I have been married for 4 months and cant get enough sex.?

Question

here is my problem me and my husband have been married for a little over 4 months and sex is all I can think but he wont give it to me but once a week normally and I cant handle that all I think about is sex he knows I am in my prime and we are trying to have a baby but he just refuses to have sex with me more then that and it is always on the weekends. To have sex during the week I would practically have to take advantage of him. I think about sex all day and night he tells me that I am beautiful and sexy he makes me think he wants it then I get shut down once we are in bed he has even turned down all of my advances even the blunt ones that say hey this is what i would like he once told me that he felt that was all I wanted from so I started being more romantic and that didnt change anything I get I am stressed and I am tired what if the kid hears us but it doesnt change when the kid isnt around SOME PLEASE HELP this is causeing alot of problems for me emotionally and in the marrage

Just so that everyone knows number one we have an 11 yr old and it was his idea to have another. also I am in my prime and thats why I am wanting so much for one the other thing is if I got it more then once a week I would happier. I know I want it so much and think about it so much for the simple fact that I dont get it regularly before the I do's were said we had sex at least 4 times a week I would be overly happy with every other day or so.

more thing I have tried to talk to him about it and all he does is get angry and tell me to stop attaching his manly hood. It is a proven fact that people that so called " smother" their mates are lacking attenation of some sort.

Answer 1

You've only been married for 4 months and he wants it once a week?? Give your head a shake. Whats wrong with that picture. Can't believe some of you people out there. Your story will be different in a few years from now. Your the one that will want it once a week maybe... All i can say is good luck to you....your gonna need it.

Answer 2

Girl, This may sound cliche, or bias, but you need to do what you feel is right for you and also for your child. If you aren't happy then the home isn't happy. If you truly don't want to be with him, there's no point in staying with him for the financial reasons. If there is a will then there's a way. Rack up some money some how. Then find a job somewhere where you can be happy. I say it's not fair for someone who has freewill in life (and not to get religious but everyone is entitled to freewill by GOD) to live a miserable, unhappy life. If counseling doesn't work or isn't an option, then do what you must. But do not choose infidelity. It will be bad karma. No bad commenting but speculation on what you said about " no sex for months n months cuz he claims he's tired or simply not interested ".... might I suggest a spice up of the moment? Maybe dress up or role-play? Maybe have a relative watch your daughter for the weekend and just have a night with the two of you, and not ask it but demand it! TAKE CONTROL WOMAN! We have power, believe it or not, but he does have interest in sex, just maybe not with you, Men are men and believe me, men love boasting and being boasted. If you complain alot, try a day of not complaining. There are ways to work with men, all men, we just have to know what ways and work with that, TRUST Me. Men are truly simple. But you have to go along with it to get the point across. If he's not truly meant for you then you might just need to let it go.

Answer 3

First, slow down. You need to sit down with your man and listen to him. Ask him why he only wants it once a week and believe what he says. Ask him if he feels it's too soon to have a kid. (You mentioned that you're now trying to have a baby after 4 months of marriage. This may or may not be a contributing factor to his lack of libido. Often, once sex gets equated with baby-making, men have an issue with the sex.)

Once you've really listened to him, ask if there is anything you can do to help him feel more comfortably having sex more often. Usually, at this point, the man will feel listened to and appreciated (not yelled at for not giving it up enough) that he will be honest and work with you. Just be gentle and realize there's more to this than just him wanting sex with you: nothing in marriage is ever so simple.

Answer 4

It could be that he is just tired and stressed. Does he work long hours? I know I don't feel like being intimate with my hubby during the week b/c I work so hard.

But you also said you want to have a baby and maybe he does not and just won't admit it to you. If you are trying hard to get pregnant he may think you are just using him as breeding stock. Men get weird ideas in their heads sometimes. It's normal to want sex multiple times a week during the first few months of marriage...maybe you are thinking about it constantly b/c you feel deprived. I don't think the problem lies with you but you need to try and have a calm conversation about it and try to use analogies to make him understand, like "You know how you feel when you don't get this, or when this happens, well sex once a week is making me feel like that" Good luck!

Answer 5

you both need some time of counseling to help you through this. If your husband has some medical issues, or is on medication that lowers he libido, then you need to consult a doctor. Talk to him tell him how you feel and if he still does not do anything about it, buy yourself some toys. Or think about moving on..... You have only been married 4 months, you should still be in your honeymoon mood. At an average 2-3 times a week is average. Your husband has put you on a sex ration.

Maybe he things you only want to have sex to get pregnant and he does not want to become a father. If that is the case, use some kind of birth control.

Answer 6

I would like to know something. Was he like this before you got married. Seriously that's a valid question. I am shocked that you have been married for only 4 months and he is like this? If he was like this before you got married did you think he would change after the wedding? If he has changed since the wedding then I would suggest talking with him. Not at him but with him. Tell him exactly how you feel and that your concerned on how this could effect your marriage. I would suggest therapy but you have been married for such a short time that it seems ridiculous to have to go to therapy so soon into the marriage for something like this.

Answer 7

He is definitly affraid by the fac that your are trying to conceive. It may be unconscious. You maybe need a talk on that subject. If you are not in a hurry to have a baby I would advise you to tell him you are going to wait a little. If he feels less presure, he'll want the pleasure. Like I said, it may be unconscious of him but I am sure that's why it is like this. GOod luck

Answer 8

I think you should definately tell him how you feel; it could be something deeper maybe he doesnt want to have another baby right now or sorry to say maybe he is cheating on you. It sounds off that he does not want to have sex all guys or men want to have sex. I would think that you would be the dream wife.

Answer 9

Mismatched sex drives are common, you sound like every mans dream partner, its a shame youve married an incompatible husband, but its not right to expect him to be perfect, also he sounds a little fastidious, unexciting and quite boring really. Most men crave a woman who wants to phuk like a bunny, hope yall can sort it out ok? oooo I just remembered something...find out if he's ever had a heart attack? men who have had em apparently just lose their get up and go???

Answer 10

you may have to go seek professional help on his part. there is a reason that he turns down sex all the time. Maybe he is doing something that you are not aware of and thats why he does not want it with you. Do some investigating of your own.