I'm seriously starting to pull my hair out because I am at such a loss for what to do. She is such a happy baby, but I can not be out of her line of sight for more than 3 seconds (no exaggeration) before she starts seriously screaming. If I'm sitting on the floor with her she's fine and can play and entertain herself, but if I'm sitting on the couch or standing she wants me to hold her and screams bloody murder until I do.
I don't know what to do. She's started walking and does have a lot of independence for her age, so why is she soooo clingy to me? Separation anxiety was cute at first, but when you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself, it gets annoying, but I love my daughter and I don't want her to cry or feel scared every time I'm not in her direct presence.
How long will this last? Is there anything I can do to prevent or make it better? Does anyone else know how I feel??
2007-07-30 08:31:42 · 11 answers · asked by ♥Humble Proclaimer♥ 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I have been a mom for 28 years. I have 4 children, ages 28, 25, 22, and 10. I also have a 3 month old grandson and I have been a licensed child care provider in my home for 20 years. Separation Anxiety is very common and most children go through some degree of it at some point in their lives. There will be little you can do to get your daughter over this stage as she will need to work through it at her own pace. While it may initially seem better to leave her when she doesn't know you are going, it actually hinders the process. I suggest that if you have to go to the bathroom, tell your daughter, "Mommy has to go potty now. I'll be back soon." Get up, go to the bathroom, shut the door and take care of your business. Yes, she will scream bloody murder. Let her, she will be fine. When you return to her, smile and say, "Mommy is all done going potty and I came back." Give her a hug and a kiss and then go back to whatever you were doing. A lot of times initial Separation Anxiety comes when a baby/child is beginning to develop the understanding that things are still in existence even when they are not within their sight. Some children are very sensitive to missing things when they are out of sight and others hang on to that "out of sight, out of mind" mentality for awhile. Each is different. Of course you love your daughter, but you are not able to be with her every minute and she will need to gently learn that. Make it a habit, but don't go overboard, to let her know when you are leaving, what you are doing, and that you will be back. "I am going to answer the telephone now. I'll be back." or "I have to let the dog outside. I'll be back." When you return, simply say "I am back now". Soothe her if she has become upset, but again, don't go overboard. One hug and one kiss with an "It's OK, mommy is back now." is generally sufficient. The more you seem anxious to leave, the more she will sense there is something to be anxious about. Also, the more fuss you make over her when she makes a fuss gives her the sense that there is something to be fearful of. Make coming and going a simple part of life (as it really is), matter-of-fact with as little fuss as possible. She will cry, you are not being a bad mom if your leaving makes that happen. Her fear comes from your reluctance to leave and not from the actual leaving itself. Some children go through this at several stages of their lives. Others may have it for a day or two and it never shows up again. A lot has to do with their personality and there is little to be done about that. In only but a few rare instances does a child not quickly outgrow this stage of Separation Anxiety. I have, indeed, been where you are right now, several times. I deal with this on a daily basis with my daycare children. Some even develop this with me and cry when their parents take them home. Hard to say how long it will last, probably not more than a few weeks, but it may last longer and it may seem to get better and than get worse again when she gets a little older or goes through a change in her life or schedule.
2007-07-30 09:14:28 · answer #1 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Separation Anxiety 10 Month Old
2016-12-30 18:02:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 Month Old Separation Anxiety
2016-11-14 21:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. My toddler can still act like that now at 2 years old. She needs to know where I am at every moment of the day that I even have to let her see me when I go to the bathroom or take a shower. When I work and go to school she gives her father or her grandparents a lot of stress cause she keeps asking for me. I hear that it does get better with time and that kids will eventually get over it. I am still waiting. I believe that they think we are gonna go somewhere and not come back. What you can try to do is leave for a little while while someone else is watching her and then come back and see how to responds. But at 10 months, my little one had it bad like yours. Give it time and hopefully things will get better. Try get her involved with other little groups, like we were in mommy and me and a gymnastics class. At those classes she was so involved in what was going on, she ignored me for the hour, so that was good. Then after, it wasn't sooo bad.
2007-07-30 08:42:48 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand. It helped me to put a mirror (large and safe) on the floor leaning against a wall. This distracts them. Let them crawl to it and play and they can still see your reflection. This might help. And play roll the ball when they crawl after it, they are getting away a little bit but still see you. Take it slow, any fast leaving and it will backfire. Try ducking into another room while continuing to talk to her. If she can hear your voice, it should soothe her a bit. Play peek-a-boo with furniture. Out of sight...out of mind for a sec. Then she finds you and realizes that just because she can't see you doens't mean you aren't there...
2007-07-30 08:36:56 · answer #5 · answered by jade2311 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, I just laugh about my past 3 years of panic now. I was not able to go anywhere without carrying xanax. Fear of having another attack was the most important subject of my days.When i first found joe barry's web site i started to cry because of my happiness.
Free audio to end anxiety and panic attacks fast?
2016-05-17 09:29:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone at 18 month and still having a similar problem... Enjoy it now cause in a few years she will scream everytime you come within 3 feet of her
2007-07-30 08:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by Joey_Pit 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have trusted family come over and have the child interract with them while you are there. Then, slowly leave for a short time. It could just be a phase too.
2007-07-30 08:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by Brown-eyed girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her u will be back later to get her and just leave dont look back dont keep talking to her just go and she will get better ....
but she acts like that bc she thinks that u r goin to leave and never come back so u alway have to let her know that u will be back to get her
and when she screams crazy just let her do it like she will stop once she see that u wont pick her up ever time she crys ! it might sound mean but it really work and it will only take about a week
2007-07-30 08:37:28 · answer #9 · answered by ☆STAR☆ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
this is really something she needs to just outgrow. It's just a phase and she's at the exact normal age for it.
2007-07-30 08:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by a heart so big 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋