We met up with my husband's boss , his wife and coworker at a "drunkfest" if you wanna call it that. We are all younger and my husband and I are newly weds. Normally his coworkers think I'm stuck up, but when I get with the boss's wife, we get lit and let loose. My husband and his boss think its great, we all have a great time. This time the co worker mentioned to my husband that I was "Too Friendly" I swear, I didn't cross the line at all.But now he's talkin about it to everyone at his work. He wont tell my husband or me what it is that supposedly happened. It has me p!$$ed and my husband questioning. What am I supposed to do?
2007-07-30 07:59:35 · 14 answers · asked by Suggar B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It was not a work related function. We all just happened to be there, because it is one of those places in time you get lit and throw the worry to the wind.
2007-07-30 08:08:24 · update #1
You are young so you guys get a pass but you will learn. Be very careful about mixing your fun with your co-workers as soon as a co-worker starts going around telling people at work what goes on when you guys are on your off time, it's time to cut him lose forever.
He crossed the sacred line between work and play but I'm guessing he's young and immature as well.
2007-07-30 08:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NEVER EVER drink to excess with a boss or co-worker. This is exactly what happens. No matter what you may be like "normally", people are always going to remember what you are like drunk. And when promotion time comes up, THAT'S what they think of first.
What's done is done but save yourself further embarassment and annoyance and just don't do it anymore.
If he's "talking to everyone about it at work" but won't say what happened, what is he saying that is so bad? That you're "too friendly"? Okay, so what does that mean? Ask someone that he's talked to.
Your HUSBAND needs to confront this guy and say either tell him what happened or shut up about it. Plain and simple. He needs to let him know that it's insulting to his wife and that is not something that is acceptable. If this coworker continues to hint around that something went on, your husband should file a complaint with human resources stating that this persons behavior is making the workplace uncomfortable
YOU are to do NOTHING. As ticked off as you are, any more protesting on your part makes you look guilty. I would shrug it off and act like this person is just a fool. You can respond with answers like "He must have had a few too many and been wishful thinking because I have NO idea what he's talking about" (that very well may have been the case)
2007-07-30 15:12:19 · answer #2 · answered by teacherintheroom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, if I were your husband I'd want specifics from the guy, or tell him to shut his F*cking trap. And honestly the co-worker would be on the outs from the next drunkfest. If not I wouldn't go...when the bosses wife asks where her drinking buddy is I'd just politely tell them that the last time, the said co-worker, told everyone you were being too friendly and that you don't want to cause anymore trouble with the employees. Not that you did, but it makes the other person look bad for being a tattle tail and party pooper.
2007-07-30 15:23:48 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing.
First of all, it is a REALLY bad idea to get loaded with people from work, especially the boss. Don't ever do that.
Tell your husband to ignore and avoid office gossip. Do not participate in any way. Including believing it.
Tell your husband you love him and want the best for him. Tell him you don't think it is such a hot idea to get "loose" around the boss--just look what has happened. Get him on YOUR side against the office tattlers.
Probably nothing at all happened, but the IDEA that something did is powerful.
Don't get in that position again at your work or his. Avoid the appearance of a misdeed by staying sober and talking politely at the next party. Stay near your husband-so everyone can see you behaving well.
You have plenty of ops to get loaded without it interfering with your jobs.
Your husband can tell this loser at work to put up or shut up and if he doesn't your husband can file harassment against him with HR. This is not funny.
2007-07-30 15:14:35 · answer #4 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband that you have no idea what the co worker is talking about. Remind your husband there was a lot of alcohol involved and he is talking out his *ss. I would also suggest that you keep any social activities with the boss to a minimum. My hubby doesn't like to socialize with the people he works with...wants to keep those people and are friends separate and for good reason.
2007-07-30 15:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not dignify him with a response. Ignore him like the school child in which he is behaving. Have your husband talk to him boss about the rumors this coworker is spreading.
2007-07-30 15:10:57 · answer #6 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Getting lit at your husband's business outings is never appropriate for the reasons that you have indicated above. Save the socializing and drinking for friends that you do not have to work with.
Explain to your husband that you have decided not to drink in these situations anymore. And, that you also feel that since everyone was drinking no one was in the position to judge another's behavior. Be sure to ask him why he would doubt your behavior.
I think that you are going to have to swallow a bit of pride on this one in order for it to become water under the bridge.
2007-07-30 15:05:58 · answer #7 · answered by nichole2583 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, but there is no good answer. When married people drink to excess in one of those semi staged type events of drunken silliness, lines get crossed- and sometimes others just think lines got crossed. Things get stupid when adults try to act like college kids on spring break. All you can do is avoid stupidity from now on.
2007-07-30 15:34:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a husband I would confront this co-worker and directly tell him to stop spreading rumors. Especially if he can't provide me with proof that you did anything.
Secondly, I would trust your word above anything a co- worker tells me.
So again explain to your husband that nothing happened and he a real man, he will believe you
2007-07-30 15:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You really don't have anything to be pissed at the co-worker about. You were drunk - what you might consider not crossing a line, he could have. "letting loose" has a lot of connotations to it. He could be somewhat conservative and uncomfortable talking about the incident.
I suggest you watch your drinking and behavior when you are out among your husband's co-workers from this point forward.
2007-07-30 15:18:54 · answer #10 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋