When your guy is quiet when you're arguing...?

Question

what does it mean?
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does he care to much to argue with you or not care enough

its really a petty argument, that he could resolve if he just let his pride down a little.

Answer 1

He dosen't want to argue. Or you pissed him off bad.

Answer 2

Because it is petty, this is his way of dealing with the argument. He probably feels that it doesn't warrant a reply. Another reason that he doesn't reply is because he might not be able to control himself, and become physically abusive. He may also think by saying nothing is actually what the petty subject deserves, silence. If it is petty as you say, why don't you just drop it, make a statement and let it go. You don't always have to be right you know. If you continue to nag him about the argument then you will probably get more than you ask for. Why is so necessary to argue over a petty item? Is it your way of getting a rise out of him, or is it to see how much crap he can take before he blows his cork? Give him a break, and forget about it. You may just turn a petty argument into a major disagreement. I don't think that is what you really want, is it? Use your head and drop the subject before it gets out of hand.

Answer 3

We don't argue hon, we have a discussion and express our concerns. Arguments involve tromping on someone's ego, with rage and resentment.... Baby stuff, childish. Unfortunately we don't teach communication in hs... as a teacher, I apologize.....sorry about that.... better that you learn the language of negotiation and compromise..... "You are such a jerk when you come home late. Here I am having fixed dinner and where the f(l) uck were you? This food is cold, and it cost a fortune. Are you trying to be stupid?" is not cool...far better, "Gee, I wish you had called to let me when you know you were working late. Can we agree that if I'm going to be late or you are, that we call each other by 5 so that each of us can better plan the evening?" Arguments erodes your marriage, hon. Learn the language of correct communication... get a session or two from a counselor.... best $$ you will ever spend. He is probably not saying anything because he doesn't wish to insult you, nor is he going to take the bait for an argument to escalate, either... he knows more than you do. Perhaps your attacks are inappropriate in their language....

Answer 4

Tdon has it. lol That's how I feel when my husband gets quiet and that look of rage. He's trying to silent and calm himself so he doesn't say something he regrets or totally blow his top. That is my cue to drop it and wait until we can talk about whatever the issue is when it's not so emotional. It might be a petty argument but it might be the topping to a really crappy day on his part. Men have other issues besides wives! Shock! They actually have some stress at times in life! If it's petty, maybe you need to be the bigger person and drop it. Let your own pride down and leave him alone if he's not in the mood to discuss things.

Answer 5

I think that you have to weight the situation first. A majority of arguments have in the end no real merit. In other words, for an arguement to occur, it takes 2 or more people to debate an issue. Speaking from experiance, over 31 years of marrage. I have been in the dog house or should have been in there more than my share. I have come to take the advice of an elderly man that took time to share his lifes experiances.
When your in hot water you can do one of two things. Sit in the water and let it burn you or get out of the pot.
What does that really mean you may ask? Simply put, it means that if you dont want to be contencious and argue with your loved one, simply dont respond. That doenst mean that your ignorant, that your avoiding an confrontation or that your giving your other the silent treatment. It simply means that you choose to not add fuel to the already heavily burning fire.
My grandmother always told me, Son before you go off and do and say something that you might regret for the rest of your life, always stop and count to 10.
Some of us, "humans", depending on the tolerance of anger and for Love's sake, need to take the time and count to 20 or even higher. Who knows how many times as humans, we could have avoided some physical confrontations, even to the point of death, by just taking some time to cool down and rationalize things.
LOL
Sonny

Answer 6

The silent arguer is doing one of three things, letting you blow off steam and get it out of your system, but saying nothing in return to avoid the argument getting bigger. He can also think that this argument is not even worth arguing about, so just will not get dragged into it. Lastly, he knows that just sitting there and saying nothing, just silence will make you even madder because he is not letting you push his buttons.

Sometimes, my wife likes to argue, just to argue and will find something to argue about, petty, like you said. When she does that, I will not even validate her argument, only because she is trying to argue for no real reason and I know how mad it will make her if I just look at her like she is boring me... It is not pride really, it is just different styles of handling conflict. If it is petty, maybe you should stop arguing about it and surprise him.

Answer 7

well the thing with men is that they are scared that they will say the wrong thing so they just don't say anything at all which makes it worse to the girl cause sometimes we need to argue.. : ) But it is normal and you may as well get used to that because they aren't gonna argue back.. because when they do it gets ugly... So I wouldn't worry about it because you are gettin out some madness while he has no choice but to listen to it and at the end you feel better anyway.. I wish you the best. Good luck..

Answer 8

Some people just don't like confrontation. That's why getting upset and arguing rarely settles anything. There's no communication in it. Try just talking without the hostility and keep the emotions in check. Guys really shut down when you get too emotional because they really don't know how to handle it. It's not necessarily that he doesn't care, he's just not built to handle that.

Answer 9

My husband says he does that when I go on and on and on and on and on about the same thing. I can discuss the same thing 57 different ways. We struggled with it for a while...it made me feel like he didn't care. Now I know that I say what I need to say and let it go. Usually he'll respond. Sometimes, he'll only say sorry and move on. I think it's harder for women to get over stuff than men. It's a challenge, but things just keep getting better. Good luck.

Answer 10

When my husband does the silent treatment, it infuriates me. It is my firmest belief that a situation cannot be resolved unless it is talked about...ignoring it will NOT make it go away.

If the same thing happens every time you two have a disagreement, then maybe its time for some couples' counseling.

Answer 11

My husband has got to have his space and I want to keep on talking. He will try to ignore me and try to avoid me until he has worked through his anger. He's actually gone a couple of days without talking to me. I hate it! I want to talk about it, discuss it and be done with it. He doesn't. We have had to learn how to fight, because we both fight so differently. Now I know to give him a little space and when he's cooled off we can sit down and discuss things. It's much better now that I am not trying to force him to deal with the situation,.