please help-for the last 6 months my husband and I have been having serious sex problems. He finds it extrememely hard to get and keep an errection which makes sex practically non-existant. I am 29 and he is 36. we have 3 children and a very happy life together. the problem started around the time i caught him having sex online with a stranger. i know he really loves me but I am really insulted by his rejection and i am so frustrated. nothing works-oral sexs and me touching him turns him off-i've begged him to fantasize but either he doesn't or it doesn't work. what can i do?
2007-07-30 11:40:08 · 13 answers · asked by jenush 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AFTER reading your previous questions, it sounds to me like both you and your husband are playing games with each other. You lie about things, and hold back on the truth, like taking out your IUD, without telling him...maybe he doesn't want to have sex with you because he doesn't want any more brats brought into this world by a wife that would sleep with someone for money..I read that question as well. He probably just doesn't trust you and I don't blame him one bit.
2007-07-30 11:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Me S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How can people think that something is wrong with this guy like ED etc. 36 is not a death sentence for sex. Sounds like a bunch of young kids that don't know what they are talking about. You people are crazy. He just does not find you sexually attractive anymore for some reason. I have not seen a pic of you and you have had 3 kids. Could that be the reason? Maybe that is why he was turned on by a stranger online. That is why he does not react to your touch or anything else you do. If you do not get some kind of counselling he will be cheating on you to stay satisfied or you might be headed towards a divorce. Seek help quick!
2007-07-30 20:04:16 · answer #2 · answered by cuddleyleo2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Has your husband or you gained weight? Do you and him exercise?
Could be low-thyroid. That would make it harder to get aroused. Also. Testosterone being low affects his sexuality. It would make it harder for him to be aroused. You will need to have him checked out.
You might try to turn him on with Pheromones, you can buy on the net. Just put it in your favorite perfume.
Be sure you don't pressure him to much; remember sweetness works wonders with men. Also read the book, The JOY OF SEX.
2007-07-30 19:40:40 · answer #3 · answered by Dutch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can seek professional help. Do you have health insurance? Sometimes this health insurance helps pay for marriage counseling. In the meantime, Keep working on yourself by staying positive, exercising, eating healthy, the things that you can have control over. Stop worrying about his behaviour. When you get help, the counselor will help you through this, hopefully.
2007-08-03 16:07:01 · answer #4 · answered by maestra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably feels ashamed of what he has done and isn't able to relax and get comfortable with you. I have had a smiliar situation with my boyfriend involving text messaging. We went to see a professional. The therapy has help me to express the resentment and anger that I held in. He also was able to show me his feelings. Only after he and I were able to dig deep in to the feelings did our sex lives come back.
2007-07-30 18:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by The thinker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered that he may have ED?? It happens to men at very different ages and is not unheard of in a 36 year old. He should really discuss this with his doctor, as there are meds that can help.
I understand that it's frustrating for you, but I am sure that he is just as frustrated and embrrassed too!! Be patient with him, but supportive.
He really needs to go to his doctor.
2007-07-30 18:47:33 · answer #6 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe the situation isnt you. Perhaps he might have what they call erectile dysfunction. I wouldnt jump to conclusions about him not fantasizing about you anymore of not being interested in you. Is he at all concerned about this problem? If so maybe you should both go to a dr. and figure things out.
2007-07-30 18:49:51 · answer #7 · answered by The Wife 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel bad for you. But first of all it's not your fault. Do not search for what you've done wrong. It sounds like your hubby is disconnecting with personal relationship & making coonection on-line, that's not healthy I think you need to go to counselling together. It sounds like he's the one with the problem.
2007-07-30 19:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by yukonairedale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Dejavu. Girl you are at your sexual peak and unfortunately there isn't much you can do unless he is willing to take some viagra, cialis etc. Good Luck!
2007-07-30 18:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by been there 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs professional help
2007-08-03 17:45:44 · answer #10 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋