He has very little patience even when sober but zero after a couple of beers. His first reaction to anything is yelling and if drinking - you absolutely cannot argue with him! Well, you can, but you'll never win. Also, he gets very mean and will bring up anything from the past that will hurt me. He acts this way with his kids also but fortunately they are all grown now and away from home. So ... it's just me.
If I walk away from him I can usually calm down but sometimes I get so angry that I feel violent and I have NEVER felt like that before. I realize my reaction is my problem, not his, but I don't know how to deal with him anymore!
2007-07-30 10:29:03 · 7 answers · asked by Susan N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FYI - I am not the mother of his children! We have been married for 8 years and his kids were in their late teens when we met.
2007-07-30 10:46:37 · update #1
I have been there and done that...and it does not get any better I guess until he realizes he has a problem and gets help. I say "I guess" because we never got to the point where things got better. I recently left my husband again because his drinking is unbearable and I go thru the whole verbal attack thing. He will call me every name or everything you can possibly think of. I just finally had enough of it and decided to leave him. I asked similar questions about how to deal with it and I was told to go to a Alanon meeting for support. I haven't had the chance to go yet but everyone I have talked to says this place is the best and will give you the support you need. So try that. You can try and talk to your husband, tell him how you feel and what point your at in the relationship and hope that he realizes how it's effecting you and your marriage. If he doesn't see it at all...strap on your seat belt girl because your going for a loooooong ride until he does realize it and if you choose to stay with him. Good Luck and God Bless...Pray it helps..:)
2007-07-30 10:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingme_ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband used to be like that. The best thing for you to do if you are not happy is to leave him. He sounds egotistical and seems very controlling. There is no reason you should put up with it if you are not truly happy. You should not have to feel like you are walking on eggshells every time he's around or be nervous to talk to him about something. Most of the time, those people don't change. You said so yourself, he won't listen! Use your better judgement!
As far as you feeling so angry, I totally know how you feel. My husband would NOT stop with the cursing and yelling when he was mad at me. It got to a point where I didn't even want to hear his voice, and I was so angry and so tired of hearing his stupid voice I couldn't take it anymore! And once you get to that point, there is no use staying...don't let him crush your spirit!
2007-07-30 10:37:38 · answer #2 · answered by amyvnsn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your reaction is by no means your problem at all. It's his problem because he is provoking you and backing you into an impossible no win situation. He's mean spirited abusive drunken sot who's only intent is to hurt you and degrade your self esteem. Since you feel calm by walking away from him, imagine how truly wonderful you would feel if you kept right on walking and never returned. By his actions toward you it seems that is what he is aiming for because he's proved that is no longer worth being around any longer. So if you can find an out, take it and get away from him before you really do something to him that you will end up regretting.
2007-07-30 11:15:19 · answer #3 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a woman with the same problem she went to the doctor and told the doc she has a drinking problem and is there any sort of pill out there that could get her to stop drinking. He gave her a prescription and then she gave it to her husband in his food.
I'm not sure why but when you want to stop drinking and you start this pill it's hard to stay on it...
My solution to your problem really isn't the best way but for some it's the only way other than divorce
2007-07-30 10:36:01 · answer #4 · answered by i love being a mommy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Insist on him attending anger management classes. INSIST on it, or tell him the last thing hitting his azz is the door.
Your more than likely a co-dependant. Get yourself some help too.
2007-07-30 10:35:16 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First the verbal abuse comes and honey if he is drunk it won't be too hard for him to become physically violent. I would suggest a marriage counselor
2007-07-30 10:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose Him ASAP*...
2007-07-30 12:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋