i might be pregnant and...my bf doesnt want me to have it?

Question

i might be pregnant and i told my BF but he told if iam to have an abortion,what should i do?i dont wanna have an abortion but why should i have it if he dont want it.

im happy because i know god choose me to perform this and i want it but what about if he dont wanna be with it?

me and him are the same age but the thing is that he think he is too young for that responsiblity but we are 16.

Answer 1

You have to do what YOU want. That's the bottom line. Boyfriends may come and go, but if you have this baby he/she will be around forever.

Answer 2

Melissa, talk to your mother and go to a doctor to get tested. Get an over the counter pregnancy test to be sure. Should you decide to have the child realize that it will be an uphill battle but with help from your parents you will be okay.

If you do not have the support of a mother, grandmother or guardian then the decision will be on you and you must decide what is right for your baby. Adoption is an option because there are many families who would love a new born. I am in the process of adopting and am happy that the mother made the choice to gift me with this baby.

As for the young man in question seriously learn from this that no matter how good something feels you are truly the only one who will be left holding the bag and the escape route is never easy...either deciding to abort which could lead to feelings of guilt and constant insecurity and worse possible infertility if performed incorrectly ;or to have the child and to always be in some level of poverty unless you have family support.

I pray that either way you decide to go that you learn to protect yourself from this type of mistake in the future. A child needs a mother and a father and you are not Hercules...it is tough to go it alone.

I hope that you are not so that you can just be a teenager and go to the movies and be silly. Life is waiting for you and there is no rush. After this either keep your legs closed or use protection....until he says "I do", he doesn't.

Blessings and hope to you.

Answer 3

It is, of course, complicated. But remember that it is your body and thus your decision. Don't let him force you into doing something you don't want to do!

There are several things to consider. First, how old are you? I do not know if you are 16 or 26, and that can make a big difference in deciding whether or not to keep the baby. Secondly, how long/seriously have you two been dating? Is it just a year or so or have you been dating for years? This is important because if you have a baby then it is his responsibility to help you raise it. Next, consider what you're doing now and what you're planning to do. Are you in school now, or planning to go back to school at some point? Would you be able to get maternity leave from your job? Would you be able to support a baby on your wages? Who would help you raise the kid if your boyfriend was unsupportive?

Also, why do you not want to have an abortion? I am not saying that you should, just inquiring as to your reasons. Is it against your religion/morals, or are you concerned about medical issues, or do you want to raise a child? If you choose not to abort but don't want to (or can't) raise the child, then of course you can always put it up for adoption.

You and your boyfriend need to sit down and have a good long talk about what you're both going to do... this is not punishment, it's just the adult thing to do, and if you can't be adult then you can't raise a child. Discuss living arrangements, finances, the reasons he wants you to abort, the reasons you don't want to abort, a possible family later on, the nature of your relationship... everything! It will make things 100% easier if you talk things out, no matter what you finally decide. But I would hate for you not to talk it over and then get hurt, whether by aborting and then wishing you'd had the kid, or by having the kid and then wishing you'd aborted.

Just remember: it is your body, and no one else's. It is your right, and your right alone, to do what you decide is best.

EDIT: Now that I know you are 16, I can offer some more specialized advice. I respect that you object to abortion for religious reasons, and will not push it on you, even though I think that is by far the best option.

I cannot suggest enough that if you are going to have the baby that you put it up for adoption. As a young woman, you have a great deal ahead of you, and a baby can prevent you from that. At sixteen, no one is ready to handle the responsibility of having a baby, no matter how responsible they are, and anyway it will make it extremely difficult if not impossible to finish high school, go to college or trade school, and get a job that can support you and your baby. Not only would you be severely limiting your life, you would not be able to give the child everything s/he needs and deserves. Please, please, please... if you decide to give birth, place the child up for adoption.

Also, you need to talk with your parent(s) and your doctor, and decide the best course of action. Would your parents be able to help you carry the baby to term? Are you physically able to carry a baby without developing a lifethreatening condition like preeclampsyia or gestational diabetes? Are you willing to go through all the pain of carrying a child? Remember that even though you are old enough to make many decisions for yourself, other people can see things you can't and have a lot more life experience than you and have your best interest at heart. Listen to your parents and your doctor.

Answer 4

I am only 16 and i just turned 16 a little over a month ago... When i was 12 i had sex for the first time... it was unprotected and he didn't want it. I kept the baby and i thought i was too young for the responsibility until i looked into my baby in the eyes and saw what future it had and the life that i had created. The relationship i was in was over i was with him for only 2 weeks; i thought that i was going to be with him forever... that didn't last... Okay now something that i think you should understand... A relationship with a guy can be replaced there are other people that will love you for you and what ever you chose... DO NOT CHOSE A CHOICE THAT WILL AFFECT YOU AND A LIFE THAT HAS NOT EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE LIFE (if your pregnant).
Life will be rough and you will have a lot of ups and downs for a long time but the best thing about it, is when your down your kid will try there hardest to bring you up. Mistakes can turn into miracles and that is something that only god controls. If you ever need anyone to talk to email me. I hoped that i helped... you can come to me for any advice if you are pregnant and if you aren't than just remember how close you came this time around. Love Anna

Answer 5

Legally, you as the female have the right to choose whehter you want to abort or not; your boyfriend does not have this right.

Therefore, do whatever YOU think is right, even if your boyfriend disagrees.

Chances are, forgive me for saying this, but statistically the relationship probably will not last no matter what you do with your baby. Just imagine, if you decide to do something just because of his wishes, you may regret it the rest of your life if you and your boyriend split.

If you don't want the abortion, then don't get the abortion---even if your boyfriend disagrees. Just be sure you know the responsibilities.

Answer 6

First of all, you need to find out for sure if you are pregnant. Take a test or go to planned parenthood. If you go to planned parenthood to get it done and it comes up positive you will get a paper that is called proof of pregnancy. It will be very helpful to have that just so you don't have to keep retesting for doctors etc.

If you don't want to have the baby but don't want an abortion, you might want to consider adoption. Babies actually do get adopted very quickly. But before you make a decision, make sure that you are not just doing it for your boyfriend. Please don't let him bully you into making the wrong choice for you, or you might end up regretting it for the rest of your life.

Answer 7

This is your decision to make, not his. For me, I could never ever abort my baby. So this lies with you. There are other options that you can consider, such as, have the baby and raise him or her, or there are loving parents out there looking for a baby to give love and a home to if that is what you choose to do. I know that with adoption you could even choose the family in some situations.

This is the life of your child you are talking about, you don't get redos, you can't undo this, this baby deserves a chance at life. You have other options besides abortion. Look into adoption in your area or look into what is offered in your area for young moms.

My best advice is: don't let your boyfriend decide for you, ditch him. Good luck!

Answer 8

Personally, I am totally against abortions, but if you feel that is your last resort and I do mean last then you do what you feel you have to do.

I will tell you this....there are PLENTY of single mothers out here that do fine with their children. So don't be scared of being a single mother.

I am pregnant now and single and 20 years old. I have no idea if the baby's father wants to get back with me. We were dating for four years and I got pregnant when we broke up because we were still sleeping together. I have no intentions of giving this baby up or having an abortion. If he doesn't want to be here for his child, then that is okay. Life has to move on.

Email me [e-mail]

Answer 9

I im 16 as well and if I was pregnet I definitly would not have a abortion because thats like killing a human being I wouldn't do that. If I was in your situation I would go to my parents for help even though you don't want to thats the best thing to do. If you can aford to keep the baby I would but, if you can't theres always adoption but thats hard to give up your baby.

Answer 10

if u want it keep it i think that it does not matter what the guys think b/c he does not have to go throw labor so if want this baby have it. and if did not want it then ask him why did u have sex and coum u know? soit is not a game it is a life and u have to live with a guilt if u kill this poor lil baby that did not do anything worng u guys made it why does it have to sufer for it. sorry i am against abortion i think if u are old enough to have sex and make babies then u are old enough to keep it good luck and i hope u pick the right thing remember it does have a heart beat right this second so it is a baby and it does have feelings too

Answer 11

I would do what you want. If he doesn't want to step up to the responsibility than he should've never had sex to begin with. If you feel confident in raising the child on your own I'd say go for it. They're tons of other women out there who do it everyday. If he won't support you and the baby then he'll regret someday not seeing his child grow up. I wish you the best of luck. If you ever want to talk, send me an e-mail =0)