What do you think of this poem?

Question

This is a very random poem I wrote one day. Please, can you give me your opinion on it?

Rain
it falls on a cloudy day
it falls from a face when you don't expect it
it can be dreary
or it can be dreamy
it can be cold
or it can warm one in different ways.
it is triggered by pain
but releases emotion
it shares its feelings because it is not shy
but it's deep.
it can be an awakening
and an alert
maybe it's a sign to revert
whatever the falling water might be
it's still rain to me.

Answer 1

not bad not bad at all keep up the good work

Answer 2

Please take this the right way: it reads like an assignment where the teacher says, "make a list of what rain is and make the last two lines rhyme".

I'm not being mean, really, I'm not. You said that this was a "random" poem...what exactly does that mean? Poems are "never" random...they are purposeful and should be deliberately done, not "randomly" done. Do you mean that you 'picked' it at random from a pile of your poems? If so, then forget about the above comment on randomness.

Now, try to rewrite your poem so it says the same things, but in a different way. For example, imagine this:

Rain
It falls from a cloudy day
onto a face unexpectant
Dreary or dreamy
warm drops or cold
triggered by pain in a release of emotion
sharing feelings because it's not shy
Deep, it can be an awakening
an alert? maybe a sign to revert
Whatever it might be
It's still rain to me

These are mostly your words, but they were spliced and turned...do you see how differently it reads, and I didn't have to change very much. That means you're on the right track, just a little off station.

good try, keep at it, don't be afraid to edit it until it feels right to you.

and keep writing!

Answer 3

Pretty cool...especially for a random poem..and if it expresses what you want to say--then it is great. I especially like the ending.

Answer 4

I think that was a great poem with a lot of rhyme words.

Answer 5

I like it especially about the postive and negative effects.

Answer 6

Its the best if its meaningful to you, in ways I will never understand but only wonder.

Answer 7

Just like any regular poem that I have read.

Answer 8

It is beautiful you should totaly be a poet

Answer 9

its kinda cool how the end changes to be rhyming. its cool.

Answer 10

That's beautiful!!