I am a 33 woman, he is 20 y/o. He wants to get married. What to do now?

Question

Well, after 6 months dating my 20 y/o loving baby proposed to me! I am happier than ever, but sometimes I wonder if the age difference is not too big and if he won't regret about marrying an older woman. He is pretty mature, is in the army, in deployment right now. He wants to get back the the States and build a family right away. Sometimes the rush sounds son romantic, sometimes it feels just like passion. Help plz...

Answer 1

LISTEN TO YOUR HEART FIRST. AND BESIDES THE POINT OF AN AGE DIFFERENCE JUST WAIT. ITS BETTER TO WAIT AND MAKE A RIGHT MOVE, INSTEAD OF WAITING TO CORE CT THE WRONG MOVE.

Answer 2

Confused Woman, you sound like your very confused about the reality of this relationship. And rightfully so, as this is a heck of an age gap. As well as maturity there will certainly be many other differences between the two of you. Some of these would include likes and dislikes in music, theatre, culture, and the fact that friends of you both may not be comfortable around someone either that much younger or older then they are. In reality, although you would have just been a kid, you are old enough to be his mother. I have a close friend who married a male 15 years her junior and they had a child together and now 15 years later are just recently divorced. And it is not pretty for all involved. I wish you the best of luck in trying to make your decision but would ask only that you be honest with yourself before accepting this proposal and be 100% honest with this guy beforehand and tell him of your inner feelings. Besides six months isn't much of a courtship, and if he is deployed at present then you are not spending a lot of valuable time together.

Answer 3

I dated a guy who is about 9yrs younger & he had me for a minute talking about children & marriage. I really enjoyed him & we had good times together my children enjoyed him but when its all said and done he will always be younger & you will always get older before he will. I won't so that it can never happen or its not possible but I couldn't do it, I needed someone to grow old with me. It was fun while it lasted & we enjoyed one another but I couldn't ever take him serious because of his age. Just to give you an example of this same situation my cousin married a woman when he was about 24 & she had to have been 2X his age. They are still married after 21yrs BUT at the time he didn't have children & she didn't want anymore, now 21yrs later he has a a 4yr old but not by his wife. When you get older & mature in certain areas you make differnet decisions then you would have made at 20. Some people grow to fast & then the look back & try to make up for lost times which is what my cousin did he wanted to get his youth back. Also a friend of mine did the same thing got married to an older woman & he now has a 4yr old daughter outside of his marriage & is now divorced. I know a lady who is 9yrs older than her husband shes about 45 now & she was trying to get pregnant because he doesnt have any children I don't want to be 40 years old trying to have babies I want to start enjoying my life again & preparing for my children for college or prom. When I am 40 my son will be 17 & my daughter will be 11. I won't tell you this can't work or it isn't possible but be careful & think this through before you marry or have children with a man 13yrs younger than you.

Answer 4

I would wait until he has been back in the states a while before marrying. There shouldn't be any rush. Unless you are absolutely sure, just wait. Sure you are older than he is, but you are not "old," you can wait to get married. Everytime I have felt rushed I have made the wrong decision. If it is the right decision it can wait.

Good luck to you.

Answer 5

First, six months is not a long time to really know someone .... especially with him being deployed and no doubt he is homesick . Don't be foolish and start a family right away, especially with someone who is still just a kid himself. Give it some time after his deployment ends. Come on, girl... use sense here. You have the blinders on.