do you like my poem?

Question

I Miss You

is it something i did
is it something i said
i think about you
as i lie in my bed

i try to remember your face
every detail of you
you are so wonderful
oh yes it is true

so when will you call me
i miss your kisses
i cant stand the suspence
for it is you i miss


by Audrey O

I Miss You

its been a week
what did i do
why havent we talked
i really miss you

is it something i did
is it something i said
i think about you
as i lie in my bed

i try to remember your face
every detail of you
you are so wonderful
oh yes it is true

so when will you call me
i miss your kisses
i cant stand the suspence
for it is you i miss

by audrey o

this is the full poem. i missed out on a part.

Answer 1

love the poem u need to put those on broadcast for youtube!

Answer 2

Audrey...nice name, by the way :) Your poem is not bad, not bad at all. There are some hard spots in meter and punctuation, and I'd make "kisses" just "kiss". Don't belittle yourself...you're not e.e.cummings, so you should use a capital "i", and don't forget to use those commas!

One more thing...look at this:

Is it something I did? is it something I said?
I think about you as I lie in my bed
I try to remember your face, every detail of you
You are so wonderful, oh, yes, it is true
So when will you call me, I miss your kiss
I cant stand the suspence...
for it's you that I miss

this is your poem...all I did was change the line breaks, capitalize a few words (especially "i") and voila! you have a poem that reads a little smoother...weird how that works, isn't it? Yes, it's couplets, which sound more sing-song at times, but the couplets were there before anyway. This makes them sound less choppy and the poem comes off more mature...even though I didn't change anything but format and punctuation.

nice poem, keep writing!

Answer 3

awesome. it's a little mushy for me but i'm just not a big romantic. it's a beautiful poem and i really like it. i write poetry too. and songs. if any of mine are about romance though, it always has something to do with vampires. i write good poems and songs though. u r a good poet. u should keep writing poetry. it could come in handy someday. i don't mean to self promote, but if u want i could show u some of my songs. they're a little weird, but they have really good stories in them.

Answer 4

When a women loves,
She loves with care,
When a women loves,
She's always there,
When a women loves,
She never compares,
When a women loves,
She loves with a dare,
When a women loves,
She gives her all,
When a women loves,
She takes the fall,
When a women loves,
She carries your seed,
When a women loves,
She's there to help lead,
When a women loves,
She loves with peace,
When a women loves,
She uplifts your feet,
When a women loves,
She loves with no reason,
When a women loves,
She brings in a new season,
When I love, I love with all my being.
How do you love ?

Answer 5

I think you have the tallent! Though your poem seems more like a song I love it!

Answer 6

I like the poem It's really good.

Answer 7

Wow. It seems like someone neglected you in this poem.

Answer 8

I like it do you like mine?

In memory of DBM.
A photograph, painted memories, Still visions of the past,
where our life that we had together will forever last.
Can I step inside a picture just to visit for awhile,
trace your smile with my hand and touch you once again?
Can I step inside a picture just to hold you in my arms
and drown inside your tender love and tease me with your charms?
Can I step inside a picture just to dance with you again
a slow one with the lights dim, and spin in circles in the darkness and start all over again?
Can I step inside a picture and make love with you once more
will you take me to your room, lay me down and shut the door?
Can I step inside a picture.........