn't want one is to duct tape him to you so he can't pull out. Try it! Just kidding. I imagine hes just scared to have one. It should be you whose scared, you have to give birth to it!

Answer 4

You know that is not true.Even if you want to believe it because you love your husband so much that you would believe anything he says.Or maybe you want to believe it as you see it as your only chance of having a baby right now.I am more or less in the same situation.My partner says he wants a baby but just not right now.But truth is that we don't use condoms all the times.He usually asks me if we need one.So guess in a way he is letting me decide.Why don't you tell your husband to use condoms only in the few days that you are most fertile.That way, if it happens you can consider that it was meant to be.But it would be better to have a serious talk with him.I know I should have a talk with my partner too.So if you do have a talk and all goes well please give me some tips on how to go about that...
Good luck to you!!

Answer 5

While reading your question, I got the feeling that the desparate part of you that yearns for a baby wouldn't be against tampering with your birth control methods in order to force the issue. Above all else, DON'T do anything to push your husband into doing something that he doesn't want to do. Eventually it will destroy your marriage. You DO deserve to have some real reasons for his hesitance for starting a family with you. You may need to seek out a marriage counselor to sort this all out. He may have some anxiety issues or feel some other fears about raising children. Do whatever you can to open those lines of communications. Having a child should be a decision you make together, not one forced or made for itself.

Answer 6

Condoms have a 14% failure rate, but that's not the issue here...I think you and your husband need to have a serious heart to heart about why you should or shouldn't have a baby....is the timing good, bad...why why not...etc. It might also help to get some marriage counselling to help talk about your feelings and get things worked out between you.

If you do end up getting preg while using condoms, I have a feeling your husband will still be upset even he says it would be ok.

Answer 7

If you're on birth control and using a condom, it's highly unlikely that you could get pregnant.

It sounds like you really need to have a sit down with your husband and get a straight forward response to why he doesn't want a baby. Maybe it's something you can work out. There's gotta be some reason for him being so against it. You need to sort things out with your husband first.

Answer 8

just leave it up to chance. i know its hard when you want to have a baby but you have to wait but if you tricked him or made him he would end up resenting you so just wait until he is on the same page. the truth is that having a baby is sooo stressful on a relationship and if he isn't ready then don't force him. let me put it this way the majority of couples i know end up splitting up or at least having serious problems b4 there first child's second birthday. also try to tell him that no one is ever ready and that you really want to have a baby and you need him to commit to a date and stick with it. even if at that time he is only willing to stop using condoms but doesn't want to actively try. good luck i know its hard to wait and i really hope he changes his mind.

o and i wanted to add that for couples who use condoms on average with typical use 14% of couples will get pregnant within one year.

Answer 9

Honestly, it sounds like hes not ready to have a baby. Unfortunately theres nothing you can do about it. I would have to suggest that you sit down and have a serious talk about it and explain that you are ready to be a Mom. At this point, it sounds like yes...if you are meant to have a baby, you will become pregnant even with a condom, unless he happens to change his mind. Dont push him if hes not ready. I hate to say it, but I have heard it a million times, do not "try" to get pregnant. Chances are at this rate, he might leave you if you do get pregnant. I am a single mom myself, and have talked to alot of other single moms, many many relationships of both married and unmarried couples end due to pregnancy.

Answer 10

I understand the urge to have a baby. They are so full of love. BUT, if he isn't ready, it would be wrong to get pregnant without his ok. Condoms are not all that effective so it could happen. Maybe you could get him to warm up to babies by babysitting a friend's kid and letting him help. You should observe how he reacts to the baby and if it's not good, then forget about it for now.

Answer 11

It is possible to get pregnant using a condom. Like all forms of birth control, condoms are not 100% effective.