Now I know that I am. He doesn't trust me though, how can I prove it to him. If he loves me what will he do? Will he tell me to wait or will he take me back or...... will he let me go for good?
2007-07-30 08:16:31 · 31 answers · asked by Malaia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Incase age matters for you to give your opinion then, I am turning 21 in Oct. & he's turning 21 in 3 days.
2007-07-30 08:18:33 · update #1
You can't, and you have a lot of growing up to do still, so don't take it too hard.
You don't break up with somebody because you aren't ready to take the next step. That's not true. You are lying, and I know you are lying. You breakup with somebody so you can be free to date others without cheating on them. You didn't have an argument; you broke up. There are no second chances to do things right. It's over. Move on because your shot at a good relationship with this one is over.
2007-07-30 09:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move on! You sound like a good person who has experienced what we all do. That love that you think will last forever, but doesn't. Believe it or not, this happens to everyone, and it's natural. Those first few times spent together roll into a stronger feeling, and you both get more involved! Yay! Love! A couple of things. First of all, you sound like this is one of your first "real" relationships. If so, good!!! You learned a LOT from it! You learned that people don't always mean what they say, that men can be shallow, and will lie, lie, lie to get you to sleep with them... (I'm a dude, trust me on this one.) And when they get tired of you and want to move on, they will and leave you in the dust. That's ONE type of guy. Now there's another who will truly nurture you and give you the attention and the love you need and deserve. THESE are the guys you are looking for. How do you know which is which? Heh. Unfortunately, you can't differentiate them initially. It takes time. What you have to do is open yourself up to more relationships with other guys and enjoy them A LOT!!!! BUT, BUT, BUT!!! Make sure you DO NOT over-commit to the guy. Have fun with him, enjoy him, hang with him, do all that fun stuff. Enjoy yourself. And then, as more and more time goes by, you will be able to tell if he is the RIGHT one for you. So what I am saying is, be open with who you date, but be tight with who you truly open up to. Wait for that guy that is as in to you as you are in him... and time is the only way to figure that out.
2016-05-17 23:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to discuss this with your boyfriend, and honestly, you did the right thing when you took a step back. You felt you were not ready, so you acted with honesty.
Now make sure that you truly are ready and do not have a case of buyer's remorse, since you might just be missing him, yet are still not prepared for marriage.
I suggest you talk to your boyfriend, tell him that you were overwhelmed, but you love him very much, and try to talk about engagement, possibly living together for a while. You are still quite young, and if he cares for you he will take you back and give you the time you need.
Good luck.
2007-07-30 08:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course your not ready who is at that age marriage is a big step . at this point college -studies should be your focus. im not saying your clueless or immature or not a woman im saying in your 20's to your 30's you will be in search of who you are..finding this ..getting rid of that.. making mistakes to gaining experience..travel ..building a career.. finding out your heart 's desires turn on's to turn offs, dreams etc ..it goes on & on . not to mention his age too the ratio of a 21 year old man keeping a marriage is on the very low scale.. this is not to say the love between both of you isn't real or lasting but when you throw a marriage into it and a year from now a baby things will get harder for the both of you and that love will become a want thing for yourself that is i want to have a life or i want to do this etc.. then it will end at 25 if 25. now the baby wouldn't be such a bad thing but its a lot of responsibility a lot.. i hope no hard feelings you'll understand this later in life especially if you go ahead and marry him that i hope he doesn't take you back so your lives won't be screwed up and any kids future.
2007-08-06 22:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure why the 2 of you want to go into marriage at age 21?
have the 2 of you understand each other well, like and love is 2 different things..... why not stay at b/f & g/f relationship, spend another a year or 2 to confirm you 2 can really live together, understand each other well, then consider the marriage.
nothing wrong to tell you are not ready when you are not ready.
2007-07-30 08:25:53 · answer #5 · answered by lost man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cool off a little bit. Take some time to figure out if you're ready for marriage because you're afraid of losing him or if you're ready. If you jump into a marriage before you're ready, you'll regret it and he'll hate you.
I think it's great that you were honest enough to tell him you're not ready at the time you did. It's an adult thing to do. Now take some time to really examine your reasons for suddenly being ready. Talk to a counselor - it may help you as well.
2007-07-30 08:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by curious gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the decision was up to you, when you decide that you were not ready to take it to the next level. Marriage is for better or worst, and it's not there for lust. A lot of time people get married for other reason, like I will marry him or her because of my religion, or I marry her because she is pregnant. That is not what marriage about, you are getting to know the individual that you plan to be with for the rest of your life. Do not push your self into something if you know your are not ready for the marriage. Weather he take you back or not are you really ready to go to the next level.
2007-08-06 05:24:32 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were right about not being ready to move toward marriage. 21 is very young to be making a decision about who you want to be with for the rest of your life. Have you decided on a career? Has he? Have you both completed your education or training for these careers? I don't think he is ready for this move either.
2007-08-07 07:32:04 · answer #8 · answered by treebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darlin', you have SO much time! I don't know why you felt you had to end it if you weren't ready, but that's not my point. If he still has feelings for you, you have to walk through fire to get him back. Be there for him, but be careful not to let him take advantage of you! I said you have so much time because, you're not even 21! You have plenty of time to "date" in order to get the trust back. I made the mistake of marrying someone I didn't trust-it's not worth it! He has to fully trust you-so do everything you can to show him that you'll do anything for him!
2007-08-07 07:23:00 · answer #9 · answered by Hick Chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he truly loves you and was serious about marriage in the firs tplac ehe will take you back. make sure you are truly ready for marriage too and not because you miss him . marriageis a very serious thing and will only work if you both have the trust and love to make it work . i do disagree with you beaking up with him becasue hewanted to ge tmarried but i also understand on the other hand hat maybe you got sscared . just call him and tell him you want to talk to him and set him down and tell him how you feel and let him tell you how he feels . good luck and best wishes and let us know what happens
God bless you both
2007-07-30 08:30:49 · answer #10 · answered by tommysgirl4life 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋