Alcoholic Husband?

Question

My husband is an alcoholic, and I have come to believe that it is only a matter of time before it is over. I love him very much, but I know you cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. He doesn't see what the big deal is, having been raised in an alcoholic family. Anyhow, he has an excellent paying job, and I am disabled. We have two daughters, ages 3 & 2, and I am worried about what we will do financially when I kick him to the curb. He isn't abusive or beligerant at all when he drinks, he just likes to work alot when he has the buzz. I was never raised around drinkers though, and I do not want my children to be. So what should I do about the bills and such when he leaves? I have no family to turn to - actually, my disabled father depends on my husband and I - he lives with us. Any advice would be appreciated.

I am disabled and cannot work - otherwise that would be the FIRST thing I did. I am in a bad situation here.

Answer 1

Please don't let anyone tell you you're selfish to be unhappy being married to an alcoholic. It's not a healthy environment for your children. Is alcoholism a disease? Of course it is, but it can be managed and controlled if HE wants to do it.

Let me suggest joining FA (Families Anonymous), they even have an ongoing online meeting. It's a 12 step program designed teach you about making good choices for YOU, getting YOU healthy. I have no advice on your finances, but FA is a good place to start.

Answer 2

I had a friend who's sister in law was disabled and she collected some kind of state check every month due to her disability. I also have an ex sister in law who is just a complete WHACK job, mentally unstable (by her own choice) and she also gets a government check and doesn't work. Does your father get any income? If you divorce your husband more than likely you will be entitled to child support for the kids and also alimony for yourself. And by the sounds of it, since he makes a decent living, maybe you'll get a decent chunk of change. Look into your local county aid offices and see what they can do for you. You don't deserve this lifestyle and neither do your kids.

Answer 3

you need to sit your husband down and talk to him and tell him how you feel and what you are thinking of doing.
Alcoholics Anonymous is a very good program with a verygood recovery rate and there aremeetings all overthe world so there should be many in your home town. Also, Alanon is for people who are married or live with alcoholics. you might want to consider attending this meeting. See if your husband would even consider going to at least a few AA meetings
good luck and best wishes

Answer 4

Maybe you can ask him not to do this in front of the kids. I take it that you married him knowing this, so why the big change now? He is taking care of his responsibilities, and even supporting your father. He is also non-abusive, what is the serious problem all of a sudden. Being an alcoholic is a disease support him, like he supports your disability. And try to get him help. This is the father of your children, what are you planing just to kick him to the curb, ask for alimony and watch him drink himself to death. You can't be that selfish! Can you?

Answer 5

you need to see if you could get him to stop. He does not souund like a bad guy and maybe he needs it after a long day at work than coming home dealing with 2 kids and 2 disabled individuals. Tell him your worries about the kids.

Answer 6

You say you are disabled but you have children and I'm assuming you can care for them, so why not do day care for other children to make money if you have to.

Answer 7

get a job if you dont have one... save your money-- move on FOR your kids...