I have been married 7 monthes now. When I visited my parents in law's house just after I got married I saw one picture of my husband and his ex-wife and thier 2 kids together in her living room. Now she doesnt display that picture anymore but there is another picture of my husband and his ex-wife and his brother together. She has lots of pictures of my husband and his kids in her living room but not a single picture of me and my husband together. I know she has got lots of pictures of me and my husband together.I dont know what to think. I thought me and her really get along. we often talk on the phone and my husband said she really likes me and I really thought she really likes me too. she always said the kids really likes me and how great I am with the kids.Do you think I should ask her? Why she doesnt have any picture of me in her house? But I dont wanna be rude. It is her house she can hang anypictures she wants. I just feel like I am not a part of family.
2007-07-30 13:34:35 · 31 answers · asked by Jiny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How about you and your husband go out and have a beautiful professional picture done of yourselves - frame it in a lovely frame - and give it to her for a gift. Think she'll get it then?
2007-07-30 13:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing and I feel it is very disrespectful. Very easy for those on here to say just get over it, forget about it and send a picture.
I have given photos of me and my hubby to be a few years back, but none of us are up (TBH I don't want them up..it was a hint!). He has mentioned to her to take them down, but she won't and I'm yet to hear an explanation. The final straw for me was when we called to her house and a coaster turned up. I placed my drink down on it and looked closer at it...when I realised it was a picture of the two of them on their wedding day while he was carrying her over the threshold. Never seen it before that! I kicked it under the rug and I don't go around anymore. I used to enjoy going in the early days and I thought give it time she'll take them down. I have now been with my Hubby to be over 6 years. She lives 25miles away and if I was more inclined to go then she would see more of my other half because I am the one who encourages us to do stuff, so alienating me has proved she see's less of him.
I'd like to get hold of a picture of her and her ex-husband and place it right in the middle of my mantle place...but out of respect for my step-mother in law I wouldn't do that.
2015-12-29 08:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by Donna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go..it's her house. I'm sure she knows that there are no pictures of you. She probably doesn't see it as a big deal. Why start the drama over a picture?? If it bugs you so much and you feel insecure about it, talk to your husband, not her. Do you have pictures of her up in your house?
This other woman was part of her life for probably a long time and she can have a pic up if she wants. Don't feel such low-self esteem or think she doesn't like you. You know you are a good person. Your husband knows that. Who cares about some picture.
2007-07-30 13:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she has grandchildren then that is her granchildren's mother and it is more likely to do with her helping her grandchildren by not being nasty about their mother. If she were to remove all the pictures, it might hurt the little ones. I am sure she probably has no idea that it bothers you. Or she may not even have thought that hard about it. Next time you visit, make a joke and say something like 'here you, where's my picture?' If you keep it lighthearted, it gives her a chance to see the situation the way you do but without any hurt'. After that, then I like the idea (mentioned by others here) to get a nice framed one and then hand it to her as a continuation of your joke together. If you all laugh about it, she will probably enjoy having it all the more.
2007-08-03 10:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it ....its the same when i go to my outlaws lol and i see pictures of my hubby and his ex wife ...
It bothered me a little at first but now 8 years on its not a problem at all...its a part of his past and that's the way it is nothing will change that....but my husband loves me and I'm his present and future and that's all that matters to me.
Everyone has a history just that your husbands has photographic evidence ...
Also my outlaws still get on pretty well with my hubby's ex - wife so i cannot expect them to clear a path just for me as she had been a part of there lives for a very long time
I know exactly how you feel and sometimes i feel like an outsider when i go to my outlaws ...but as the years go by you will look back and think what the hell was i bothered about.
Things still ain't that smooth for me as I'm an outspoken kind of woman and they don't like it.....but they just have to accept that ...just like i have to accept the pictures of my hubby and his ex on there mantle piece and none of me and my husband but i don't give a ****
Good luck hun I'm sure you will find it eventually doesn't bother you at all :)
2007-07-31 01:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What happened to the ex-wife. Did they divorce or did she die? That would make a difference as to why she keeps the pictures and may be having trouble letting go.
7 Months is not very long. Give it a bit more time and then give her a lovely framed picture for a gift.
Meanwhile don't take this personally. Easy to say I know but you can't let this get you down.
2007-07-30 13:41:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't get caught up in minor things such as this even though it seems like a big issue to you right now. I've been in the same thing before. I myself put off changing pictures around. It's a chore. My daughter and her husband got a divorce and I still have pictures of them on my wall. She is now dating someone and he has come over to the house. It does seem like I should have already changed them out , it's just I keep forgetting about it. So, don't worry, it will eventually get changed or she could be allowing some to remain for the kids sake. If it bothers you that much I would suggest you talk to your husband and let him handle it since it's his mother.
2007-07-30 13:46:06 · answer #7 · answered by delorisjp 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
After I got divorced, my mother still kept things like that around the house. My girlfriend of 3 years felt awkward when my mom would always talk about my ex and stuff like that. I didn't blame her for feeling awkward I would have too. Sometimes people just don't think it bothers other people. Give her gifts of pictures of your new family now. She'll be kind of obligated to display them and may get the hint.
2007-07-30 14:04:48 · answer #8 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/9Qvip
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-01-29 00:32:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/yJuWL
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-21 15:40:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your husband about this? If he cares as much as you do maybe he should ask his mother. If he doesn't want to ask her it might be a good idea to pick a nice picture of you and your husband, put it in a frame, one that fits her decor and give it to her as a gift for Christmas, if you can wait until then, LOL. If she doesn't display that picture, I think it is safe to ask her why.
2007-07-30 14:35:14 · answer #11 · answered by M62 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋