Restraining Order question?

Question

There is someone who threatened to put a restraining order on me. My mom called him and begged him not to do it. I didn't do anything wrong. My ex-bf dumped me for no reason and doesn't wanna stay friends. I need to know how to know that he is really not putting one on me. What are the circumstances that allow one to valid? What are the just reasons? If you are given one, can you fight it? Do you have to sign it? Is it hand delivered or does it come in the mail? How much does it cost? Does the court allow a restraining order on anyone as long as the other party is willing to pay for it even though the person they want to put one on is guilty of nothing at all? Any help concerning your knowledge of this is appreciated. I do NOT need one on me.

Answer 1

If you're not doing anything wrong, wrong meaning no excessive phone calls, no stalking, no driving by his home, work, threats, etc., then the TRO probably wouldn't get granted.

You would have to be served with the papers personally, that's how you'd find out and YES, you would have the opportunity to challenge/respond to the allegations.

Answer 2

First - take a really deep breath and relax.

If you didn't do anything wrong then you aren't in any danger of having to fight this threatened order. However, having people contact this guy on your behalf, (like your Mom), can be construed as doing something wrong, namely harassing him. So stop it, stop all contact, calls, letters, emails, IM, smoke signals, morse code immediately. Do not send anyone, or allow anyone, to contact him for you either. And don't play games or be obtuse about this either.

If your ex- BF wishes to get a restraining order he will have to petition your local Court. The filing fee is usually between $40 - $110 (maybe more where you live). Most likely he will only qualify for an anti-harrassment order since the two of you weren't romantically involved.

He will have to have good cause for seeking an order. He can't just get one because he doesn't want to talk to you anymore - it doesn't work like that. These orders are Court orders and it isn't as simple as asking for one and paying your fee.

If he can convince a Judge to issue a temporary order and set a hearing date then you will hear about it when you are served with the paperwork. It comes via Sheriff to your home address and not by U.S. Mail. You could call the Court asking if anyone has filed seeking an order against you -but how very psychotic does that make you look? (answer: very)

At the hearing date you will get an opportunity to defend yourself. Generally, whatever allegations you ex-BF made to get the order are included as a sort of discovery with your copy of the temporary order and notice of hearing date.

If, after a hearing, the Judge decides to enter a permanent order, you may be asked to sign it as acknowledgement that you understand the terms of the order and you have received a copy of it. Whether you sign is a personal choice. You can play nice, or you can create a big scene and possibly end up in contempt of court.

In my expereience, threats to take out an order are generally made to intimidate, frighten and control the other party. People who have good cause and concern to petition for an order generally don't stop to announce their intentions, they just do it. Nevertheless you should take this serious and the best way to truly do that is to stop giving him any ammunition he can use against you in getting an order. In other words, leave him alone. Leave him way alone.

Now take another deep breath and relax some more. Some things just aren't under your control, and this may be one of them. I'm sorry about your former BF - it sucks to lose a friend, escpecially without explanation, but its time for you to move on now. Good luck with that.

Answer 3

As a rule, there has to be a reason to issue a restraining order. One cannot walk into a courtroom and tell the judge, "Your honor, I want a restraining order against her", and poof, it gets done.

Have the police been involved between you two for any type of violence? Have you threatened him in any way? Did you stalk him at all?

The laws vary from state to state, but as a rule, they are hand delivered by an officer, and you sign one, and keep the other. the signed one goes back with the officer. Some states can force you to put up a bond if one is taken out against you, and the amount will vary

Tell your Mom to quit talking to him and taking his calls, and stop calling him. This may be a power sturggle thing for him.

Answer 4

Why do you want to see him if he doesn't want to see you.

It is over.

Move on.

He hasn't put out the restraining order yet. So now is a good time to start leaving him alone.

If he feels you are harassing him, he has a right to pursue a restraining order. You don't have to agree. The Sherriff (or other law enforcement dude) will serve you with the order and tell you to leave him alone.

The bottom line is this...he wants you to leave him alone. Leave him alone.

Go find a man who wants to be with you and forget this guy.

Answer 5

RO are not handed out like candy. Just like everything in the judicial process, there has to be "just cause" for a judge to issue a restraining order. And just like anything else, it is public information and you can go to the local county courthouse to find this out. Best advice is to leave him alone and find another guy, he obviously wasnt worth it in the first place.