My husband says he loves me yet he gets high with other girls at his job and gives out his phone number to the

Question

I believe he is not cheating on me. But I think it is disrespectful of them and him to be calling each other outside of work. If they came here toOUR home and visited when I am here ,it would be different. Am I wrong? I dont get high,but they do. I am not going to start either.I feel like they are laughing at me behind my back. I don't need other men. I only have eyes for my husband. He told me that he wants females to like him because he has some issues. I don't accuse him of cheating,I just think that my home is my territory and he is MY husband. They should keep their friendship at work and leave it there unless they want to come when i am here....uhoh..im rambling..is anyone else going thru this? Am i being narrow minded? I just want them to quit calling him is all..I do not think that is unreasonable..I t hurts me so bad inside. I want to be HIS only one. I pray to God everyday he will understand this is tearing me up. I don't know maybe I am nuts...what do u think?

Answer 1

You're right - it is extremely disrespectful of HIM. He is your husband, if you have made him aware that all of this behavior with other females is hurting you - if he really loves you, he would quit. You're smart not to start getting high - it won't do anything for you or improve your life. He shouldn't be doing it either. He needs to quit the grass, quit the women, find a new job where he's not around such activities and be a committed husband. He's right - he definitely has issues - immaturity and an inability to value and honor the committment of marriage he's made with you. He needs to fix them pronto. And everyone else who has already answered is absolutely correct - the boy is cheating on you, sorry, but the writing is on the wall. You deserve so much better than a druggie husband who disregards you emotionally and feeds off of the sexual attention from other drug using women.

Answer 2

This is exactly why I have avoided dating anyone who gets high. And the reason you feel like they're laughing at you, is because they're laughing at everything, probably including you, because they're high....
But yes, it's disrespectful of them, but it's disrespectful of your husband first and foremost. He's the one you need to be having a talk with. The girls wouldn't be calling if he wasn't encouraging them to do so. I don't know what sort of issues he could possibly have where he feels the need to have every woman around him like him...other than being a womanizer.
So, this is definitely something that I would be giving him a choice over. I couldn't live like that either, and you are not crazy or narrow minded.

Answer 3

You had best get off your knee's and make some rules. First off, it is completely unacceptable for a grown man to be getting high at work. Why would you enable this destruction immature behavior. You think it won't hurt him in the end? You spend a couple of Alanon meeting listening to your future and you will get the answer to that question.

Its your house and its your husband. If you don't expect better behavior from him, he'll live up to your expectations. Right now he sees you as a doormat, right there at home weeping over him cause he's getting high with his g/f's. If you don't pick yourself up and stop letting him walk all over you, this will be your life until he leaves you for another woman, or moves on to harder drugs or booze.

I think you need to ask yourself why you think you deserve so little respect by the man who promised to honor you?

Answer 4

I went through this with my ex-boyfriend, he was talking constantly with his female co-worker whenever he had the chance. They first started out as friends and before I knew it, he was staying later and later at work just to be with her. And lying and lying about how busy he was at work. Yes, it was hurtful and disrespectful to me, but he didn't care at all. But, the truth is your husband has obviously doesn't love and respect you at all either. It seems you are the only one in this relationship. Once, a man starts hanging out too long at work and giving out his number, he's no longer committed to you and what you think you have together. And yes, they are laughing about you behind your back. My loser confided his b**s***, to her too. All men do it to gain points with whom ever they are trying to make the moves on. He's telling these women everything, while you sit at home and suffer over him. Pray to God, so he could open you eyes and see what's going on. I did and I'm happier for it. I was just engaged to this loser for six years and giving him the boot was the best thing that ever happen to me. God, answered my prayers and now I'm free. You need to end this or decide to suffer day after day. You, are much more worthy of someone who will respect you and love you unconditionally. Kick, your lousy husband to the curb, because he seems to be having his cake and eating too. He's acting like a single guy and forgeting his wife at home.
Seek professional help, speak to a priest, or a friend you can trust. But always, always go with your gut feeling. It will always lead in the right direction.
Life is too short to waste on lousy men. There are so many out there who are worthy of you.
-Take care and good luck

Answer 5

I learned the hard way by losing my girlfriend of 3 years. Cheating isn't just sex. Thats what most men think. Cheating is doing anything with another woman that makes his wife/girlfriend uncomfortable and hurt from it. Don't let him continue what he is doing. Regardless of his issues from the past he shouldn't be doing anything like this with these other women. Explain this to him, if he chooses getting high with these other women over you, then you know here his priorities are.

Answer 6

I think you need to stop praying and start taking action. Let it be known that behavior is unacceptable and you'll support him getting counseling for his 'issues' but no more get togethers at your house, getting high, with other women. And although you may feel he's not cheating, my guess would be that he most likely is...don't blind yourself to that idea just because you don't want it to be true. Stoned sex is fun and I imagine all of the folks in that little group are aware of that.

Answer 7

First of all it is pure disrespect, second of all why are you with a weed head if that is not your lifestyle? You can't feel like he is obligated to treat you with respect if you don't respect yourself. 1. He gets high. 10 strikes. 2. He gives out his number. 2 strikes 3. He says he wants females to like him because he has issues. 3strikes for the excuses, 1 1/2 star for the truth " he has issues."

Answer 8

Talk to him about it,how long is he talking to the girls and how frequently are they calling? my ex used to have girls call him alot and he'd try to hide it from me so at least he's not doing that.

If the girls are calling frequently and they are talking for longer than 5 or 10 minutes that would be a problem. Tell him you dont mind if they call to hang out or ask about work or something but if they are calling and chit chatting thats a little strange.

I don't mind if my partner has girl friends but it would bother me a bit if he was showing them more attention than me. If they arn't calling that often or talking that much then I wouldn't worry to much,but if they are I recommend letting him know,if he gets mad,tough it's not right for him to put them before you.

Answer 9

He should be allowed to have friends but you said something about him needing to feel wanted by females? He is wrong for misleading them and therefore should stop his behavior.

I can understand why you feel the way you do (since he said he needs females to like him) but you also need to give him some space if he has female friends (but nothing more). You can be his one and only wife, but not the only female in his life. Ninety percent of my friends are females and I wouldn't accept my wife telling me to stop hanging around them.

I think you guys need to seek the services of a marriage counselor, or possibly talk to your paster (you sound like a religious person). Both of you have issues that need to be addressed.

Answer 10

I think you're nuts that you're worried about the female junkies calling him as being the huge issue here, instead of the fact you're husband is getting high. Seems like his co-workers are the least of your problems, you just don't know it yet.